Cuntybaws

Hmm, shall I give my name, email address, penis size, and credit card details to an adultery website? Fuck it, what could possibly go wrong?

I hope the soulless Disney corporation sues these wanky little pseuds for every undeserved penny they've got!

Sweet fuck almighty, have you seen the state of Adrian Zmed and Heather Locklear these days? I don't fancy yours much.

It's seriously fucked up, true, but Leonard Nimoy doing "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins" makes Jazz's JibJabs look like... oh, I don't know, some sort of comparison between Rolf Harris and Rembrandt may be apposite.

Xmas just came early for you!

Judging by this picture of Masako Natsume, who played Tripitaka, I'd say the "cunt" part is not in any question! If this doesn't tempt Fender back out of retirement for some nunsploitation, I don't know what will.

She must have a fanny like a vintage golf bag.

Indeed. Mrs Baws won't even get out of the bath to take a shit!

Triskelion foreplay! We come in peace, shoot to kill.

This nomination is giving me the horn!

Indeed. I wish I'd never watched any of the digitally remastered original Star Trek episodes - supposedly conceived as a sort of "Wagon Train" to the stars, but what a load of old pony! Could Mr Sulu have been any camper? Now, if it's authentic American drama you're after I can heartily recommend "Banshee". Lots of lovable Injuns leavened with some quaint Amish people, and absolutely no gratuitous sex and violence at all.

The electronic park brake is the greatest invention since the deep fried Mars Bar.

lemonparty.org - it's the one in the central intersection of this Venn diagram.

I heard it was twinned with Srebrenica.

In the immortal words of Frankie Boyle, shagging Posh Spice must be like trying to separate two deck chairs with your cock.

The only problem? I take it you've never been to Moss Side?

A plan to rob Cilla's house during her funeral has been foiled. I guess the Plod in Buckinghamshire just don't have any respect for the old Scouse traditions.

You'll find numerous examples in these hallowed pages: fat cunt; soulless ginger; Welsh sheepshagger; Muslim paedophile; white supremacist. You should probably look up "false tautology" before deciding which of the above are valid.

Playboy put out a Braille edition in the '70s - a bit of a cruel jest on those rendered blind by excessive masturbation. Helen Keller was a cunt.

Thin ice, new cunt, thin ice!

I used to love it - just fucking love it - when thecatwoman went on a wine-fuelled posting marathon. Talk about playing all the right notes but not necessarily in the right order. The best bit was her shame the next day after she'd read it back, sober and hungover - a joy to behold.

I'll see your three words and raise you to Johnny Depp, Tonto. If The Lone Ranger isn't the worst interpretation of a TV series ever, I'll fuck Vanessa Paradis!

Special Brew is for cunts. Discerning tramps drink Tennent's Super Lager. I find this makes them more flammable. Coincidentally, being set on fire is the same fate that should be visited on any cunt stupid enough to pay the government more than a fiver every time they buy a packet of fags