Cuntybaws

I didn't know the Rev was a liberal. Fuck me, you learn something new every day!

People let their children anywhere near this cunt? Yes, indeed, only in fucking Norfolk...!

Going all the way back to Somalia must start to look like an attractive option after a few months in France. That's nine of the cunts killed this year so far trying to get out. I have a theory they're only trying to get to Dover so they have some decent cliffs to throw themselves off. Lemmings are cunts.

First they came for the Communists And I did not speak outBecause I was not a CommunistThen they came for the SocialistsAnd I did not speak outBecause I was not a SocialistThen they came for the trade unionistsAnd I did not speak outBecause I was not a trade unionistThen they came for the JewsAnd I did not speak outBecause I was not a JewThen they came for meAnd there was no one leftTo speak out for me.

And he's a dentist. (If there's a point there, you'll have to imagine it for yourselves.) Shame Moi's not still around.

I now understand why spin has dominated the bowling approach of teams from the Indian subcontinent. You see better punches thrown every weekend on girls' nights out in Clydebank.

A bit harsh on Frank there! Seriously, though, Gary fucking Barlow? Why does no-one ever go for Mark Owen?

I'll set them up, you knock them down.

What would you choose if offered the world's worst pasta or the world's best gnocchi? It's sort of the same as having to choose whether to fuck Susan Boyle or an elephant seal.

Do you want anchovies with that?

... said Chuck Berry.

Rolf Harris was in a few of these too, the freaky web-footed cunt! This one is my personal favourite. Sometimes there's just no point making things up.

Christa! Sob.

If you don't have mountains, deranged German co-pilots will have no choice but to aim for Yarmouth instead. (Actually, I think I just lost this one...)

What cunt grassed up Anne Frank then, eh? Waste of a perfectly good drum kit.

Shut the cunting fuck up about cunting fucking Norfolk. Get some fucking mountains, then we'll talk.

If you can't deep fry it and make it better, it isn't a food. Pizza is a food - pasta fucking isn't!

Fucking hell! The piss-drinking cunt will have saved a fortune by getting his Fosters straight from the source. You don't happen to know if there is a kebab shop next door to this establishment?

Do the pair of you have filthy lesbian threesomes with your other old mate, Helen Lederer? Just wondering... Her real name is Jenny Hargreaves. Some sick cunt must have told her that "Eclair" was funnier, and she fell for it. On which note, for the Scots out there, "Is that a doughnut, or a meringue?"

"I opened my eyes and - by jingo! I realised I'd married three of 'em."

I always get her confused with Janet Street-Porter. I have a recurring nightmare where they're both advancing on me naked and I only have one bullet!

This little number should see you right. http://www.flemingoutdoors.com/duke-15-off-set-jaw-bear-tr.html I doubt the authorities will look too kindly on its deployment, though; or the postman come to that. Bernard Goetz was a cunt.

I really don't know what to make of you sometimes Prof. It's hard to decide between Tagine and Shish Kebab.

I was avoiding the subject of Jazz, but now you've brought it up has anyone else noticed that all his posts and topics have been deleted? No? You mean all that clip art and Jib Jab shite was totally superfluous all along?

It's just fucking semantics for soft-minded liberals. "High density floor confinement" doesn't sound nearly so good. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2508173/16-000-free-range-chickens-crammed-shed-NEVER-daylight.html