and Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 18 hours ago, King Billy said: Flattery will get you everywhere. I should fuckin' hope so! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 16 hours ago, ChildeHarold said: I have really tried hard to patch things up with Billy, including tickets to the premiere of Popeye the Sailor (Will Smith) Leicester Square, followed by a candlelit dinner in Soho and a reckless life affirming midnight plunge into the man ponds of Hampstead Heath. All I got was "Fuck off." I'm running out of patience And. What shall I do? See above. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 17 hours ago, ChildeHarold said: You always bring the tone down don't you? Just telling it like it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 Temperature normal as far as I can tell. Number of angry, buzzy high-pitched bitey things flying around… not normal. We always had flies, but they were more reserved and English. These new flies are dirty little inconsiderate fucking little shitcunt flies. I bet they arrived with the asylum seekers, all tangled up in their filthy twangy clock spring hair. Once I have the ear of Lord Farage, (no coincidence that the next fuhrer chose to strike camp in my back yard) I shall discuss measures to remove or destroy the infestation of filthy disease spreading foreign parasites. And the insects they brought with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 28 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Temperature normal as far as I can tell. Number of angry, buzzy high-pitched bitey things flying around… not normal. We always had flies, but they were more reserved and English. These new flies are dirty little inconsiderate fucking little shitcunt flies. I bet they arrived with the asylum seekers, all tangled up in their filthy twangy clock spring hair. Once I have the ear of Lord Farage, (no coincidence that the next fuhrer chose to strike camp in my back yard) I shall discuss measures to remove or destroy the infestation of filthy disease spreading foreign parasites. And the insects they brought with them. I usually swat the fuckers with an old badminton racquet when they come near me. The snap as it hits them brings me satisfaction. Unfortunately the flies are too fucking fast Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 On 06/06/2024 at 09:26, ChildeHarold said: I was thinking that. When the pattern they want, i. e. month on month warming, doesn't happen, in the UK, they jump to somewhere else in the world where it has and proclaim this as evidence. May was 26% wetter than average (which didn't stop OfWat warning us of future water shortages by 2030 thus the water bills doubling well before then) which simply put in my mind is WET AND DAMP = COOL AND CHILLY It definitely doesn't mean warm. This May hasn't been warmer than usual in the UK. But the Met Office which is really leading the charge on this and feeding all the media outlets with its climate warming monthly alerts, says instead, it is GLOBAL warming. Jackie Mason got weather forecasters right when he said you're better off sticking your head out the window. Climate forecasting is just the conglomeration of unreliable weather forecasting. It's mostly bollocks. On the news earlier it said apparently we've had more floods this winter since records began (2007). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 9 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: I usually swat the fuckers with an old badminton racquet when they come near me. The snap as it hits them brings me satisfaction. Unfortunately the flies are too fucking fast I liked ‘feather tennis’ when I was at school. You could fuck around doing fancy shots because it moves four times slower than a ball. I walked across the recreation ground earlier. They’ve built a little square and filled it with gravel, so old people can play ‘Pertank’. Fucking piss easy game. Stand 12 feet away and lob a heavy ball onto gravel. Fucking french. Invent a game it’s impossible to not be good at. Gay cunts. Fuck off @Witheredscrote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said: I liked ‘feather tennis’ when I was at school. You could fuck around doing fancy shots because it moves four times slower than a ball. I walked across the recreation ground earlier. They’ve built a little square and filled it with gravel, so old people can play ‘Pertank’. Fucking piss easy game. Stand 12 feet away and lob a heavy ball onto gravel. Fucking french. Invent a game it’s impossible to not be good at. Gay cunts. Fuck off @Witheredscrote Old cunts wearing berets who, after every throw they shrug with their hands and say "hoheehohheehoh". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said: Number of angry, buzzy high-pitched bitey things flying around… not normal. If one of these cunts decides it wants your jam sandwich, don't argue with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 14 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: If one of these cunts decides it wants your jam sandwich, don't argue with it. That fucking cunt signs its own death certificate the minute it gets near me. Fuck that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 48 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: On the news earlier it said apparently we've had more floods this winter since records began (2007). Perhaps that's what's behind it.... seeking after exaggeration or hyper-facts. I notice some people's speech is really peppered with the word "perfect" when it clearly isn't perfect it's just OK and sometimes just shit. The weather is just another entertainment segment on TV and radio and is pretty meaningless so the meteorologists aspure to being taken seriously with all this climate clobber which frankly is more ridiculous and unreliable than the weather forecasting. The Met keeps referring to Copernicus which is just a piece of future space junk spinning round the earth 🌍 and has been dignified with the name of a famous scientist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 23 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: That fucking cunt signs its own death certificate the minute it gets near me. Fuck that. Fuck off Eric. You’re the type that hysterically runs around the beer garden, screaming coz a fuckin ladybird landed three feet away you gay Scoty-gobbling poof. