Dyslexic cnut

3 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Five wanks and no shower.

Our beast in the school’s 1st XV, a prop (no surprise there) would wank all week, no bath or shower, and save his gorgonzola for ‘cheese wipes.’ A quick smear on one’s top lip would have you wretching an hour later. The Cunt was too big and violent to fight off but I always thought the winger never resisted with much gusto.

9 minutes ago, King Billy said:

I think Neil has a biscuit tin full of them under a floorboard in his kitchen. Keeping trophys is always how they get caught eventually.

Weren’t they torn hymens?

I see that this haggard Jock rip has now been locked up. Hopefully she’ll get sentenced to twelve months on a covid ward licking swabs.

46 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

How on Earth have I managed to survive the Corner for more than four years without your expertise to guide me, DC?

We've been here before, you insolent little Scouse shitweasel. Keep your big trap shut or your short existence here will undoubtedly become a little less enjoyable. Got it, newbie?

Beats me Wolfo...

4 minutes ago, King Billy said:

I’ve just had a vision of Geoff Capes sinking his gnashers into Flabbotts front arse and pulling her up the street with crowds of spectators throwing up in unison. Thanks.

🤮🤮🤮🤮

Ffs Bill....many fuckin thanks for this.

16 minutes ago, Joker said:

Can you imagine cuming on her face?

It’s got cumin layered all over it’s smacked-arse face. I believe McAlpine’s landed it’s make-up contract.

7 minutes ago, Fatty said:

I’ll support everyone if required with my small change, anyway I’m off to the Bahamas tomorrow so fuck the lot of you: Seyaa peasants 

Don’t count your chickens Wingnut. Bojo’s  about to curtail your travel plans to the shittest island chain in the Atlantic. 

Looks like we are now, officially economically bollocksed. These boys mean business now, many thanks Brexiteers. Where the fuck are we now expected to buy beer and bits for bikes? Fuck off & die slowly.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-55530721

Crankie promised it was ‘kicking myself harder than anyone’ after McMaskgate.

Time to step-up to its challenge CB? Target it’s epididymis.

48 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Never mind volte-face, can you imagine her cum-face?

‘Her?’ Says who?

I see Hairy Queen of Jocks has decided to change tack and as opposed to a ‘wait & see’ approach has gone early on her lockdown announcement for 5 million inbreds in her village. Whilst the gullible will see this as strong, decisive leadership the rest of the UK may see it as pure political posturing by a gargoyle that has been responsible for screwing up education, the economy, healthcare and infrastructure in Sweatysock Land solely due to it’s political myopia and incompetence. Keeping the cunts pissed and shouting ‘FREEEEDOM!’ just isn’t cutting the mustard anymore. It needs it’s bollocks kicking off imho.

10 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I'm disappointed you left out the part where Peter Hitchens originally tagged Pearson and shit stirred by bringing it to her attention.

The man went tittle-tattling with his outburst of faux outrage, despite supposedly being a last bastion of common sense and good old fashioned, thick-skinned British manliness.

A hypocritical wanker extraordinare, he moans on incessantly about the injustice of cancel culture and then goes snitching to teacher. This Pearson character is undoubtedly a cunt, but I can't quite summon the same amount of invective bile that I reserve for Hitchens. His dead brother was a smarmy, know it all cunt, too.

At least Hitch had talent. His brother is without doubt the runt of the litter who could never escape Christopher’s shadow. The man’s a cunt. Odd that he snuggles up to a tax-dodging bankrupt tart like Pearson. Kill ‘em all I say.

4 minutes ago, Eddie said:

yes I shot him. 

Shotgun, airgun or water-blaster?

1 minute ago, Eddie said:

Honestly, can't take a few days off without the jungle drums beating, however I am have been informed of Frank passing on new years day, which ironically being a bank holiday can now be celebrated every year! 

A sad loss. Was it quick?

1 hour ago, Eddie said:

I was never banged up, just took a few days out. 

Phew...etc.

The Vicious Rumour Squad at work again Eduardo.

On 02/01/2021 at 18:24, Eric Cuntman said:

Speaking of Dougal MaGuire, our little friend Harold has been Roopsed for 7 days. Do you think he'll get his shit together when he returns?

How long did @Eddieget? H has had it coming, the scattergun moron.

On 20/06/2019 at 00:07, Eric Cuntman said:

Good old Bernard. A genuinely funny cunt.

"heard the one about the Jewish Kamikaze?..... Crashed his plane into his brothers scrap yard"

I remember him on Mrs Merton who tried to humiliate him and failed miserably. She opened the floor to her geriatric audience and an old fella told a story about seeing Manning at his Embassy club in Manchester in the 80’s. He went on to say he’d missed the last bus home and was walking 8 miles, freezing in the rain when Bernard’s Roller pulled up and gave him a lift home to his doorstep. He ended by saying ‘your a wonderful kind and generous man and I’ll never forget that act of generosity.’ Cue a round of applause then Manning says, ‘you’re  very welcome son, and by the way...if you’d been a paki...you’d still be standing there!’

2 hours ago, Dawn Chorus said:

The other Willaston is a much better place .. World worm charming championships and a couple of good pubs.

Where’s Fatty’s drum? Narnia or Sandbanks?

26 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I was thinking the same about Bob Monkhouse. The only comedian that's made me laugh as much as Jerry Sadowitz has, but in a totally different way. Slick, fluent and not worth heckling.. 

"Holidays don't work out well for me. Four years ago, a fortnight in Portugal.. my wife gets pregnant. Two years ago, a week in Florida, she gets pregnant again! ... I think in future, I'll take her on holiday with me."

"People laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now."

 

Genius.

Agreed, a great talent and a nice gaff off Sandy Lane. My neighbour & friend was very close to him & his wife. He was leathered in ours on Xmas day and Eve and made the family’s announcement on Marsden’s death today. Huge shirtlifter however.

Eric Carmen wouldn’t be seen dead in Cape Verde.

38 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Fucking hell, I didn't know Gerry Marsden's dead. I saw him in Woolworths in Croydon back in the 80s. He was doing a concert at Fairfield Halls. I actually nearly tripped over him he was so small. 

Genuinely nice bloke. But now a dead cunt.

4 minutes ago, cuntspotter said:

Started well here lads. Several very good reasons for her “Cunt status” are offered at the top of the page but then all you seem to want to do is offer up descriptions of egregious sexual violence aimed at her. Just because she is now 18 doesn’t mean you have a green light to embark on this sort of stuff or that it is in any way ok. It’s lazy and gratuitous.

Amber ok Spots?

27 minutes ago, Neil said:

 

They’re handing knighthoods out for less Neil.

She’ll mellow after a bit of bottom-sausage.

2 hours ago, Cillian Murphy said:

Eric, will you not give it up...you are a liar. Its Ok to be on CuntsCorner and dream your life, dont lie, you will be found out, again

Anything particular you’d like engraving, Tommy? Would you like us to place your cap on the lid?