Cuntybaws

...and some fell on stony ground. You should start a thread about having sex with stuffed toys, Grumps, that never gets old.

I know a rhetorical question when I see one. And a cunt.

Just after Xmas you asked me to report back on the Kevin Bridges DVD some unoriginal cunt had presented me with. (This was on the Micky Flanagan thread for some reason, if memory serves.) Anyway, I finally watched it, and it's OK. He's sort of a cross between a more interesting Peter Kay and a less extremely offensive Frankie Boyle, which works marginally better than it sounds. In summary, watch it if it comes on the Comedy Channel but don't spend any actual money on it.

You're not just watching the same few bits over and over again, are you?

Knocked out of the Champions League twice in as many weeks - it couldn't have happened to a nastier bunch of poisonous Pope-loving terrorist wankers. Dry your eyes now, Rod Stewart, you cunt!

She might be more careful in future if you told her what the Rev does to "naughty girls"!

Hmm, thick as pigshit teenage girls, with low self-esteem and fuck all morals or sense. Combine this with the Northerners' biological imperative to seek out chips, and the only surprise is that anyone is surprised.

"Eat shit!" Bobby Sands' guard.

Post an irate comment on Twitter. They'll probably quote it, misspellings and all, on what passes for the BBC "News" bulletin these days. That's your moral compass now - the fucking Twittersphere.

Just imagine Gok and Frank "call me Kellie" Maloney going at it hammer and tongs. I don't even know if there's a name for that!

They're fucking comedians? If they're going up the Chuckle Brothers with a Dragon Dildo strap-on, they just went up in my estimation! Sadly I suspect you meant "fucking comediennes". I'm not normally one to insist on feminising nouns in today's equal opportunities world, but it's necessary in this case to underline the fact that lady comics are an abomination in the eyes of the Dark Lord.

Yep, fuck 'em all, the horse-faced cunts. Fuck Ewoks too.

“I've cut up the pictures of him, says Frank Maloney's devastated brother Eugene as he tells of his shock at sex change.” Fuck me, Eugene, that's no way to treat a lady!

I'd like to see him in “How to Look Good Vivisected”, the fucking freak!

Spanish Gold. It is only with hindsight that I regret not actually smoking it - it would have been better than some of the Lebanese shit I later wasted my money on.

You loathe his ovaries and his pubes? You fucking maniac!

There's only one bitch in that picture.

Your otherwise humourous interjection is founded on a false premise, as evidenced by your own citation. Hoist with your own petard - not unlike Robin Williams.

Hi Dee, hi! Now, get yourself a fucking avatar.

You're a classy bird, Pen!

It's £5 round my way, but you have to hold her chips for her until it's done.

"Barbed wire love snags my jeans..."

Second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Five Go Mad in Mumbai.

There is more than one way to skin a cat. The cat doesn't like any of them.