Cuntybaws

His last diary entry reads: "Malia was a good, safe choice. As predicted by Bunty Carruthers, Head of Geography, we haven't encountered a single polar bear yet."

They didn't spot the fucking plum because it was hidden behind the silver spoon. They should probably have picked up on the fractured skull and inability to talk, though. The Telegraph helpfully informs us that Archie "was a brother to older siblings Hector and Hugo, and to younger twin sisters, Kitty and Flora." Sadly, this is the risk the upper classes run when they won't restrict their birth rate voluntarily.

I don't want to worry you unduly, but that's not all that was on the fridge. Next time you post a video ask yourself first if it contains anything you wouldn't want someone armed with GCHQ-level enhancement software to see. Anyway, we all know you're really just trying to deflect attention away from the disproportionate bin. The sight of it has quite put Mrs Baws off her food.

You shoot me down but I won't fall. David Guetta is a cunt.

Think pink, Frank. I hope it's the 2014.

Shot by a hit man in a Dublin pub as part of a long-running drugs feud. Who says the Irish are stereotyped?

Scottish & Welsh benefits paid courtesy of the English taxpayer. Some people say the English are mugs for subsidising their wastrel Celtic neighbours but when you think about it it's a small price to pay to keep the AIDS-ridden cunts on the right side of their respective borders.

Staggering Gaul, surely?

Cunts that come into cinemas ten minutes after the film has started. Justifiable homicide.

There's a definite gap in the market for paramilitary bar mitzvahs.

As Einstein pointed out, everything is relative, but on a completely unrelated tangent has anyone noticed how much better it's been on here over the last 24 hours with a few notable absentees and a vast reduction in the volume of kneejerk shit-slinging?

Here's a snapshot of the funeral this week of “dissident Republican” Michael Barr in County Tyrone, where mourners don't seem to be trying too hard to dispel the allegation that he had links to terrorism. Surely there is no place today for this barbaric symbolism of a bygone age? I mean, for fuck's sake, what sort of primitive savage wears mirror shades in 2016?

Way back in 1953 Robert Heinlein published a short story called "If This Goes On - " satirising what might happen in the United States given "mass communications, applied psychology, and a hysterical populace". In it, America voted themselves into a fundamentalist religious dictatorship led by the "First Prophet", Nehemiah Scudder. And they said it could never happen...

You say that like it's a bad thing!

You couldn't make this shit up.

I'm not sure whether the "high class" quail component adequately balances out the scum class Scotching, but I'll bet Jamie could fit at least two dozen of these at once into his slack-jawed fat-tongued cake hole. http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/eggs-recipes/scotch-quail-eggs/

I'm sure he has the full support of the good people of Golders Green.

You'll have to narrow down those parameters for me Peanut. Neither of these were exactly isolated incidents.

I wonder what happened to (Mr) Roops?

Haribo Starmix, and Labradoodles.

Weird Al?

Ratty's been back "officially" a few times. He once lasted almost 5 minutes before the new-and-improved Admin banned him again. Rothers couldn't handle the new format, went on a petulant thread-necro spree, then vanished. I think Peacock committed suicide after watching too many depressing Scandi-dramas on the tellybox. Lady P swore off nominations, but still does a drive-by once in a blue moon. She's still as random as ever, the trainspotting old crone. The only other news is that Mrs Roops' PYN hardcore has been uncovered by some rather childish cunts who've only recently mastered basic Internet search functionality, and who apparently have never seen pubic hair before, let alone a tampon sticking out of someone's arse.

I'm tearing up with nostalgia now, this is quite like old times. If only Ratty was here.