ratcum

Before choosing the fixed wing route, I built up a number of hours in helicopters. It was certainly long enough for me to class them as utterly cuntish and about as airworthy as a bogey

meet me in Saint Louis.

Hoddle's religious rants against disabled people were unforgiveable. The zealous cunt decided to inform them they were all sinners in a former life. I hope he reflects on this whilst in hospital, along with any tax avoidance scheme he's in, keeping money from the NHS. I hate this self-righteous bastard with a passion.

Wiz Khalifa's ma dawg

Perhaps it's actually Saudi lobbing instead of lobbying WC? He should lob them into a pit of vipers, which is all the sand shovelling savages deserve. The sooner their oil runs dry, the sooner civilised people will dump them.

Glen Hoddle must have been a cunt in a former life

I'm off to Pittsburgh to soak up the atmosphere

reminds me of my Cairo days CB

I hope Sir Philip Greed get's nailed to a three bar electric fire

Good old Stub! Like a thalidomide attack; best kept at arms length

Good old Trumpton; like spina bifida only without the sticky out bit

Please tell me the racist meltdown guy on the Ryan Air flight isn't a hinge! David Mesher he's called. Perhaps him and racist UKIP cunt, Godfrey Bloom, are partners in slime?

I would sew up a particularly hungry rat in her fish vice Deco

with a bit of luck she'll get anorexia and slip through a drain cover Jewdy

What about "Mr Slitty Goes West" by Roger Hargreaves?

Ah yes, Minty. A Melopsittacus god. A ninja parakeet He could take a cat's eye out at thirty yards you know

Are you filling in for Frank now Lupo? I thought fagging was the preserve of Tom Brown's School Days.

If I were to choose a name for someone who successfully invaded us and generally kicked our arses, it wouldn't be Norman. Or The Normans.

Irish Americans are an anathema. Or an enema. They claim some sort of folk memory or spiritual link to their forebears, which in reality is just fanciful bollocks. British expats are a twatty bunch as well. Exactly when do they decide to start referring to Britain as 'the UK'? I'd gas them all and their pets.

taxing time? Fuckin brilliant Rat! You should be on the radio with this material

I see another soft furnisher is being investigated for sexual assault. This time it's our very own Sir Philip Greed, pension robber and all round shyster. This must be a very taxing time for the odious bastard

I'm so confused about this shit again this year, I'm going to carry around my cousin Poppy. She really is called Poppy and I intend to wear her with pride. Eminently recyclable, I get to use the cunt again in 2019 and thus boost my green credentials

yeah but I still get cunts wanting to handle my 'Scarlet Globe or taste my 'Pink Beauty'

I used to love the homoerotic names given to some varieties of radishes WC.

I reckon the Duke of Edinburgh will start singing Ram Jam's "Black Betty" to Megan during the latter stages of her pregnancy