camberwell gypsy

No I don't have that in my garden. But I do have some lovely Clematis.

My mummy knew the little boy who was Damian in that film's mummy. She met her one day, and sent me out to kick a football about with him on the little green in front of his house. Just saying

I can't be bothered reading this. Everyone knows the protestant church are a bunch of horned headed devil worshippers who will be fucked in hell for all eternity. Well that's what Sister Unctuous told me when he was giving me the cane.

Who Lee Remick?

Why go to a public pool when I have my own in the back garden? (Luckily Costner missed it with his helicopter)

People who go on demonstrations only go because they've got fuck all else to do. I'd rather go and watch Castleford Tigers pummel St. Helens than fuck about carrying a placard and listen to a bunch of silly cunts sing 'We shall overcome" or such bollocks any day.

Carl Orff? More like Fuck Orff.

That goes for virtually every Citroen and Renault ever made

Did she divorce the Spanish sounding gentleman?

I walked past the houses of Parliament last summer. It could have been me on that bridge. IT COULD HAVE BEEN ME GOD DAMMIT. IT COULD HAVE BEEN ME!!!

Aw!

Is that Withers being all romantic with his wife?

It did with Costner and his helicopter. He asked if he could have a pee in my toilet. I said "OI Costner NOOOOOO. All your films are shit especially that crap where he makes a baseball pitch and all the ghosts come out of the corn to play. Get your chopper off my lawn and fuck off, you flop movie making cunt. And is that Samuel L Jackson sitting there? He can fuck off as well".

Is that the same wife who was kidnapped in Paris? Wait hang on; that was a film weren't it? Doh

You're right. It's just fucking coffee. Have one before you come out. I have fucking patients come into my surgery with them and stink it up with arabica beans or whatever goes in them. Cunts the lot of em.

I had the same problem with Costner.

Make that 1601

I admire Ford and his moody intense portrayal of deep disturbed heroes and his light hearted performances in the Star Wars series and he would be a most welcome guest in my humble abode. But if he landed his plane on my lawn, disturbing my koi carp and knocking over garden ornaments and causing deep trench marks with his wheels in my beautiful, manicured grass I'd say "OI! FORD NOOOOOOOO".

What a pile of utter bollocks

Ohuhohuhohu now then now then

You're all getting silly now, boys!

Polar bears are in the North.

Children's parties? Do you still wear the gold tracksuit, dark glasses, blond wig and big cigar costume? It's my nephews birthday in a couple of weeks and he's an obnoxious little twat. I may have a booking for you

You're on shaky ground there

No point; he can't read