Sentencing the key to knife crime

[Eric Cuntman]

6 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

That was a profession that's died out, the door to door knife sharpening man.  I suppose all the bad publicity killed it.  

I’ve still got a pair of Norton Abrasives carborundum stones. They haven’t made a machine that works better.

[King Billy]

24 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I sometimes forget what an absolute fucking worm the man is, Aitch. I offer him my hand and he immediately bites it with his garlic stinking mouth.

Feel free to commence hostilities.

Just hearing the word ‘hostilities’ will have had Withers ordering his long suffering wife to get herself upstairs and put on the full ‘stockings, suspenders and peep hole bra’ welcome outfit. He’ll then push the chaise lounge over to the window and hunker down, furiously waving his already prepared white flag out the window for the duration . 

[Decimus]

10 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Just hearing the word ‘hostilities’ will have had Withers ordering his long suffering wife to get herself upstairs and put on the full ‘stockings, suspenders and peep hole bra’ welcome outfit. He’ll then push the chaise lounge over to the window and hunker down, furiously waving his already prepared white flag out the window for the duration . 

It's Trafalgar Day soon, Billy, a momentous occasion which marks the anniversary of yet another absolute fucking thrashing of the French by our boys.

The only theatre in which they've ever regularly been able to turn us over is the football field, and even then its been at the hands of a load of ex-colonial Africans with barely a native crapaud amongst them.

 

 

[Dyslexic cnut]

12 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Just hearing the word ‘hostilities’ will have had Withers ordering his long suffering wife to get herself upstairs and put on the full ‘stockings, suspenders and peep hole bra’ welcome outfit. He’ll then push the chaise lounge over to the window and hunker down, furiously waving his already prepared white flag out the window for the duration . 

Bill, I’m just back from a cruise on the Queen Anne (Princess Grill Suite.) We stopped off in that shithole country at Cherbourg. What a rat-infested, rancid hovel it is. What self-respecting Brit would up-stumps to live in such filth? Dog-shit everywhere (no offence to a certain wanker on here.) Even the Nazis surrendered it without so much as a scuffle.

De Gaulle was a cunt.

[ChildeHarold]

42 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I’ve still got a pair of Norton Abrasives carborundum stones. They haven’t made a machine that works better.

Exactly.  Do you remember the whetting stones for sharpening chisels?   Used to be in a wooden box and lid.  In fact, the local ironmongers/trade shop) which is a thing of the past) offered a sharpening servce for handsaws.  Now you pay a fortune for foreign made hand tools which are disposable.  They don't even sell flat head screws anymore in B&Q.   I had to laugh when a guy on the radio said he was a "carpenter" currently working on replacing roof rafters.   Yeah that's fucking proper carpentry, roigh woodwork.   I doubt wheyher any of these new houses they are building ever see a carpenter. 

[ChildeHarold]

5 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Bill, I’m just back from a cruise on the Queen Anne (Princess Grill Suite.) We stopped off in that shithole country at Cherbourg. What a rat-infested, rancid hovel it is. What self-respecting Brit would up-stumps to live in such filth? Dog-shit everywhere (no offence to a certain wanker on here.) Even the Nazis surrendered it without so much as a scuffle.

De Gaulle was a cunt.

Our country could have done with a British De Gaulle. 

[ChildeHarold]

58 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I sometimes forget what an absolute fucking worm the man is, Aitch. I offer him my hand and he immediately bites it with his garlic stinking mouth.

Feel free to commence hostilities.

I haven't let off steam for a long time and I sense a heavy load of abuse is getting ready to fucking drown him. 

[Dyslexic cnut]

6 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

Our country could have done with a British De Gaulle. 

What? A lanky, cowardly and duplicitous shithouse? Give me Churchill anyday you dense little fucktard.

[ChildeHarold]

6 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

What? A lanky, cowardly and duplicitous shithouse? Give me Churchill anyday you dense little fucktard.

I'm not disputing Churchill rightful place, all I'm saying look at the string of weaklings we've had running this country since the 50s.

[King Billy]

7 minutes ago, Decimus said:

It's Trafalgar Day soon, Billy, a momentous occasion which marks the anniversary of yet another absolute fucking thrashing of the French by our boys.

The only theatre in which they've ever regularly been able to turn us over is the football field, and even then its been at the hands of a load of ex-colonial Africans with barely a native crapaud amongst them.

 

 

Lord Horatio will no doubt be proudly gazing down (with his good eye) from aloft at Trafalgar Square on the latest monument to adorn the most visited tourist site in our capital city (Londonistan/formerly London). I of course refer to the stunning (and brave), biodegradable papier-mâché, commemorative sculpture of 500 South American victims of a newly made up atrocity (transgendercide), which Saddique Khan has deemed more worthy of public display  for the next four years than Queen Elizabeth 2, who’s claim to fame is nothing more than having been this country’s  longest ever reigning monarch.

’Kiss me Hardy’ or ‘Allah Ahkbar’? 

[King Billy]

41 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

De Gaulle was a cunt.

Didn’t he single-handedly defeat the Krauts and win WW2 from behind Winston’s sofa and then triumphantly return to a hero’s welcome in Paris, and then slagging off us Brits every day until he died?

Then again he was French.

[King Billy]

39 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

Our country could have done with a British De Gaulle. 

I really worry about your sanity sometimes (or lack of it tbh) H.

[Eric Cuntman]

55 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

Exactly.  Do you remember the whetting stones for sharpening chisels?   Used to be in a wooden box and lid.  In fact, the local ironmongers/trade shop) which is a thing of the past) offered a sharpening servce for handsaws.  Now you pay a fortune for foreign made hand tools which are disposable.  They don't even sell flat head screws anymore in B&Q.   I had to laugh when a guy on the radio said he was a "carpenter" currently working on replacing roof rafters.   Yeah that's fucking proper carpentry, roigh woodwork.   I doubt wheyher any of these new houses they are building ever see a carpenter. 

Those are the ones I’ve got. A graphite coloured coarse side and a terracotta coloured fine side. In the wooden boxes. You can either use them as whet stones by soaking them in water before you use them, or oil stones. But if you soak it in oil you can’t use it for water anymore. 

[Decimus]

37 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Didn’t he single-handedly defeat the Krauts and win WW2 from behind Winston’s sofa and then triumphantly return to a hero’s welcome in Paris, and then slagging off us Brits every day until he died?

Then again he was French.

Q: Charlemagne, William The Bastard, Napoleon, Eric Cantona, Michel Platinini and Zinedine Zidane.

All successful men, but what have they got in common?

A: None of them were ethnically French.

Lololololol.

[ChildeHarold]

42 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Those are the ones I’ve got. A graphite coloured coarse side and a terracotta coloured fine side. In the wooden boxes. You can either use them as whet stones by soaking them in water before you use them, or oil stones. But if you soak it in oil you can’t use it for water anymore. 

That's it exactly.   Every keen DIY selfer back in the day had at least one.  I have a few old school Stanley woodwork tools which I treasure, including a fold out Stanley rule. 

[ChildeHarold]

1 hour ago, King Billy said:

I really worry about your sanity sometimes (or lack of it tbh) H.

Thanks, I do too.   

[Dyslexic cnut]

1 hour ago, ChildeHarold said:

I'm not disputing Churchill rightful place, all I'm saying look at the string of weaklings we've had running this country since the 50s.

Aahh, I see, H. Now you’ve put it like that…kindly fuck off and die in a house fire.