Dwarves make me feel queasy at the best of times, what with them being lumpy, misshapen, stunted mutations and all. People joke a lot about “dwarf porn” but I would no more consider shagging one than I would a potato. (A turnip might have been a better analogy, but we should never miss an opportunity to remind Bill of his tuber-related folly.)
In fact, I think I can feel a new internet meme coming on: Dwarf or Potato?