Cuntybaws

The only thing worse than a clown is a mime. Especially a fucking French mime - they're the worst cunts of all.

If the Somalian cunt will take Quorn, he'll take fucking anything. It's not the first time the little shitstain has pulled out of an event either. Happy to take the lottery funding when it suits him, and the rest of the time Team GB can go get fucked.

​Now that's given me an idea. Mrs Baws had better not come home drunk tonight if she knows what's good for her!

​Want to bet?

You bunch of fucking Philistine ass-hats! Sitting there quaffing your warm flat bitter, and your gaylord Pimms, and your dishwater Earl Grey, and alleging that Irn Bru is disgusting? I nearly choked on my Lees Macaroon Bar, you racist fucking cunts!

​How could you tell it was her with the bag on her head?

A spokesman for Irn-Bru said: “We hope our fans enjoy our limited-edition bottles of Irn-Bru, celebrating well-loved Scottish names which mean a lot to us."

​He's been the eponymous star of at least 6 nominations (allowing for such variations as "Bliar" and various Irag references), easily beating his poisonous, hatchet-faced wife who's had a fair few of her own. Between the hideous pair of them they've racked up almost as many threads as "Harley Motorcycles" and "Jazz is a cunt".

​What are "miners"? I have good news for you, and bad news. On the plus side, you can get all the free porn you want now, and takeaway food is available 24x7. On the down side, our national borders are wide open, and there are fucking poofs everywhere!

How else are the inscrutable Chinese cunts supposed to track the Pornhub favourites of the imperialist running dogs of the West? The sex toy catalogues will start to arrive shortly.

On the other hand, using "spare" cash to trade up to a bigger house brings with it a bigger mortgage. When interest rates go up (and they will!) and the cunts from the bank come round to repossess it and your wife leaves you, you'll wish you had a nice fucking car to pull the birds. And to sleep in...

Three words. Bonnie Fucking Langford.

Whoopi Goldberg is a cunt.

Spencer is a cunt's name!

​Wouldn't it be hilarious if his wife was called Fanny?

​Merciless!

I was in Poland recently and those cunts are genuinely still looking over their shoulders, especially with it all kicking off in the Ukraine and mad dog Putin getting his dick out at every opportunity. It doesn't take much imagination to picture wave after wave of tanks rolling down their wide leafy boulevards.

​Fucking monkey's paw!

​She said she loves Portsmouth more than she loves you...?!

​He's fucking nailed it though, the little cunt, fair play!

Helz Belz! That may well be the stupidest fucking hat in the world!

​Could have sworn the cunt was white, but it's hard to tell under that hat.

​That's the nicest thing anyone's ever called Wayne Rooney.

The only airline "food" you'll ever need...

What fucking homosexuality is this? This is more anal than a Michael Barrymore pool party!​