Cuntybaws

​This sobriquet cropped up a few times last summer, not least in the final post ever made on the old site i.e. "I have enjoyed watching you little soppy cunts having a cry after the last few posts I made. I've deleted a few members and had a nice laugh at your expense." No relation, I hope...?

​Only most?

​The original usage refers to a petrified rabbit, frozen uselessly in fear as the car or the fox bears down on it. There is no word in Lapine for "sheep", which just goes to show that rabbits are cleverer than humans.

​Totally fucking tharn!

Fucking Godot, the fucking cunt!

Suddenly, David Cameron's gaffe where he said he supported West Ham instead of Aston Villa makes a lot more sense. It's a fucking cunt's choice either way.

​That fat cunt and thin ice would be a winning combination.

​"The decision to abolish the counterpart was as a result of the government’s Red Tape Challenge consultation on road transportation. It also aligns to DVLA’s Strategic Plan which includes commitment to simplifying our services." Well, that's all right then! And if you think no cunt here knows fuck all, just wait until you try to hire a car in Europe or the U.S. https://www.gov.uk/government/news/driving-licence-changes

Actually, don't waste your time - it's a load of gash! https://vimeo.com/67556847

Poor old Keith gets banned for this sort of niche gonzo, you disgusting fucking hypocrite! PS Where's the link?

​"How do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilised!"

No, not Frank and Pen! Eastbourne couple George Kirby (103) and Doreen Luckie (91) will become the oldest newlyweds in the world when they get married in June, assuming the old cunts last another month which, judging by the picture, is by no means guaranteed. The filthy old fuckers have been living together for the last 27 years, so I don't imagine their viagra-fuelled wedding night will hold too many surprises.

​Where there's blame there's a claim!

​Ah, Dotty, a giant amongst pygmies! He'd never have beaten Alex Higgins in a knife fight, though.

It looks like the import of old topics into the archive failed every time it encountered a quotation mark. And I guess we're never getting the actual comments back now...

That's a pretty tall tree, Missus, and a mean looking cat! We're going to need danger money. And can we come back on Sunday, when it's double time?

Antonin Dvorak was a cunt.

​Sales of striped pyjamas are also down. Coincidence?

​The use of "homophone" was cunningly planned to see if he hates poofs as well. Pavlov was a cunt!

In Rat's absence I am compelled to point out on his behalf that at least the number of people with fading tats composed entirely of numbers is showing a year-on-year decline.

I like salted caramels, they're nice!

​If that homophone was actually intended, then brevity is indeed the soul of wit.

Its use of advanced stealth technology might cause certain sceptics to claim it was nonexistent but in fact it is simply invisible. Er, yes, invisible!​

​Quite possibly. If Pringles are carcinogenic, America is fucked!

Welcome back! Fuck trains - did I ever tell you I had a private jet?