Cuntybaws

More like a Lost Weekend, in a hotel in Amsterdam.

Crackerjack!

It's his thing, Ed. Cuntbreed, that is. not wearing Dawn French like a hat. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cuntbreed

You'll get 96 days in the cooler next time, you soppy motherfucker.

They don't make them like that any more. Thank fuck!

You can have my drink when you pry it from my cold dead fingers.

Tramp truffles.

Is that you, Officer Dribble?

The only "kids' event" I want to hear about is one with a poorly tethered bouncy castle in a force 8 gale. Charlie Chalk is a cunt.

Sounds like you've landed on your feet there, DB.

The Police and Crime Commissioner for Nottinghamshire is former Labour MP and social worker, Paddy Tipping. The highlight of his parliamentary career was chairing a committee on the Year 2000 computer “bug”. (Remember all those planes falling out of the sky and the collapse of civilisation? No, me neither.) He is also the vice-president of the Ramblers Association. Oh, and he's from Halifax which - if my recollection of grim northern geography is correct - is in Yorkshire. With half-hearted apologies to Ding, I would therefore humbly venture to suggest that the man is a cunt.

There's a real bitch fight developing over this between George Takei (original Sulu, gay since forever) and Zachary Quinto (new Spock, gay since it became fashionable) over who is the best gay. Or something like that. The condescending Pegg fuckwit (not gay, just looks gay) believes he is in the best position to judge. In fairness, I would actually agree with Pegg's rationale if he wasn't such a chinless, gormless twat.

Are you familiar with the Macc Lads' track, "Gordon's Revenge"?

We're from the Isle of Man.

It's a sign of the Apocalypse. Horses eating each other, a seven-headed dragon, and the sheep lying down amongst the wolves. I did wonder for a moment if it was a veiled dig at Alfie/Card for spurning her advances, but actual applied reasoning is just too unlikely.

Harsh.

"Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic."

I remember that spectacular display of ingratitude as if it happened yesterday. The Rev has just PM'd me to say that the McVey knickers for "I'm glad she's dead" were actually awarded to a late entry, "Mother Teresa - what a cunt." He neglects to mention that it was his own entry.

The fuck I will, not after failing to win a pair of Esther McVey's soiled knickers with my entries for your "I'm glad she's dead" competition. I was sure I'd sweep the board with The Queen Mother, Cilla Black, Victoria Wood, Princess Diana and Caroline Aherne, but not even the courtesy of a response.

Half-price sale on leeches this week.

Probably not - it's pretty full already.

Bill's been off line for three hours now. I fear he's gone down the K-hole.

There's value, and then there's value.

I heard there's a pill now that cures addiction. Fuck me, I wonder what two of them will do?