Cuntybaws

Perhaps the only decent thing the French ever did was to send those smelly fucking eco-cunts on the Rainbow Warrior to the bottom of the sea for a good wash.

Uncanny - if she'd added "You bellends!" she would be functionally indistinguishable from Cuntwad.

Heinz Knoke?

I'd give it a week tops before the bull dykes slaughter all the fags and declare an Amazon republic.

Ever since the Oxo family, advertisers have desperately been trying to replicate the long-running character model in the mistaken belief that anyone actually gets invested in such tedious cunts. Remember the Gold Blend couple? These Oak Furniture wankers would go straight in to my wood chipper - post-ironic, or what! Another set of cunts that need to terminated prematurely are the various abortions that populate the current Admiral Insurance adverts. They should be nailed into a Nissan Micra and dropped into a car crusher. Then set on fire.

#butted

In the imperative sentence "Shut up, Ding", "Ding" is the subject, and is being instructed - however futilely - to cease his havering. Had you written "Shut up Ding", "Ding" would more naturally be construed as the object, and the unknown subject would be our hypothetical assassin. Remind me never to ask you to feed a panda. Lynne Truss is a cunt.

I played with the mining in the early days, but don't have the processing power to make it viable these days. On the plus side. I had fuck all in Mt Gox when that got wiped out.

If only you hadn't included the comma someone might have interpreted this as a dark web contract for an assassination. I'll chip in a few Bitcoin if you think that might help.

There's a joke in there somewhere about licking its bollocks, but it's really not worth the effort.

There's nowhere left to hide, With lazy skin and ash tray eyes, A perforated pride.

As long as it's at sea level. First decent hill you come to and you're fucked.

He's just been arrested in Amsterdam on suspicion of murder. Still, innocent until proven guilty, eh, the fucking weirdo.

Because she's worth it.

Is this the cunt that dresses up as a little bear that says "fuck"? If so, totally not a cunt, that's the very pinnacle of cutting edge comedy. Well, cutting edge compared to Sarah fucking Millican anyway.

There's one of those cunts in London, the Hangar Lane Gyratory System, although it could more accurately be described as the Hangar Lane Completely Fucking Static System. Dougal and Florence are cunts.

I'm limited to an iPhone and shit-grade wifi for the next couple of weeks so you may just have to imagine I've posted a picture of Herbert's dog, Jesse. (Luke, you can Google it if you like ;-) If Frank had a dog... ETA: hey, it worked. I must be almost as computer literate as Ding.

Is that the same as a "semi"? Maybe in the Admiral Duncan...

Could be worse, you could be half Scottish, half Cornish.

Billy Bleach

A few years back I found myself in a pub that had once appeared on “Britain's Hardest Pubs” and every old cunt in there was still banging on about it five years later in the mistaken belief that this would somehow impress the stranger in their midst. It was like being in the Slaughtered Lamb out of “American Werewolf in London”, although thankfully without any Yorkshiremen. Not one of the cunts would have lasted five fucking minutes in the poshest pub in Glasgow either, let alone a Gorbals pillbox.

It makes a Jib Jab look positively avant-garde.

The ultimate cunts get a mini statement first, then - after much teeth sucking and hesitation - withdraw their tenner. Then the fucking wankers get ANOTHER mini statement so they can check that the withdrawal has been deducted correctly. I hate poor people, I mean, why don't they just use CashMyGold.com from the comfort of their bungalow, or sell a fucking kidney or something if they're that fucking worried.

It's all well and good when they're killing prostitutes with screwdrivers, but wiping out strippagrams is a step too far. We'd be better off if they just shot this cunt.

You sick fuck.