Cuntybaws

It probably goes without saying, but for the avoidance of doubt, Michael Barrymore is a cunt.

There's an entire football team of the cunts in Tanzania, Albinos United, formed to raise awareness of the tribulations albinos suffer in Africa. You know, bullying, harassment, name-calling, being hacked to death by machetes and set on fire, that sort of thing. They seem to be labouring under the misapprehension that dressing up in conspicuous strips and gathering together in a small field somehow makes them less of a target.

Frank, when in a hole, stop digging. Or, as in this case, when in a window seat, stop licking.

No need to limit ourselves ourselves to just one species. Punkape is fair game too.

It's time we had a break from all the casual racism on here, so here is the ultimate in colour blind cunting. African, Asian or European, it matters not, all colours and creeds can unite in their visceral loathing of these translucent pink-eyed bastards.

Fucking amateur didn't even attempt the old tried and tested defence of "I was just trying to make the poor unconscious woman moister so that the defibrillator could make a better contact." It would have been a good enough argument to incline Judge Thokozile Masipa to clemency.

I see one of the victims worked on the Harry Potter ride at Universal. Do you think he was a Hufflepuff?

Can a joke be carbon dated?

There appear to be an awful lot of gay Hispanics in Orlando. (Well, obviously about 50 less than there used to be, but still a fucking lot, pedants.) If only there was some sort of big fuck off wall to keep them out, I'd vote for the cunt who advocated that.

I could save these total cunts £4 on every subsequent trip by smashing their fucking kneecaps to smithereens. Then they could join the already massed ranks of those other queue jumping, time wasting bastards, the wheelchair users. Why the fuck should they be treated any differently anyway? They've already got somewhere to sit, the precious entitled cunts.

I fear that several of our more vocal posters may actually have been in Pulse when shit got sour. No-one has heard from Jacko yet, and I distinctly remember him saying he was thinking of a trip to Canada sometime in the Autumn. He's dodged a few bullets before, not least when he converted to Judaism just before the Glasgow bin lorry incident, but I fear his luck may have finally run out this time.

Just slip out the back, Jack...

There must be fifty ways to leave your lover.

Shit! Anyone heard from Jacko?

It was horrible, Gyps, just vile. I felt sick. Ding used ten exclamation marks on the "England fans chant 'Isis, where are you'" thread - fucking TEN!

Snatch - it's all gone quiet...?

The twofold mystery is why the UK insists on hanging on to it - and why the rest of Ireland wants it back in the first place.

I've pictured Ding as many things, but never Virgil Hilts.

Where do you stand on the "High Tea" versus "Afternoon Tea" debate?

I wouldn't; but only because shortbread is technically a cake, not a biscuit.

Ronaldo apart, I don't think I've ever hated a footballer quite as much as I hate that chimp-looking, sheep-shagging Welsh cunt Gareth Bale, with his mincing hand gestures and now that stupid fucking top knot. Christ, was the Alice band not gay enough, for fuck's sake? Does he think he's a fucking Samurai now?

Oh dear, it's the sandbox for you. On a related note, anyone who calls breakfast "brekkie" or "brekkers" is undoubtedly the sort of cunt who has soggy biscuits with it.

Yes, consider yourself warned. And keep an eye out for Bill - no particular reason. Fuck button flies! I made that mistake once, several decades ago, and once was enough. Perhaps like me you were subconsciously swayed by the Levis 501 adverts, in which the homophonically-named Nick Kamen pulled fit looking chicks in the launderette at will? Sadly, let me tell you, chicks don't really dig blokes whose legs smell of piss.

Not as good as it used to be.