camberwell gypsy

Nurse nurse, can I have some Lorazapam please?

I don't know any football hooligan. I don't move in the same circles as you.

I did work with him in A&E years ago. He was once on a holiday flight when a call came over the tannoy asking if their was a Dr on board. He thought "fuck this" and waited hoping that there was another quack on board but no one came forward, so reluctantly he stood up and announced that he was a Dr. Of course everyone thought he was taking the piss and told him that this wasnt a joke and to "fucking sit down". Sheepishly he told them that he was actually a qualified quack. Turned out he had to perform an emergency tracheostomy with a coat hanger and a biro. Which to be quite honest is easy as piss for a nurse let alone a Dr.

The woman in the bed next to me did not stop talking bollocks to me this afternoon. Her daughter did this, her daughters husband does that, yadda yadda fucking yadda. She did not fucking stop. The type of cunt who believes that her life is interesting and everyone one should know about it. In the end I called a nurse over and told her to pull the curtain round. Her face was a picture as it disappeared. I don't know what it looked like when she heard me say "Thank you nurse Angela. She was boring the shit out of me". Oh I almost forgot: Fuck off drew"

Keith Lemon is as funny as pancreatic cancer

Two little dicky birds sitting on a wall, one named Peter one named Paul, fuck off Peter fuck off Paul.

I bet the hours just fucking fly by in your house Rick

No, it's the way my hospital gown hangs

It's not just the wobbling, it's the upper torso as well. Like a big glove puppet

I'm currently in hospital recovering from a minor op (no not a breast reduction) and to ease the hours of boredom I decided watch a bit of tv. I tune in to BBC news to catch up on the world events and see John Sopel, reporting from Washington on the Trump inauga....inorga...swearing in of the president, giving a synopsis of the day's events. I lost the gist after a few seconds of what this cunt was saying because he was moving his head backwards and forwards and side to side like a fucking weeble on speed as he spoke. Sally James did it on Tiswas years ago as well. A bit later the ward nurse came over to take my BP reading, started talking about her day and fuck me she started doing it as well! Why the fuck do some people do it? Like a fucking glove puppet. Got a headache now

You can't have rice and peas without the rice can you? Just peas is a bit silly

Charlie Chaplin with a slashed jugular

What's grey and comes in pints? Elephants

Never heard of her.

Not the first time but I don't want to crow about it

Don't a member if this site touch up chickens?

I thought it was the Hebron Road

Is that Colonel Sanders?

I'm just being cagey.

No. Definitely a fat cunt in a wheelchair

Maybe he just wanted cheep thrills

Maybe he was doing it for the trill of it.

It was a pub in New Cross where I got arrested when I was 18, for aggro and ended up doing 6 weeks in a country police cell* *prison officers dispute

It's her faux working class wanker of a dad I can't fucking stand. Cunt

That was good. I like that one.