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 Just now, Dyslexic cnut said: Fuck off Eric. You’re the type that hysterically runs around the beer garden, screaming coz a fuckin ladybird landed three feet away you gay Scoty-gobbling poof. I keep a wasp scorecard in summer. Splatted ones get taped to it as a warning to other ones. Like Mexicans putting heads on spikes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said: I keep a wasp scorecard in summer. Splatted ones get taped to it as a warning to other ones. Like Mexicans putting heads on spikes. My record…35 metre shot with my Webley Hurricane rifle that @Ape™️ sold me six months after I joined. I can pick which wasp eyelash I can hit. True. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 2 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said: My record…35 metre shot with my Webley Hurricane rifle that @Ape™️ sold me six months after I joined. I can pick which wasp eyelash I can hit. True. I did much the same thing with my Black Widow crossbow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said: I did much the same thing with my Black Widow crossbow. I’ll never forgive you pair of terrible cunts for that hook…way back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 1 minute ago, Cuntybaws said: Ah, didn't see that. Presumably it was moved there in case his distraught family (or their lawyers) were browsing Cunts Corner, and hadn't already made enough money through dodgy channels. @Last Cunt Standing has PM’d me. He’s apparently eloped with the Middleton bint…which explains everything. He’ll have no further input, going forward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miles Posted June 8 Report Share Posted June 8 9 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: If one of these cunts decides it wants your jam sandwich, don't argue with it. You can still swat or decapitate them .. they are much angrier than our native hornets (which are actually quite placid) .. I am also pretty sure that a dose of raid would not end happily for one of these cunts tbh if they destroy a few honeybee hives they will be doing the environment and our native wild bees a favour. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted June 8 Report Share Posted June 8 Sneak preview: "warmest June on record". It's already written for the media and BBC lapdogs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted June 8 Report Share Posted June 8 15 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: If one of these cunts decides it wants your jam sandwich, don't argue with it. I find a badminton racquet (Yonex) a very effective and fun way of dispatching flying cunts like this - if you get a good swipe at them in midair, they fall to the ground in pieces. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miles Posted June 8 Report Share Posted June 8 14 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: I did much the same thing with my Black Widow crossbow. Don't the police use a stinger to deal with them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted June 8 Report Share Posted June 8 19 minutes ago, Ape™️ said: I find a badminton racquet (Yonex) a very effective and fun way of dispatching flying cunts like this - if you get a good swipe at them in midair, they fall to the ground in pieces. Restring your badminton bat with cheese wire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted June 8 Report Share Posted June 8 On 06/06/2024 at 11:50, The Beast said: Although in Essex, usually the driest part of the country, the last 3 months have been wetter, cooler and duller than what one would usually experience. The best of the weather has been in Western Scotland, not uncommon for some lovely days from the South West jet stream. A lot of statistical gymnastics have occurred to demonstrate this claim. Statistically they are correct. Then look at the period of weather measurements they base this claim on. The headline is delivered to piss in your face and discombobulate you. So is the content. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted June 8 Report Share Posted June 8 17 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: That fucking cunt signs its own death certificate the minute it gets near me. Fuck that. That cunt signs my death certificate. I was in A/E due to a nip from a much smaller version. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted June 8 Report Share Posted June 8 26 minutes ago, White Cunt said: That cunt signs my death certificate. I was in A/E due to a nip from a much smaller version. I’m not allergic or even worried about stings, but I can’t stand things buzzing around me and trying to get in my ears or nostrils. I don’t mind bumble bees, just the angry aggressive little cunts that think they’re hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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