The mysterious disappearance of Kate Middleton

[Dave Umbongo]

9 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

See the Open Corner you plagiarising pisshead cunt.

If it's all the same to you, I'll post here. Only irons and poofs post noms straight to the Open Corner. No offence, you poof.

[Dyslexic cnut]

3 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

If it's all the same to you, I'll post here. Only irons and poofs post noms straight to the Open Corner. No offence, you poof.

It’s not. I’d rather you didn’t post anywhere. Now fuck off, that Skydrol isn’t going to drink itself. lol.

[Last Cunt Standing]

10 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

Yes, given that they propped the fucking Queen up for pictures right until the end, even though her limbs were literally turning black, you'd think the least Kate could do would be to get her tits out for our brave lads.

They're probably in a specimen jar somewhere. (The tits, not the lads.)

Knowing how they love a bit of taxidermy in the officers mess, perhaps they could have her stuffed and hung over the bar at Chelsea Barracks for all the misty-eyed Irish Guards to moon over. 

There is of course a well-established precedent for The Princess of Wales being stuffed by a Guardsman. Only this time the chemo/lack of uterus/lack of a pulse will spare us another Ginger accident.

[Miles]

11 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Culture/kate-middleton-writes-apology-missing-trooping-colour-rehearsal/story?id=110951936

We are now at the “letters to the troops” stage of her elevation to sainthood. Puts me in mind of Rik Mayall and his Christmas card from “all the lads on The Ark Royal”. Makes me vomit.

I had a young nurse colleague once. Cervical cancer in her thirties. Hysterectomy and chemo. Back at work 4 weeks after her procedure and did half days through her chemo which my partners funded at full pay. Meanwhile we are expected to believe the Princess of Wales can’t wave from a balcony for twenty minutes. 

Horseshit. 167 and counting. 

One gets tired when one is a busy little princess.

[Miles]

2 hours ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Dr Moseley was all too quick to live by his mantra of 'just do one thing' it would seem he was to preoccupied with just doing the one thing of putting one foot in front of the other to even consider a second, and probably more important thing when walking on a cliff top, what fucking direction he was going before he wandered off the edge.

Heat exhaustion appears to have been the cause .. "Only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun".

[Dyslexic cnut]

1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Knowing how they love a bit of taxidermy in the officers mess, perhaps they could have her stuffed and hung over the bar at Chelsea Barracks for all the misty-eyed Irish Guards to moon over. 

There is of course a well-established precedent for The Princess of Wales being stuffed by a Guardsman. Only this time the chemo/lack of uterus/lack of a pulse will spare us another Ginger accident.

Honest question. You’re a lapsed medical ‘professional’ living in the vicinity of a barren, scorched hell-hole environment and have doubtless proffered much advice over the years regarding health and good living for a long life. Have you ever been tempted to dress up in black clothing, with a black umbrella, no phone or kit, at 1.15pm and go walkabout in area that you’re unfamiliar with? Give it a go…and no cheating by taking your Abo missus with you. Ya cunt ya. lol.

[Cuntybaws]

30 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Have you ever been tempted to dress up in black clothing, with a black umbrella, no phone or kit, at 1.15pm and go walkabout in area that you’re unfamiliar with? 

It's the sort of scenario that makes you begin to wonder how closely he was associated with Phillip Schofield.

[Last Cunt Standing]

43 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Honest question. You’re a lapsed medical ‘professional’ living in the vicinity of a barren, scorched hell-hole environment and have doubtless proffered much advice over the years regarding health and good living for a long life. Have you ever been tempted to dress up in black clothing, with a black umbrella, no phone or kit, at 1.15pm and go walkabout in area that you’re unfamiliar with? Give it a go…and no cheating by taking your Abo missus with you. Ya cunt ya. lol.

It’s winter here and I live in a well-populated area. I still don’t leave the house without a water bottle, phone, and a wide-brimmed hat. In the summer there are regular announcements on the telly telling the elderly (which they define as 55+) not to leave the house on foot between 10 and 3. So I don’t, I send my Nordic-looking wife who is a Government-approved whippersnapper. And it’s an offence to be stopped in your vehicle outside the metro area without 2L of water per person, because breakdown out there and you’re basically dead. 

