Frank

Type with your fingers, you stupid fucking cunt.

Yes. However, when you see my head pop-up between your bed sheets in the middle of the night.. and I take a bite out of the side of your stupid fucking head, it's no longer only a website. It's just you and me, in your bed.. all cosy.

Something odd has happened, decs. It goes against every fibre of my being, but I just can't find it in me to say a bad word about you. I could go as far to say that you are a decent, well balanced, likeable fellow. CBT worked for me.

I'm itching for a nuts-in face fuck, gobbie. I'm game for giving your hairy a dusting down too if you can fit me in between punters.

All's well that ends well, Jackie. At our age things can be pretty much shit or bust. When you stand back and take a look at what you might have achieved, death can sometimes be the sensible option. I was in the Conran Shop in Marylebone this afternoon looking at the Christmas baubles.

Wiz.. minkey, if I had to choose between you and the majority of fucking pinheads that frequent this site, or soppy-arse Bill relentlessly tapping out the alphabet backwards.. I'd choose Bill hands down.

Dirty fucking whore.

I might have a solution for you, decs. It's tricky and might cause a little upset.. Invite the kids to play hide and seek.. you go first. As soon as they start counting to 10, tippy-toe upstairs, strip naked and dive into the nearest wardrobe. Hang yourself.

Quite a contrast compared to what you wore on your last visit - a rucksack. This explains your recent tetchiness... the dreaded trip to London. Stay low.

Good morning! I'm having another endoscopy this morning, spot. I do love that twilight sleep shit.

The feeling must have been electric.... five million copies! Tell me about the day job, spot.

There's a lot of thinly disguised spite in your recent posts, spot. Naturally it's all tongue-in-cheek double bluff dingalong type shit... but one can age rapidly and lose ones self in retirement. Bitterness shortly followed by death. Several dozen albums you say?

You were never great a disguising those periodic dippy hissy fits of yours. It's okay, spot.. I don't think anyone noticed.

Well I guess it's quite an achievement.. I suppose. Playing the plinka-plonka on several dozen albums and getting paid handsomely. You can't ask for much more than that, can you? You silly old bastard.

God help the poor doctor who has to look up your dirty old homeless fanny when it starts falling apart. Mind you, it's been battered by your brothers for so long, there can't be much left of it.

There's nothing worse than a gypsy, Mike.

I'm sensing that you're no longer particularly fond of this lady. The very lady that you once loved.. made love and shared love. It's heartbreaking, decs. I think it's high time that we met to talk this through.. even share a blow-back on a Mayfair or two. I don't know if you speak French, but this really sums up where you are ...

Fuck off ding.. dope. Previous and current ID's are Tot (Rat), Punkape, Judge and Catwoman. There you go.

Decs, my advice to you is the same advice I give to other semi-intelligent father's I know.. If you can afford it, send them boarding as soon as possible. If you can't.. start thinking about an exit plan. Whatever you do, don't do a nocti. Hope this helps xx

Jackie my initial response was a little flippant to say the least. This may not be the platform to raise any personal issues you might have.. and forgive me if I am mistaken, but I sense a cry for help. If I can prevent a tragedy and stop a friend from taking his own life ... I'm here for you. Kill yourself.

Everyone deserves a chance.. I don't know. It wasn't cheap sending all that shit. I assume your absence was due to burying that fucking god awful wife of yours...

Has Jazz hacked your account or are you allowing your demons to get the better of you? Silly.

The restaurant saga I regret. Almost 5 years on and it's still too hilarious to contemplate. Shortly after his extraordinary meltdown, he posted his home address on here and invited everyone to physically take him on. Naturally I took it upon myself to send him, by special delivery, a dollop of my own faeces for 31 days consecutively. The other shit wasn't me.

It all came about when Tot and I were courting back in the day. This was our song.. We're not all sad fuckin guitar playing muso daydreaming pensioners.

Get to bed you fucking punch-drunk bird brained bint of no fixed abode.