Stubby Pecker

I wonder it possess the same contents of manky's northern hovel? See the open corner for a full breakdown of what he gets up to in there

I content myself with an air rifle these days. Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Minimi is a great piece of kit but give me the stopping power of 7.62 any day. We've got the yanks to thank for the 5.56 pea shooter rounds designed to wound.

No fucking chance. That phase is obviously code you jobby jabbers use to set up your nefarious gatherings so I'm not falling for it. My shitter is a one way passage and I'm about to eat a very hot Sri Lankan curry.

You're a card punkers. I bet you're the life a soul of every party. Bukkake party of course.

Punkers you useless shit, show yourself and come back with a witty put down, you're taking a fucking hammering

It's a deal. PM me your postcode and we'll have a round tomorrow. I promise not to sneak round in the early hours and catch you fast asleep

You dribbling spaz, I hate golf it's for cunts like you. I'd happily go out on the course with a GPMG and start culling. All golf courses should be turned into nature reserves. Fuck off you total gay

Well considering I used to work in conservation, specifically farm land birds, not a lot. Native grey partridge are extinct across huge swathes of the uk due to intensification of agriculture but 14 million non native pheasants and red legged partridge released every year for cunts to shoot, can't help. Fuck off and eat your ortolans you bocage dwelling Vichy cunt. Please choke to death amongst your cuntry men infused with plenty of german DNA thanks to the rampant fucking of your grandmothers

Lost control of his bowels a long time ago due to the effect of too many fisting sessions at the 19th hole

You have an arsehole the size of Jodrell Banks biggest dish which weeps congealed shit, spunk and blood 24 seven. And youre a lying, toadie Walter Mitty of a spaz who lives with his mum and posts images of your favourite wank socks in the dark web. Kill yourself and die screaming, alone.

You pathetic, snivelling dog turd. I feel a lengthy ban coming for you but not from the corner, from the general public due to your vile sexual practices. All and sundry, apart from your alter egos, pen and panzy, are sick of your bullshit on repeat mode. 100% predictable is a coming post about golf/the popes cock/fine wines/drink driving in your landie. For those read bumming/jamahls cock/jamahls piss and spunk/shitting your pants again in your cardboard box home. Kill yourself now.

Glugg, glugg- punkers gulping down a gallon of good catholic goo of a Sunday morning. Your imaginary church must be the best attended by an all gay congregation in the whole of Cheshire. Fucking cry baby little snitch, report yourself, not to admin, but to the Pope for immediate burning at the stake.

Folks can smoke at my gaff-after I've burnt the cunts to a charred bloody mess

Give pansy a break snatcher, he's coming good with his cunting. If only he'd use half legible prose, capitals and proper punctuation and take his cock out of punkapes racid rectum I think he'll be winning

Sunday tomorrow punkers; your chin ready to have the cardinals nuts slapping against it as he cleans the cheese off his bellend on your tonsils, you dirty little cunt?

Unsurprisingly 'eav, I used to keep sticklebacks when I was a lad, even got them to breed. I used to take great delight feeding them creepy crawlies, however, they did turn canabalistic which was suicide as they choked to death. I released the plucky survivors back into the canal.

There's a special place in hell for punkape for all the heinous shite him and his "golfing" buddies get up to on the 19th hole. Satin and all his pixies will spit roast him, yes that kind, for eternity. Hell is for heroes

True, I once dangled the old chap in the severn to cool it down after a particularly angry tug and a bastard pike had the end 7 inches off.

What an incredibly dull story. Please regale us with the one where you lost your anal virginity as a camp follower to kitcheners force in the Sudan. Those fuzzy wuzzies don't like it up 'em, but you obviously did.

I don't care where they burn or bury this hideous jobby jabber, it could be Mongolia or Greenland, I'll still go there to piss on his grave.

True, but she give me the 'orn

Bollocks. Roops will have the definitive answer to whether little green men live on mars and if they wouldn't mind awfully if we destroy our planet and come and live on theirs. She also knows how to get there, how long it'll take and what you fucking well had for tea. Sorry, that last one was Baws, the devious mother fucker

They're not native to the uk, like most successful wildlife here, it was introduced a while back and has taken a great liking to the local aquatic inhabitants and discovered they're all great to eat. All angling should be banned with this the only species to be targeted, until it's extinct here. They we can move on to the signal crayfish, grey squirrels, muntjac and those fucking ring necked parakeet cunts which take all the nest holes once used by starlings. Canada geese can fuck off too, and they're good to eat and easy to catch

Misunderstood full time lunatic, perhaps. Captain Birdseye was a cunt