Cuntybaws

Sharknado! So bad it's good. No, just shitting you, it's fucking awful! The nadir of the genre.

Probably for the best. And If the dating website continues to introduce you to potential partners going by the name of "Big Dave" ask them for your money back!

How the fuck did we forget to include the Mitsubishi Colt? I've just been stuck behind one of these cunts for what felt like a geological epoch.

A woman, eh? Well, you believe whatever you like, and good luck to you!

That lion's dirty flirtatious eyes keep following me around the room. It's making it terribly difficult to finish my wank.

Ignoring for a moment the question of whether Israel is even a legitimate state, the biggest mistake of the post-WWII carve-up was locating it in the Middle East. It would have been much more appropriate to fence off a sizeable chunk of Germany and site it there.

Being Scottish, I'm not sure what these "Ashes" are. Can you inject them?

I'm sure Scotty will come for you. He'll probably even let you watch if you ask nicely.

One day every home will have one. Well, apart from mine, obviously, I'm not fucking stupid.

What, the same cunt every time?

You might as well let them out because the cunts are coming out anyway. Never play chicken with a cunt in a Datsun Sunny! What I can't work out is why any cunt that gets paid by the second is always in so much of a fucking hurry.

Yeah, usually when a thread goes Godwin from post 1 it's not long for the world.

Cyclists are a long-standing bugbear on here, albeit not quite in the same league as fat cunts, but those Dutch bastards are the very fucking acme of cycling cuntitude. Thank fuck I'm usually ripped off my tits when I'm there, which fortunately increases my tolerance to a point approaching "infinite".

Fucking hell, fame at last. Remember, though, be careful what you wish for - and under no circumstances mention Mary Beard.

He's got an honest face, though! And Urban Dictionary is very complimentary about his fine Essex name... http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=spivey

"Swarm" was completely the wrong word. He really meant "plague".

Dog food. Fucking dog food! Fucking freeze-dried fucking dog food! Fucking hell!

Liked while it lasts!

Which one are you? Out of interest, do the billions of self-centred and inconsiderate cyclists that throng your grachten pay much in the way of tax for that privilege? If so, you could probably afford to put a few Dutchmen (and probably all of them) on the fucking moon.

In an uncertain and relativistic universe there are few sounder moral guiding principles than "Do as you would be done to," This, in my book, makes every suggestion that involves introducing Mr Palmer to a bark stripper and some fire a perfectly legitimate one.

Call it a "positive feedback loop", a "death spiral", or "bad news for house prices" as you will. Either way, chicken, meet egg.

If a large number of tarts and junkies is a platform for fiscal stability and growth then Scotland had better hold another independence referendum sharpish. Fuck oil!

I'm an economic migrant which, by the converse of Pythagoras, means I'm an immigrant too. I only wish that was interesting.

Fucking hell, you must really hate Afghan weddings!

No sign of Apple changing the record. Still, could have been worse - it might have been Coldplay.