Cuntybaws

Has become? You must be (relatively) new here. I almost miss Ratty sometimes.

Cuntbags, I walked right into that one. I'm off now to toss my caber.

Take up curling 7's - a man's game, where you can put your brush to good use.

At least I'm not a ginger fucking cunt, though, that's got to count for something? Or a Hibs fan, like the Rev. You're not a Celtic fan I hope Steely? That would be most unfortunate.

I preferred Red Leb as a rule. Times were simpler then.

The cud-chewing fuckwit describes himself as a "West Brom fanatic" which is a dangerous admission to make with Eddie around. I reckon Adrian Chiles beats him in Cunt Top Trumps, but not by much.

Agnostics - a bunch of cunts that don't get nearly enough flak.

Admin, I would like to report a hate crime. This no good fucking sheep cunt obviously hates us, and I for one hate it right back on the grounds that it is a mentally disabled, ovine, LGBT freak that worships graven images of Spotto. I think that covers all the bases you mentioned earlier.

Words like "pickle" and "cripple" are hate crimes now, you ignorant cunts. You have to say "raspberry" instead.

Why do they call you Machete?

I saw that Quorn-guzzling cunt Mo Farah on the tellybox earlier. At least, I think it was him...

You have to be a lot more careful what you put in the post since the cost of DNA testing started to come down. Social media's the way forward now. You say Snapchat, I say speed wank.

For the avoidance of doubt, "thinkin" involves chemically-triggered electric potential shifts across the gaps between neural synapses. Sadly, you need more than one neuron for this to actually take place.

Those poor little fucking Tarquins and Jemimas, trapped in their fuckwit parents' cars for hour after hour in the blazing sun. You'd have to have a heart of stone to think about them without laughing.

Oh, I don't know. a bit of fucking politeness wouldn't go amiss around here sometimes. Love, Baws.

Your own grasp of reality seems fucking tenuous at best. Kids today wouldn't know proper knife culture if it stabbed them in the eye. There's nothing like a home-made effort knocked up from razor blades, lollipop sticks, matches and duct tape. This could be disassembled and disposed of after use in a matter of seconds, and its mostly harmless sub-components were unlikely to retain fingerprints. "What were the matches for?", you ask? These were spacers for a twin-bladed construction, used to deliver the infamous Glasgow "double stripe". The theory was that this made it much harder to stitch someone's face back together again afterwards. Jimmy Boyle was most definitely a cunt.

Johnny Garlic is pretending this is because of terrorism concerns, but it's basically a big "Fuck you" to Britain for daring to vote to leave Europe. There don't seem to be similar queues at any of France's other borders. The shape of things to come.

Not to worry, I hear they're looking to introduce a few new "hate crimes" and toughen up the sentencing for people who say mean things about each other. That should soon sort everything out.

Pen's a bag lady!

You know this isn't real, right?

Sounds like you're advocating an honour killing there, Bubs, but I can't see anything against it in the rules so it's probably OK.

I can sense a new Frank video coming on.

For the ultimate chromatic anachronism, what about Halle Berry in the Flintstones?

That would be #Nice.