The mysterious disappearance of Kate Middleton

[Wolfie]

On 17/06/2024 at 21:54, scotty said:

Vicki Michelle. 😍😍

While I hope he's dead, and died painfully at the hands of a particularly violent fatwa, perhaps elc was making reference to the scorching little brunette 'Maria', played by Francesca Godshaw. Yvette was the favourite of most, of course, but Maria wasn't always given the credit she deserved. What a hottie.

And a half-hearted apology to @Last Cunt Standing for blatant thread derailment, which I'm sure he'lll make an allowance for.

 

[White Cunt]

On 24/07/2024 at 14:08, Last Cunt Standing said:

Amused to hear on the news this evening that dear Kate isn’t expected to make any more appearances until September at the earliest and will spend the summer at Anmer Hall, presumably recuperating after the exhaustion of sitting through the Wimbledon final. Hell of a rehabilitation the poor love is having. Almost tempting to wonder if we are being told the whole truth, no? Meanwhile the next item was the Royals getting an extra £45 Million a year from the Crown Estate.

In case there was any doubt; they’re laughing at you. 

I wonder whether they had gone full Diana on Kate.
The royals have numerous sanatoriums catering to the family’ issues, but it’s hard to say what the success rate is. Especially, for the rather recent additions with a high peon score.

[ChildeHarold]

2 hours ago, White Cunt said:

I wonder whether they had gone full Diana on Kate.
The royals have numerous sanatoriums catering to the family’ issues, but it’s hard to say what the success rate is. Especially, for the rather recent additions with a high peon score.

I always think of Python's Upper Class Twit of the Year games.  

[ChildeHarold]

20 hours ago, King Billy said:

There’s going to be a hell of a clear out in Buck House and ‘Windsor’ (for now) Castle‘ on day one when I oust these squatting fucking Windsors, and the House of Orange-Nassau once again reigns supreme, with myself installed as the rightful monarch… King Billy V. 
William 1 (or William the Conqueror as he’s nowadays referred to) was in the past more commonly known as ‘William the Bastard’. 
As that hypocorism has been historically assigned to him I’ll have to settle for my second choice and get used to ‘Billy the Cunt’®️.

Sausage fingers can fuck right off.

 

Would you allow me to paddle on your sea bed?   Plus the occasional piss in the sea?  By some arcane 1066 Domesday property right Charlie Boy owns all the seabed around Britain.  So he'll be taking rent off the off shore wind farms being planned by Labour.   

[King Billy]

3 hours ago, ChildeHarold said:

Charlie Boy owns all the seabed around Britain.

If I find out those aren’t sausages poking out of his cuffs, but Portavogie prawns or Scottish langoustines I’ll have the cunt locked up in the tower and personally remove them one by one with my Royal boltcutters.

[ChildeHarold]

2 hours ago, King Billy said:

If I find out those aren’t sausages poking out of his cuffs, but Portavogie prawns or Scottish langoustines I’ll have the cunt locked up in the tower and personally remove them one by one with my Royal boltcutters.

It's all in Camilla's name.  He's not stupid. 

Just genetically thick. 

I have a thick cock.  Plenty of girth but it's not orange.   There's definitely something green going on. 

[King Billy]

13 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

I have a thick cock. 

You’ve spelled ‘am’ wrong. 
Up your game H. I won’t tell you again.

[ChildeHarold]

7 minutes ago, King Billy said:

You’ve spelled ‘am’ wrong. 
Up your game H. I won’t tell you again.

You said that before. Up your game KB. 

 

[King Billy]

2 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

You said that before. Up your game KB. 

 

I’m the best on here.

[ChildeHarold]

7 minutes ago, King Billy said:

I’m the best on here.

I'm analysing that by flutiform infrared spectrometry, with my micro-photo spectrometer.  Do you mind taking a polygraph as well, after I wake you up tonight by shining powerful torches into your eyes?  

