Cuntybaws

Cyclists are a long-standing bugbear on here, albeit not quite in the same league as fat cunts, but those Dutch bastards are the very fucking acme of cycling cuntitude. Thank fuck I'm usually ripped off my tits when I'm there, which fortunately increases my tolerance to a point approaching "infinite".

Fucking hell, fame at last. Remember, though, be careful what you wish for - and under no circumstances mention Mary Beard.

He's got an honest face, though! And Urban Dictionary is very complimentary about his fine Essex name... http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=spivey

"Swarm" was completely the wrong word. He really meant "plague".

Dog food. Fucking dog food! Fucking freeze-dried fucking dog food! Fucking hell!

Liked while it lasts!

Which one are you? Out of interest, do the billions of self-centred and inconsiderate cyclists that throng your grachten pay much in the way of tax for that privilege? If so, you could probably afford to put a few Dutchmen (and probably all of them) on the fucking moon.

In an uncertain and relativistic universe there are few sounder moral guiding principles than "Do as you would be done to," This, in my book, makes every suggestion that involves introducing Mr Palmer to a bark stripper and some fire a perfectly legitimate one.

Call it a "positive feedback loop", a "death spiral", or "bad news for house prices" as you will. Either way, chicken, meet egg.

If a large number of tarts and junkies is a platform for fiscal stability and growth then Scotland had better hold another independence referendum sharpish. Fuck oil!

I'm an economic migrant which, by the converse of Pythagoras, means I'm an immigrant too. I only wish that was interesting.

Fucking hell, you must really hate Afghan weddings!

No sign of Apple changing the record. Still, could have been worse - it might have been Coldplay.

I believe I am sufficiently well versed in nuclear physics to state with absolute certainty that an air-bursting 1.2 megaton thermonuclear warhead would deal with them quite nicely.

I didn't know the Rev was a liberal. Fuck me, you learn something new every day!

People let their children anywhere near this cunt? Yes, indeed, only in fucking Norfolk...!

Going all the way back to Somalia must start to look like an attractive option after a few months in France. That's nine of the cunts killed this year so far trying to get out. I have a theory they're only trying to get to Dover so they have some decent cliffs to throw themselves off. Lemmings are cunts.

First they came for the Communists And I did not speak outBecause I was not a CommunistThen they came for the SocialistsAnd I did not speak outBecause I was not a SocialistThen they came for the trade unionistsAnd I did not speak outBecause I was not a trade unionistThen they came for the JewsAnd I did not speak outBecause I was not a JewThen they came for meAnd there was no one leftTo speak out for me.

And he's a dentist. (If there's a point there, you'll have to imagine it for yourselves.) Shame Moi's not still around.

I now understand why spin has dominated the bowling approach of teams from the Indian subcontinent. You see better punches thrown every weekend on girls' nights out in Clydebank.

A bit harsh on Frank there! Seriously, though, Gary fucking Barlow? Why does no-one ever go for Mark Owen?

I'll set them up, you knock them down.

What would you choose if offered the world's worst pasta or the world's best gnocchi? It's sort of the same as having to choose whether to fuck Susan Boyle or an elephant seal.

Do you want anchovies with that?

... said Chuck Berry.