Frank

Phew. I'm not looking to endorse any sort of approach, but I would certainly recommend a second opinion. There's something in your tone that suggests you might not be with us for much longer.

It doesn't get any better than this. I was so great back then...

Cancer?

It may not have been said, but it was deathly quiet without those two pricks. We did have bawsey I suppose...

Let's work on our relationship MikeFuckingD. You know I like you really.. a lot. Have this on me - Blackstabbers. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzTeLePbB08&sns=em

Mike, with the utmost lack of respect, you're clearly not the full ticket.. certainly way out of your depth on here.

It's quite extraordinary that you obviously still suffer after all these years. A touchy little humourless man, probably no taller than 4ft, with a big fat fucking chip on your shoulder. MikeFuckingD you are without doubt, after Snatch and Proper, the Corner's most tedious sap extraordinaire.

Do you recall the relentless bullying I received from cunts Furio and Bender?

Withers you've done so well thus far. Don't bite now.. minkey. 'endorsed the approach'... upstart trainee solicitor speak. What a wanker you are. Die.

That boy will never learn. He shows promise, then lets himself down... lets us all down. Pity.

I wasn't Punkape. He was good!

Cavalier Bill disappears in a double huff with his Syd Little sidekick, only to reappear days later, hand in hand with gaping arses and a slow clap. A Peters and Lee pair of utter utter cunts.

One was hoping you'd have the patience to refrain from posting for at least a week... you haughty spastic. You're almost 30 now Dicky. Where's your fucking pride? Idiot.

Quite possibly the soggiest, wettest, self-centred pile of fucking shit I've read in hours. Cuntspot I'm in Wales over the weekend. Fancy an eyeball?

That sounds rather charming Pen. If I'm very honest, I'm not sure if you're the gobbie type who'd be happy to wear my bukkake mask. I'm not overly concerned over how many teeth you may or may not have.

It wasn't clear Scotty. For all we know, soppy whining Withers might have been subjected to 28 days of Smooth or Magic. You know it's serious as cancer, when I say rhythm is a dancer.

Cancer?

I'm out of likes. Brilliant! Idiot.

I would happily elbow-pummel the Costello cunt's bumhole before setting him on fire. His wife Di, although a little plump, is a very lovely lady.

wonderful

true.

Proper you total bore. If Pen rejects me too, are you around on Wednesday for a pint and a quick reach-around?

Noted.

Pen, whilst Gobbie struggles to come to her senses, I don't mind if you fancy stepping in as her understudy. You'd need to tart up a bit and slap on some cherry lippy.... fear not, I'm way past my face fucking stage! We can wend our way through the park and have afternoon tea at the Dorchester.

Gobbie I took a train into London this morning from Exeter St Davids. Walked over Waterloo bridge into Covent Garden, then took a cab to the Serpentine in Hyde park. I thought perhaps now's the time to make amends and was hoping you'd give me the opportunity to explain myself. There's a romantic little café here overlooking the water where one can watch arabs grollying up. They have small boats for hire...