[Eric Cuntman]

On 26/07/2024 at 12:32, Wolfie said:

While I hope he's dead, and died painfully at the hands of a particularly violent fatwa, perhaps elc was making reference to the scorching little brunette 'Maria', played by Francesca Godshaw. Yvette was the favourite of most, of course, but Maria wasn't always given the credit she deserved. What a hottie.

And a half-hearted apology to @Last Cunt Standing for blatant thread derailment, which I'm sure he'lll make an allowance for.

 

Oh yes. Definitely the pick of the bunch. Remember that startled looking blonde midget with ‘Bride Of Frankenstein’ hair? 

[Last Cunt Standing]

12 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Oh yes. Definitely the pick of the bunch. Remember that startled looking blonde midget with ‘Bride Of Frankenstein’ hair? 

I saw Sue Hodge, who played Mimi, in the Newark branch of Curtis the Bakers (world class Jam tarts, if you’re ever up that way) shortly before I left the UK in 2018. The years had not been kind. It fair spoilt my afternoon. 

[Miles]

1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I saw Sue Hodge, who played Mimi, in the Newark branch of Curtis the Bakers (world class Jam tarts, if you’re ever up that way) shortly before I left the UK in 2018. The years had not been kind. It fair spoilt my afternoon. 

My memories of Newark are clouded by seeing a fat teen-aged girl in a miniskirt and clodhopper platform boots walk past chomping away at an apple the size of a big Bramley.

[Eric Cuntman]

3 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I saw Sue Hodge, who played Mimi, in the Newark branch of Curtis the Bakers (world class Jam tarts, if you’re ever up that way) shortly before I left the UK in 2018. The years had not been kind. It fair spoilt my afternoon. 

She wasn’t that appealing in her heyday.

[Last Cunt Standing]

11 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

She wasn’t that appealing in her heyday.

She had a heyday?

[Last Cunt Standing]

As Britain rips itself apart, standby for a reappearance soon from the dearly nearly-departed Duchess who’ll I expect take a break from her strenuous rounds of Kale smoothies and a junior Disprin, to put in an uplifting PA with Peggy Sue at some bleak provincial town in an appeal for calm. 

A nation vomits. 

[Last Cunt Standing]

For old times’ sake, I couldn’t leave without noting Dear Kate remains more or less retired from The Firm as we speed into September, save for the odd trip to the Tennis. She’s continuing her exhausting schedule with a little trip up to Balmoral, then presumably it’s back to gruelling weeks of Wheatgrass smoothies in front of Homes Under The Hammer. Meanwhile her husband’s diary consists of trips to Villa Park, counting his dosh over at Duchy Biscuits, and getting pegged till he squeals by Rose Hanbury in a Megan Markle mask. The UK media doffs its cap and the public empty their pockets in a flood of doe-eyed patriotism. 

They’re still laughing at you. 

[Eric Cuntman]

20 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

For old times’ sake, I couldn’t leave without noting Dear Kate remains more or less retired from The Firm as we speed into September, save for the odd trip to the Tennis. She’s continuing her exhausting schedule with a little trip up to Balmoral, then presumably it’s back to gruelling weeks of Wheatgrass smoothies in front of Homes Under The Hammer. Meanwhile her husband’s diary consists of trips to Villa Park, counting his dosh over at Duchy Biscuits, and getting pegged till he squeals by Rose Hanbury in a Megan Markle mask. The UK media doffs its cap and the public empty their pockets in a flood of doe-eyed patriotism. 

They’re still laughing at you. 

They’re all shit now that Liz & Phil are gone. Fuck knows what’s going on with that Rocky Dennis headed cunt William and his anorexic bint. None of them have any of Phil’s politically incorrect charisma or Lizzie’s unwavering dignity. They all seem to be trying to appear to be concerned about the spastics that pay for them. Fuck the lot of them. 
 Especially that half-breed ginger weakling and his airhead fucking skank of a wife.