Cuntybaws

Don't go upsetting him, Bill, or we'll never get him back in his room.

Well, I don't know about any idiot, but you've certainly got their number!

Watch out Ratty, some witless cunt appears to have hacked your account and is making you look like a twat. The real Rat would have gone straight for the back door.

That's a bit defamatory but don't worry, apparently his lawyer's shit.

Catchy – a sort of SparkNotes for the Corner's hard-of-thinking contingent. You don't think it sounds too much like "Blue's Clues" though, do you? Applescruff's “tradesman days” are a metaphor for a bygone golden age, a Camelot of cunting, a lament for simpler and more chivalrous times lost. The overall effect is reminiscent of Holden Caulfield wondering where the ducks go to in winter, a touching glimpse of childlike hope shining through the subsequent years of depression. Next week, “Fender's clawhammers deconstructed”. Mark Kermode is a cunt.

I can't believe how many pages of this homosexual shit have sprung up while my attention was elsewhere. We might as well forget the traditional blue and rebrand the site with a fucking rainbow motif. I mean, each to their own and all, and Punkape's a cunt, yadda yadda yadda, but I think some people on here are maybe a little bit too relaxed when it comes to conceptualising some greasy lothario blowing their filthy muck all over their faces.

Twixt? You fucking maniac!

I'll wager you've been up a Munro or two.

Wouldn't you just love to fuck his wife while he watched?

Why in the name of blue holy fuck do advertisers think people will be duped into wanting their shitty fucking products if they employ a parade of uncoordinated spastics jiving around for no apparent reason? I can assure Bartle Bogle Hegarty and their ilk that the sight of that sag-titted witch Lorraine Kelly and her cadre of cunts twitching about in a range of clothing for fat old people is not going to improve sales - unless it's sales of anti-emetics. Nor do I believe that sad lonely housewives with less money than sense actually believe that logging on to an internet bingo site will turn their living room into a Bollywood party. The latest Terpsichorean abomination is an advert for the Happy Egg Company – fucking eggs! There are undoubtedly bigger and better things to worry about, but still, fuck these fucking cunts, fuck them all to death!

I think it's on the same recessive gene as late-onset homosexuality.

Retard. Oh dear, hoist by your own retard.

Timmy!

I'm going to stab you exactly 523 times, Swarm, you cunt. (523 is my "very angry" number.)

I haven't thought this through, have I?

Frankly I think they missed a trick by not committing to expand Heathrow AND Gatwick. What a post-Brexit statement of intent that would have been. To compensate for the environmental impact they could have bulldozed the whole of the West Midlands flat and planted a fuckload of trees instead.

I hope you're just playing devil's advocate here, Bill, otherwise folk might start to wonder if you were some sort of Zionist chutney ferret. I miss Londonm.

You didn't fall for that bollocks, surely? That was down to George Osborne's spell checker auto-correcting "Northern shithouse" in his maiden budget speech.

Did they write it in an attic? Rod Stewart is still a cunt.

We'll always have Totnes, Pen.

Second worst Pokémon ever.

Terence Conran is a cunt.

Pete Burns and Bobby Vee on the same day. Not quite "the day the music died", though, is it?

I don't know about you, but I wouldn't drink out of anything that had once looked like this. Spunky might, though, I suppose.

A complete cunt, dead or alive. A shame he will never now feature in one of Frank's videos - what a double act that would have been.