All my relatives were wiped out in the great Shitpeas Village bridge disaster when the wooden bridge gave way and all the caravans plummeted into the river Wanke and was swept away. I was the only survivor as I was having a wee behind a bush. You can't imagine what this did to the mind of a 5 year old. Some say it was this that got me on the drink.
(Some, all or maybe none of the above may be true. Except the drink part)