Cuntybaws

I'm too sober for this lark, Same time Friday?

I'm not doing fucking squirrels, not again. If you can't do the time, don't do the crime.

PS Is that "Jean" as in "Jean Harlow, I'd fuck her, dead or not", or "Jean" as in "Jean-Claude, the rifle dropping French cunt"?

Facebook users just love the little games and challenges that the brain-damaged cunts circulate between themselves. In that spirit, here is a welcoming Cunts Corner puzzle-cum-IQ-test for you. I do hope you pass. Here goes... Arrange these words to form a well known Cunts Corner saying: "avatar a fucking get"

If you're ever asked to play in an exhibition match involving Wayne Rooney, John Terry, Ched Evans, and Adam Johnson, it would be highly advisable not to invite any of your womenfolk back to the after party.

"I told you I was ill", it says. No, wait, that was Spike Milligan.

The long standing local joke is that Totnes is twinned with Narnia. It is reputed to have a higher concentration of healers, channellers and psychics than anywhere else on Earth. I don't believe that personally, as there must almost certainly be somewhere in California with more of that sort of cunt. However, I am perfectly prepared to accept that not even San Francisco has more poofs per capita.

Tri-weekly. Try weekly. Try weakly. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

Full of spunk, most likely. Popper-fuelled bareback anal, eh? MPs must long for the good old days when all they had to worry about were duck houses and auto-erotic asphyxiation.

The manager of the Bhopal Gardens in Easterhouse checks over a delivery of Patak's latest "Glaswegian Strength Phaal Paste" to ensure he has ordered enough to last the weekend.

No, that sounds like little Kuntabaws all right. He's a lot less buoyant since I had all his redundant organs harvested for my immortality farm.

The fucking cunt! He has released a statement which says,“It is deeply disturbing a national newspaper should have paid individuals to act in this way.” They don't do irony these cunts, do they? By the way, did you know that the Indian-born cum guzzling man-slut is actually hiding behind a misleading moniker? His real first name is Nigel. With hindsight, all the signs were there.

Enough of the serious bollocks, what we're all gagging to know is how Billy Big-Dog got on at the races. Did you back any winners? Were Busted good? Did they do the theme from Thunderbirds? Did you cum?

As I said in my original reply to Rick - even if it wasn't entirely apparent that I was being serious - "Understood". I appreciate that the rules can't cover everything and that there will always be a need for interpretation. I might not always agree with that interpretation, but tough shit, eh?

There used to be, a long, long time ago. Good cunt-related names tend to recycle themselves.

Yes, I've noticed you hanging around on the periphery like some Ghost of Cunting Past. Not THE Mike Hunt, surely?

Keep 'em, mate, they're counts. Er, I mean, cunts.

Yes, she's a hatchet-faced talent vacuum, with more than a hint of the "smallpox/rickets" look that was so fashionable in the 19th century. I am astounded that she makes any money from singing as, judging by her live performances, she is completely unable to get near the correct notes, let alone hold them. It's almost as if there was some sort of machine used in the studio to make her recorded performances sound better.

I note that the opening paragraph of the CC Rules states "This site contains adult language and adult concepts. If you are offended by such content, or feel you may be offended by such content, then leave now." Even I might draw the line at BestGore on grounds of taste, but there is no explicit prohibition about linking to pictures on a mainstream news web site. Anyway enough of such ramblings. I'll leave you with another picture of someone who has yet to take in any Syrian refugees despite public promises. (It's probably best that they don't give this one any more kids to look after.) "Yes, I have two children left."

Aside from the obvious, the thing that will get him sacked is that he is Chairman of the Home Affairs Select Committee. whose responsibilities include vetting legislation on prostitution and drugs (also allegedly involved in Vaz's little party.) Vaz had voted against further criminalisation of both. the filthy, junkie, cocksucking cunt.

Understood. I won't post the picture of the live child in the ambulance either, although both images dominated the media, appearing in every newspaper and on every news bulletin day after day. I might do a knob joke later, if that's OK?

Thank your lucky stars that the Transatlantic fad for eating raw cookie dough never really took off over here. Death by dehydration is a serious risk in the mile-high cities of Colorado.

Drifting briefly back topicward, I do hope that some Oxford-bound state school pupils are reading this thread, It contains some excellent pointers for anyone thinking of joining the Oxford Union Debating Society, as well as raising some important issues about the rights (and lefts) of women.

Although the birth ratio of males is higher, in the UK today there are more females than males (ratio 0.98). Cases of polyorchidism are insignificant (less than 200 reported cases in the medical literature worldwide), so we can assume that the hypothetical average person in the UK has very slightly less than one testicle. The rest I leave as an exercise for the, er, student. Lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Fuck me, this is the gift that keeps on giving. Enjoy the gig, dude!