1 hour ago, Decimus said:

Ghastly.

One man's meat...

1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Is that before or after it's been eaten?

I can't tell, that's what worries me!

It's the Christmas No.2 I'm worried about, especially after that vindaloo I ate, on top of the seven pints of Guinness...

Oh shit!

As is tradition in the 'season of goodwill', I propose we play a game, this one is called 'Lookalikes' or 'The Ghosts of Christmas Past'

These are people you thought (or wished) were dead, but somehow they're resurrected to become other pointless, mediocre celebrities.

Guess which one is which...

Jessie J

 Jade Goody

On 22/12/2019 at 12:42, Decimus said:

I've been on several so far this year,

So, despite the first one being shit, you persevered and attended several more.

I couldn't be arsed going to any fuckin' parties, who wants to take the risk of meeting the very people you've been avoiding all year, just for the sake of some mixed-nuts, a salmonella sausage roll and some warm Prosseco?

Jacob Marley was a cunt!

11 hours ago, King Billy said:

I would definitely shoot a load over Melinda Messengers tits, if that’s any help.

Those puppies are made of silicone, you'd be better off spilling your jizz over some internet porn, if you find some tits that actually look real.

Just now, Decimus said:

No, it was a dead prostitute.

Dressed in a Southampton shirt.

3 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Lella Lombardi

Are you sure she's female?

4 minutes ago, Decimus said:

the Biased Broadcasting Society fucking loves it whenever a split arse gets one over on "The Patriarchy"

Strange that they still haven't managed parity on remuneration then, isn't it?

Two faced, snowflake cunts!

37 minutes ago, Neil said:

What a cunt,staring at a mother and daughter with his cock in his hand.What?..no of course it wasn't me,Neil Shipperley the ex Saints striker ..............my van must be faster than his.

How old was the daughter?

Wasn't that a Southampton shirt I saw hanging on your washing line the other day?

16 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

You should see the damage the cunts have done in F1. Sauber doesn't even exist anymore, mismanaged into oblivion, and Claire Williams, whilst being grade A wanking material, hired a one armed Pole to drive the car this year. They finished dead last. 

It must be really difficult driving an F1 car with the baby sat on your knee, and checking the mirrors to make sure your makeup isn't skew-whiff.

Just now, Eric Cuntman said:

The standard of women's snooker is atrocious. Reanne Evans has won 12 women's world titles in 13 years. That tells me one thing.. She's the only half decent player on the circuit. They keep trying to shoehorn her into the men's tour, but she gets wiped out by semi retired cunts like Jimmy White and Ken Doherty.

All I'm saying is, women can compete on equal terms, if they're good enough.

It's not my fault if they're doing the washing or cooking the evening meal when they ought to be practicing their break building.

18 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/50814275

So the Italian FA decided to do its bit in campaigning against racism in football. So, a panel of cunts knowing that black players have been on the receiving end of sickening abuse by racist cunts doing monkey chants decided to get their heads together and come up with a campaign headed by artwork that will be a powerful tool in addressing this disgusting saga. 

"Hey! I gotta a great idea! Let's have a bigga paintinga of some monkeys"?

"Bravo Mario. I meana what canna go wronga"? 

Useless spaghetti eating, shit car making, arse pinching, lambretta riding, handbag snatching on mopeds cunts. 

I notice there was no mention of it's stance on homophobia, just as well really, or the whole of Serie A would be abolished!

Football is for irons. isn't it?

8 hours ago, Neil said:

.If you can call darts a sport its possibly the only one where a bird can mildly compete alongside a man

Some women are pretty decent at snooker, it requires no physical strength, just hand-eye coordination and nerves of steel, a bit like wanking in public 😏

21 hours ago, Dawn Chorus said:

I told her on Friday afternoon.

Harsh!

On 14/12/2019 at 22:51, White Cunt said:

You will be rolling in it by Christmas Eve.

Shit and jizz?

You could see his problem when he went to Glastonbury, and all the middle-class, champagne-socialist cunts started chanting his name, it went straight to his turnip head and he actually believed he had a future in politics.

The poor, deluded, fool.

Looks like a Worthy Farm scarecrow is the only option!

19 hours ago, Glowworm said:

Hoping them and Greens will be and I hope that someone shits in Mrs Krankei's mouth.

Sounds like Ratty's Christmas has come early!

On 30/10/2019 at 14:01, Stubby Pecker said:

On a completely unrelated note, I noticed on last nights news from the House of Commons Swinson sports a cracking set of tits, just sayin'

So does fat-boy Boris, but he has a better bra.

On 11/12/2019 at 07:26, Glowworm said:

Decco keeps fucking me as well.

Spit-roasted, nice!

You ungrateful cunts.

It's not easy making a shit living on zero hours minimum wage, keeping a leaky roof over your seven kids and third-hand partner's heads, have some fuckin' sympathy, after all, it is the season of goodwill. 🎅

On 05/12/2019 at 07:45, Glowworm said:

Its is best not to worry yourself about it .. just look what has happened to Eric .. wanting to slice trannies and fight strangers in bus shelters. Get on with your life.

Wormy, you're wise beyond your years, and due to scurrilous rumours about your unverifiable age, that's makes you very wise indeed!

Family of nine 'surviving on just £480 a month' after benefits slashed by cap.

Ryan Rodgers, 26, and his partner Jenny Grimes, 25, say they used to receive £2,100 a month in financial support.

But the couple - who have seven children all under the age of seven - say the introduction of the benefits cap has decimated their finances and left them reliant on food banks.

They say they have been left with no option but to launch an appeal on GoFundMe for help as Christmas approaches.

Ms Grimes says 'I want to get full-time work but it's difficult when my partner is hanging out of me for most of the day'.

Seems to me somebody's slashed the wrong sort of 'cap'!

10 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Slim Dion 

She's got a lovely...bank account!

1 hour ago, Glowworm said:

Scousers will inherit the earth 

.

Only if they've fiddled with the will.