Mrs Roops

Can't say, I programmed the removal of 30+ non-productive/non-active accounts yesterday so all the IP and user agent data has gone down the ethereal plughole.

Oh, so you weren't genuinely enamoured? Shame, I was just about to PM you my Docklands apartment details. I thought you could show me your stab wound and I'll show you mine. Damn - where's Frank...

As far as we are aware, there are no sock puppets on site. Some accounts have gone and returned under a new name.

Sure...

You're becoming a borderline simp.

I wish, just a B cup

Only in your mind.

You're the one asking...

...forgot to mention that we've started on The Umbrella Academy.

No

...so my contact came back to me - apparently the .357 SIG is where the standard fit barrel is replaced with a smaller calibre barrel to facilitate the .357 SIG ammunition which is meant to improve the weapon's accuracy. The converted H&K USP Compact is the standard sidearm issue for the Spanish Military and Guardia Civil.

...and we've just finished season 2 - bit of a slow burner at first which tied up one loose end from season 1 and added a few interesting characters; a former neo-Nazi who took his born-again Christian fundamentalism to extreme ends and a psychiatrist with daddy issues. Most annoying award goes to the dumb as rocks NYPD detective.

Piers "Morgan" Moron had it made when he took over Larry King's prestigious CNN slot on primetime American TV. True to form he got Joe Public's back up and the show was canned. To be fair his opinions on gun control were sound but no one likes a foreigner pontificating on home turf. To this day, I still don't understand how he walked away unscathed from the Viglen share scandal but that's another story.

I have to say, I did have reservations about sharing this, for no other reason that it would inflame The Corner's diehard Soldier of Fortune readership as its an assault on their sense of machismo pride. They doubt 'cos they don't want to believe. I remember 'cos its the only working gun I've handled - it sorta sticks in the mind despite having a whole lot of feelings about not wanting to go. TBH, I was bricking it. I never said "bottleneck" 'cos I don't recall the term ever being mentioned. The exact details escape me (see above) but I'll drop a line to a contact whose credentials I trust. ...coming from a person whose career seems to mirror that of the Kray twins your statement is odd considering you are now reduced to xmas tree rustling.

Sorry, I'll get me coat.© © Camberwell gypsy

The security detail was a Spanish-owned outfit who operated exclusively in south and central America. They were contracted by a risk management consultancy who in turn were contracted by London brokers who arranged kidnap insurance on behalf of various Lloyds syndicates - a lot of people with fingers in the pie.

Nah, that's what you find when you undo your trouser fly...

I wouldn't swear on it but I think all weapons carried by the team were H&K.

Indeed, all two hours worth and no jungles either - it was all flat industrially-denuded oil fields with nodding pump jacks, hardly Laura Croft territory.

Flew directly to Maracaibo, which is the country's second city and where all the oil multinationals were based. Always very hot, humid and dusty in the absence of municipal cleansing.

This is pretty much what was explained to me. Venezuela had and still has a vibrant kidnapping reputation, however its essentially a cottage industry perpetrated by amateurs, most of whom would never resort to criminality in normal economic times. It was made clear that I was "the package" and would be worthless dead or even wounded for fear of bleeding out. Having a visible well-armed security detail was considered deterrent enough but there is no accounting for desperation. I was instructed never to draw my weapon, which was concealed, unless I was separated from my detail and under threat.

On the contrary, military hardware and toys are so passé. These days I rely on a much lighter and versatile weapon,

I spent two days at the security contractor's training school at Florida en route to Venezuela. Most of the time I was given instruction in the unlikely event of a "hostile contact" and the defensive actions of the security detail. Basically, my role was not to panic and follow commands, no matter how counter-intuitive they may appear. I was also allocated couple of hours climatization and practice on the weapon I was to be issued with, which as far as I can vaguely recall, was a Heckler & Koch USP compact which had a factory-fitted .357 SIG conversion.

On the subject of OTT, also watched Gangs of London - interesting premise (though The Long Good Friday with Bob Hoskins did it a lot better) ruined by the notion of ex-Danish special forces for hire could wander around the UK shooting up everything in sight. Top marks for the violence choreography in a shot gun to the face kinda way.

I've travelled to Venezuela several times with my husband who was born there - did all the sights, coastal regions and islands (though not Los Roques) the mountains and the rain forests including the Orinoco and of course, the Angel Falls at Canaima National Park. My last visit (alone) wasn't fun as the Chavez madness had gripped the country...