Cuntybaws

For some reason this reminds me of the joke where the monkey sticks the cherry up its arse before eating it, following its earlier unfortunate ingestion of a cue ball.

I must confess that I am secretly quite jealous of these parkour cunts. It's not so much their athletic navigation of urban environments, impressive though that is, more the thought of how much better their sex lives must be.

Did you ever chance upon "Project Harpoon" which photoshopped fat cunts into thin cunts? The original Facebook page is long gone but this piss-take may give you a sense of just how much said fat cunts failed to appreciate this kind gesture. https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Project_Harpoon

In 2013, Mohamed Muktar Jama Farah urged Chancellor George Osborne to clamp down on global corporations that avoid paying taxes in poor countries in which they operate. Shortly afterwards, and with much less fanfare, the emaciated cunt applied to have his main place of residence changed to Portland, Oregon, “in order to better preserve his earnings after taxes”. Portland is where this all-British hero spends part of the year training under coach Alberto Salazar (an alleged drugs cheat, Your Honour.) I really hate the Quorn-scoffing fuck flake,

Ahmed (one of six Farah brothers in the UK) claims that his English tattoos and “swagger” are sure to see him singled out and killed if he is returned to Somalia. That, and doing the Mobot every two fucking minutes.

Will this do instead?

This is a trap, right?

I nominated them in your absence as it happens, a lone beacon of racial purity in the dark, rat-free night. Well, I say "lone" but I really mean apart from Eddie. And Manky, and Ding, and Snatch, and, well, quite a lot of cunts really.

Sadly, it also has Eskimos, who cowered in their snowy trenches throughout both world wars in a quite spectacular display of cowardice, er I mean Swiss-like neutrality.

This could just be a coincidence... ...or perhaps "Mr I haven't posted for almost 4 months" has been tapping away on the report button like a spastic Hector Salamanca?

If you substitute the word "Catholics" for "French" this sounds more like Punkape than Punkape does.

Fuck me, it's true. "Last visited 2 hours ago." He must have smelled a rat.

No fucking shit!

I don't know what's wrong with me today. I think there might be blood in my alcohol stream.

You're going to need one of these fucking beauties. Anyone else miss Judge? No, didn't think so.

If you'd said "Anything scotch is best bottled" I could have replied with a lame quip about Andy Murray.

What have Duncan's biscuits ever done to you? I suppose you favour posh English scones over Scottish shortbread, you big racist.

A sound scientific principle. The order in which certain liquids are combined can be of vital importance. If anyone doubts this try dribbling some water into an open container of fuming oil of vitriol. Make sure you don't miss anything by peering very closely as it hits the surface. Oh, and don't bother with safety glasses, they'll only get in the way of your observations.

As I suspected, and this helps explain your bile towards those who splurge their milk in first. There's something viscerally upsetting about the sight of a teabag, especially a pyramid teabag, slowly leaching out its foul brown contents into the surrounding liquid like a little hard turd that wouldn't flush left overnight at the bottom of the toilet bowl.

I've used a badger and a melon and a cat, an inflatable Linda Lovelace and a Davy Crockett hat...

The stench of fisting butter hangs heavy in the air.

You could have put slightly more effort into your "link", surely? www.punkape.com\playing-the-back-nine\lol

Colonel "Bat" Guano. On a completely unrelated "Bat" note...

Quite what Judey was doing on http://www.hope-of-israel.org/animalhomo.html in the first place is anyone's guess.

Yay, my likes re-spawned. I can't believe I just wasted one of them on this, mind you, but it would be churlish to take it back now.