My theory is that he had a tiff with the wife and marched off in the huff. We’ve all done it. 

[Miles]

9 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

It’s winter here and I live in a well-populated area. I still don’t leave the house without a water bottle, phone, and a wide-brimmed hat. In the summer there are regular announcements on the telly telling the elderly (which they define as 55+) not to leave the house on foot between 10 and 3. So I don’t, I send my Nordic-looking wife who is a Government-approved whippersnapper. And it’s an offence to be stopped in your vehicle outside the metro area without 2L of water per person, because breakdown out there and you’re basically dead. 

My theory is that he had a tiff with the wife and marched off in the huff. We’ve all done it. 

About 60 years ago in the village where I was brung up there was an old colonel who had spent a lot of time in hot countries. He said that it was a myth that these Latin farming types were idle because they did nothing in the middle of they day .. they simply did not work in the sun .. they would start the day as the sun came up and then around 11am they would stop for for about 4 hours and have a snooze somewhere in the shade then start work about 3pm to finish off what they had done in the morning.

[Dyslexic cnut]

12 minutes ago, Prints Harry said:

About 60 years ago in the village where I was brung up there was an old colonel who had spent a lot of time in hot countries. He said that it was a myth that these Latin farming types were idle because they did nothing in the middle of they day .. they simply did not work in the sun .. they would start the day as the sun came up and then around 11am they would stop for for about 4 hours and have a snooze somewhere in the shade then start work about 3pm to finish off what they had done in the morning.

Fucking fascinating.

[Dyslexic cnut]

36 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

It’s winter here and I live in a well-populated area. I still don’t leave the house without a water bottle, phone, and a wide-brimmed hat. In the summer there are regular announcements on the telly telling the elderly (which they define as 55+) not to leave the house on foot between 10 and 3. So I don’t, I send my Nordic-looking wife who is a Government-approved whippersnapper. And it’s an offence to be stopped in your vehicle outside the metro area without 2L of water per person, because breakdown out there and you’re basically dead. 

My theory is that he had a tiff with the wife and marched off in the huff. We’ve all done it. 

Reminds me of the time myself and another fine English gentleman companion got pulled over by an RCMP cunt and bollocked on the way up to Whistler in BC in winter. He wasn’t impressed with our winter survival kit consisting of velvet slippers, silk smoking jackets, cheroots and an ivory-handled cake-slice. Humourless colonial cunt. True story.

[Miles]

6 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Fucking fascinating.

I am glad that you found it interesting .. tbh it is not really interesting at all .. the myth of idleness is more entertaining .. it perhaps explains part of why the Italians and Spanish can produce more and better cars than we can and why the Germans and French tend to use Turkish and North Africans to do the easier and physical tasks.

[Dyslexic cnut]

17 minutes ago, Prints Harry said:

I am glad that you found it interesting .. tbh it is not really interesting at all .. the myth of idleness is more entertaining .. it perhaps explains part of why the Italians and Spanish can produce more and better cars than we can and why the Germans and French tend to use Turkish and North Africans to do the easier and physical tasks.

 Very informative indeed. Also…fuck off.

[Last Cunt Standing]

2 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Reminds me of the time myself and another fine English gentleman companion got pulled over by an RCMP cunt and bollocked on the way up to Whistler in BC in winter. He wasn’t impressed with our winter survival kit consisting of velvet slippers, silk smoking jackets, cheroots and an ivory-handled cake-slice. Humourless colonial cunt. True story.

It was the ivory handle, wasn’t it? Breach of CITES regulations and that’s definitely worth a month in an Alberta Prison Choir singing I’m a Lumberjack and I’m All Right until your lungs bleed. Otherwise I doubt they’d be interested, and would most probably pack you off back in the Daewoo Matiz, deflating your tyres whilst dousing you both in bear pheromones and Maple Syrup. Hence their formidable reputation for always getting their man. 

