Cuntybaws

A tableau so vivid it will be burned into my mind's eye for weeks. I'm sure I saw something similar once in an episode of "Dora The Explorer". Or maybe it was "Blue's Clues".

His details aren't hard to find online. I'm thinking a slightly more personal visit might be in order. Five posts in, not even close to the record.

You may be thinking of taquitos, Gyps. The topology is similar.

I'd imagine it's the well-pissed-in doorway of the Sandyford STD Clinic up the less salubrious end of Sauchiehall Street. Sleeping there has the added bonus of saving him a walk in the morning.

Just ignore the fucking philistines, they wouldn't know a tokamak if it was rammed up their fucking arses.

Mention of pets and Bubbles in the same thread leads me to wonder if there isn't more to the user name than meets the eye? I always reckoned the Trailer Park Boys reference was a ruse.

Some daft bitch where I worked made no secret of her plan to have a week's compassionate leave when her snuffling little bag-rat inevitably croaked. Armed with ample evidence of premeditation, said daft bitch got no pay that week, and a formal written warning to boot. I'd have shot the cunt personally, but for some reason they wouldn't let me contribute to HR policy.

Quite agree. I'd wear "Fuck the dull" on a T-shirt, with or without "Kill the poor" on the reverse.

Ding, to save time as we go along can you post a list of every single place you've ever been to, and the date(s) you were there? Make sure to also include any reasons why you're not counting some of them. That'll be riveting, thanks.

Riding to work? On your chopper? The prosecution rests.

Eighteen years to the day after Dermot Morgan died. Why is it never Graham Norton?

I did not know that. I did not know that Luxembourg even had any hills. Being part of "Benelux" I always figured it had the worst features of Belgium and The Netherlands combined, i.e. flat as fuck and full of paedophile serial killers.

Actually, Ding started it, breaking yet another rule by implying that old Spunky might be a big paedo. On a more important note, are you sure it wasn't a wombat, Decs?

Apparently it's a documentary format and he's going to play himself. I'm sure there's enough black in the Scouse gene pool to qualify it for a MOBO, though, if the soundtrack is any good.

As my old English teacher used to say, "There are no stupid questions." He soon changed his tune after a few days in a windowless cell on child molestation charges. "Why are you hitting yourself?" was just one of many such similarly themed questions.

Well, split my dick and call me Caitlyn! At least I had the good grace to leaven my hurtful comments with a smiley face. And after I stuck up for you the other day, too. Everyone else was saying you weren't fit to suck the spunk out of Tom Daley's arsehole, and I said that you were! Oh well, you can rest assured that should I ever have the good fortune to chance upon you on fire, I will not stop to piss on you.

It doesn't make you go blind if your butler does it for you. Oops, sorry, wrong ID. On a semi-related note, I've been waiting for someone to comment that audiobooks would be no use at all to Helen Keller as she was also deaf. Keep up, people!

Maybe – just maybe – there's a case for the occasional use of audiobooks by blind and fingerless children. Luckily I don't indulge in any pastimes likely to lead to blindness, but if my some terrible mischance I did lose my sight I'd make the fucking effort to learn Braille so I could read at my own pace, and not at a speed dictated by some plummy-voiced luvvie cunt eking out their hourly rate by reading as slowly as they can. Lazy fucking blind cunts!

In fact, make it a limerick, and there may even be a prize for the best one.

Indeed, And her name? Judge Lunt. Insert your own punchline here.

Bullseye? It's your fucking jap's eye you should be worried about now. The three unforgivable crimes on here are snitching, multi-quoting, and editing quotes, and you've just fucked that holy trinity right up the arse. Why not call Admin a fucking nonce now, and go out in a blaze of glory?

The Little Drummer Girl - I'd fuck her! I'll give The Secret Pilgrim a read. (Can't be arsed with audio books, they're a nomination in themselves one day.)

No, it's the parable of the sower, Likewise biblical, but I don't think there's a parrot in that one.

And some fell on stony ground...

Of course, it could all be a ploy worthy of George Smiley himself to trick Ding into breaching the sanctity of the confessional. Cunts from Norn Iron are rightly renowned for their low, inbred, reverse ferret cunning.