Cuntybaws

You mean Bella Emberg?

Loving your punctuation work here. A feebler mind might have gone with an exclamation mark, but less is definitely more.

Wasted your cash again, JC. Eintracht Götterdämmerung are a fucking cert.

QED

Er, yes, good call Wiz, that's it exactly. Now, Who Moved My Cheese?

If you subtract the various contributions from the sheep, the chimp, and the Greek, and allow for the mass-deletion of Jib Jabs, there's only actually been 27 posts since 2014.

I'm surprised to see we haven't been regaled yet by Spunkchimp on the relative merits of the Ritz and the Savoy. He must be on a proper ban this time. I've always been more of a "pay by the hour" sort of chap myself.

"Sir" Terry was one of those professional Oirish cunts who couldn't get out of his native land fast enough. Once his gums were fastened around the BBC teat there was no prising him off. He must be fucking raging down in Catholic hell that Sean Connery has outlived him.

I cut the verbose cunt some slack just this once, as at least the post had the decency to be borderline literate and - most importantly - an avatar was duly present.

Why is it never Bruce Forsyth?

In fairness it's probably a very stressful occupation, manning a gay sex chat line. What you need is a team of crack HR professionals to set up an absence management policy. A confidential occupational health consultant wouldn't go amiss either - maybe even a masseur and a psychologist on call 24x7. Worth every fucking penny.

I read "The Nine Tailors" once. Once was more than enough. Lord Peter Wimsey was a cunt.

Well, fucking D'uh!

See, Mike? Rebel. Fucking Rebel!

I believe the children are our future. </platitude>

In fairness, "Wallander - the Musical" was a pretty hard act to follow.

At the risk of courting controversy, perhaps they should occasionally think about handing these gongs out to the cunts who were competent enough at their jobs NOT to catch the fucking disease they were supposed to be curing?

Yes, because real cats walk upright and talk all the fucking time. I'd teach the stupid bitch a lesson by fucking her doggy style, then spaying the cunt.

The Croydon catboy is in trouble now - the Twitter Z-listers are on the case! "Several celebrities have joined the hunt for the Croydon killer, with the likes of Dermot O'Leary and Caroline Flack retweeting Peta's reward to their followers on social media. The Vamps' lead guitarist, James McVey, has also offered free tour tickets to anyone who can help track the killer down."

It's better than the "swarm" metaphor they came out with last time. Even that didn't go nearly far enough. It is, quite literally, a plague of migrants. If they're not carrying Zika virus I'll eat Paddy Ashdown's hat.

You weren't here for the "Disabled Parking" thread, were you Luke? By fuck, those were the days. If every cunt isn't pretty much anti-everything, then I've missed the point of this site entirely. The inventive abuse and occasional surrealism are just the icing on the cake.

And I suppose you were thinking about all these "nice people" while you were with that slut?! Did you do it in our bed - well, DID YOU?

I think I see your problem, Quince. In the absence of any actual interaction or validation your fractured id has been forced to construct its own reality, one where its pathetic neediness is sublimated to the point where the superego genuinely believes that the mighty Lord Darkseid would stoop so low as to sully his eyes on your pathetic mortal frame. I'm a complex man when I'm on the El Dorado, Quince. God complex, Oedipus complex, you name it.

Fucking lightweight never even finished his breakfast!