Cuntybaws

No real need to. Just put the coordinates into the cruise missile's guidance system and let the electronics do the rest.

Surely that's the fucking chauffeur's job?

Dunno, they all look the same to me. Is this the thread for racist sausages?

I like Mexicans, but I hate scousers. Go figure.

Smoulder 'til you're smothering with ignorance and hate.

That stuff that comes out of a civet cat's arse is supposed to be the dogs bollocks, if you'll forgive me for mixing my metaphors.

No absinthe, no comment.

Decimus would be turning in his grave at this - if only he was dead.

If it wasn't for the fact that you must be online to post on here in the first place, I'd swear some of you cunts had never seen the internet before. Ever hear of Google?

The sentries report Zulus to the south west. Thousands of 'em.

In my old local you could buy potatoes, lay a bet, drop off your dry cleaning, and have minor wounds stitched - but you waited your turn while the drinkers got served or woe be-fucking-tide you.

Oh, right, so you've been watching Babestation on the fucking microwave then?

You bastard, I was going to say that!

You may be confusing your remote control with an anal vibrator, an easy mistake to make when changing the batteries in the dark.

If I bought a house next door to the Playboy Mansion you sure as fuck wouldn't hear me complaining, no matter how many busty, scantily-clad nymphomaniacs turned up at my door in the small hours to borrow a cup of sugar. That gives me another thinly veiled excuse to trot out one of my favourite jokes: Q. What do you get if you cross an Eton schoolboy with a polar bear? A. A polar bear.

^ Exactly fucking this, the mercenary, potato-faced, bog-trotting cunt. When he refused to wear the poppy, his rationale included this statement: "'I am not a war monger, or anti-British, or a terrorist or any of the accusations levelled at me in the past. I am a peaceful guy, I believe everyone should live side by side, whatever their religious or political beliefs which I respect and ask for people to respect mine in return.." Guess that was a load of fucking bollocks, then?

"Some birds are funny when they talk" - Frontier Psychiatrist

If falling over a lot and never getting laid qualifies as a legend, then there are a lot of fucking legends posting on here!

Strawberry Gashes! They never did a video for that one, though, so you'll have to settle for "My Cat".

He was a fucking cunt, eh? Nicking your girlfriends like that! If it's more than 3 months old, it belongs to the world.

That's the luvverley Queen Mum there, though, who was old enough to know better, even though the ravages of gin had not yet left her with a smile resembling the honky tonk piano keyboard in the Admiral Duncan. "Give me the child until it is seven", say the Jesuits...

Would it be TOO MUCH FUCKING TROUBLE to post said picture?

I only have one problem with breastfeeding women - they never wink back!

It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye!

I don't go to the cinema any more. There is absolutely no pleasure in it, and it is a near certainty I'll hurt some cunt badly one day.