Cuntybaws

Little did I think when I posted this mildly sarcastic riposte that it could possibly be interpreted as a serious comment. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. And kittens are cunts.

I know that moderation can be a bit "hands on" at times, but I struggle to see what actual value a balding Welshman with a banjo can add to this process.

Bowler hats. Laurel & Hardy, Charlie Chaplin, Adolf Hitler. I'm sure Ratty could have got there quicker.

Orange juice. Orange Order. Bowler hats. You're only ever three steps away from a Punkape fantasy comment.

At least he waited until they were cold enough.

Little did I think when I posted this mildly homophobic nomination that it would trigger a series of tangents on the north/south divide and gypsy stereotypes, with side-helpings of overt racism and sexism thrown in for good measure. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Not even close.

What sort of fucking cunt abuses his undeserved wealth and fame by fucking a 15-year old when he could easily have afforded three 5-year olds instead?

Dick Dastardly was a cunt!

If a load of trees ever need gnawed down and made into a lodge then this beaver-faced cunt should be the first port of call. What a fucking horror. Speaking of horror and beavers, if you ever find yourself with 80-odd minutes to spare and “Zombeavers” is on the telly, I strongly recommend you have 40 wanks instead of watching it.

Although not French beer, surely? A girl's got to have some standards!

Another fat, professional luvvie poof dead, and not before time. As the creator of “Coronation Street” he claimed to love strong northern women, an assertion that would carry more weight if he hadn't spent all his time fucking limp-wristed ferret trainers instead.

I especially liked the way that, as the proprietor of a fine online establishment, he spent half his time slagging off his customers, their taste, and their very nationalities. It was very fucking lucky that some semi-autistic savant didn't hack his customer database and forward samples of his cunt-laden invective to those very customers. Very lucky indeed.

I'm stealing that. Just telling you now so you aren't surprised when the SI binary multiplier prefixes are updated next year, and you notice that "peta" has been replaced.

A glitch in the Matrix.

Bravo, Ding, a valiant effort. It might even have been a contender for the top prize, but as it lacks both "fuck"s and "cunt"s it will have to be content with fighting it out for the Children's Choice award when MTV buy up the worldwide rights. Miley Cyrus is a cunt.

It's archaic/biblical, but it is a real word. In principle, though, I agree with you and I eschew it so as not to come across as a cunt.

There once was an artist named Jazz, Whose kid was a bit of a spaz, He put crayons up his botty, On a musical potty, And shit out a really fucking tedious series of Jibjabs. Fuck, getting that last line to scan really is harder than it looks!

Have you guessed what it is yet?

Do you take Bitcoin?

Bem, me fode!

It was looking like a winner there, Nockers, until the scansion went tits up at the end. The admirable desire to fit in one more "fuck" doesn't mean you can take that much liberty with the metre. Besides, who am I kidding, we all know that Mac Spunk's effort will come out on top, if only so I don't have to pay up to the now-deleted cunt.

It was either that or leave the kid alone while they popped out for tapas. Damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

My psychoanalyst says I mustn't dwell on that episode. It's one of my bail conditions.

Bubbles wins the coconut.