If it’s fury you want, try the inevitably-bearded leader of the Keswick Mountain Rescue, slagging off Jasmin and Taylah for tackling Scaffel Pike in six inch stilettos and a boob tube. In January. Without any Kendal Mint Cake. 

[Dyslexic cnut]

9 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

It was the ivory handle, wasn’t it? Breach of CITES regulations and that’s definitely worth a month in an Alberta Prison Choir singing I’m a Lumberjack and I’m All Right until your lungs bleed. Otherwise I doubt they’d be interested, and would most probably pack you off back in the Daewoo Matiz, deflating your tyres whilst dousing you both in bear pheromones and Maple Syrup. Hence their formidable reputation for always getting their man. 

If it’s fury you want, try the inevitably-bearded leader of the Keswick Mountain Rescue, slagging off Jasmin and Taylah for tackling Scaffel Pike in six inch stilettos and a boob tube. In January. Without any Kendal Mint Cake. 

Should a failed medical practitioner suddenly step into the newly available and lucrative health podcast slot, resplendent with a half-Aussie accent and bluebottle encrusted spouse…don’t think I won’t out your work on here to the media. Probably.

[Frank]

2 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Reminds me of the time myself and another fine English gentleman companion got pulled over by an RCMP cunt and bollocked on the way up to Whistler in BC in winter. He wasn’t impressed with our winter survival kit consisting of velvet slippers, silk smoking jackets, cheroots and an ivory-handled cake-slice. Humourless colonial cunt. True story.

It might well be true, but some stories are best left untold. Dizzy fuckwit. 

[Dyslexic cnut]

15 minutes ago, Frank said:

It might well be true, but some stories are best left untold. Dizzy fuckwit. 

Francisco…sometimes I lie.

[Miles]

3 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

 Very informative indeed. Also…fuck off.

@Frank is (and always will be) the best on here.

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

On 08/06/2024 at 12:45, White Cunt said:

1. What is a “royalist”, Ras? Do you shine their shoes? I was under impression that since black slavery was replaced with coal-based white slavery, they had no more use for the likes of you.

2. So what are you going to do about it? (Become less tolerant of them), scratch their gates?
 

Just don’t go around pool cleaning…
 

 

I thought you were dead.

[ChildeHarold]

3 hours ago, Prints Harry said:

@Frank is (and always will be) the best on here.

Frank doesn't use four letter words.  Frank is a gentleman. 

[Ape™️]

19 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

Frank doesn't use four letter words.  Frank is a gentleman. 

Frank’s a cunt. If you think otherwise, then you’re a cunt too. Having said that, you’re a cunt either way. Stupid cunt.

lol Lol LOL etc. Fuck off etc.

 

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

4 hours ago, Prints Harry said:

@Frank is (and always will be) the best on here.

Shut up you cunt.

[ChildeHarold]

Just now, Ape™️ said:

Frank’s a cunt. If you think otherwise, then you’re a cunt too. Having said that, you’re a cunt either way. Stupid cunt.

lol Lol LOL etc. Fuck off etc.

 

Now, the week hasn't started yet (unless you're one of those calender cunts who start the week on Sunday) and you are already caricaturing yourself to get a few cheap laughs.  Are you going away this year?   I'm reconnecting with some old friends from my backpacking days we' ve planned a few days touring the best that hostel world has to offer.   It will be strange going back without the drugs.  

[ChildeHarold]

7 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Shut up you cunt.

A classic Kenneth Cranham one liner. 

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

14 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

A classic Kenneth Cranham one liner. 

What have you been up to lately then, Harold? I was in Westminster yesterday, near Big Ben... Full of shifty pikey cunts by the bridge, walking up and down on the make. I headed towards Westminster Abbey and the Palestine protest was going on... Too busy, I went home. Didn't you say you live in Westminster? I ask because there was some chatterbox cunt in a Che Guevara beret, wandering around, in his own world typing away on his phone on a website that looked similar to this one. Was it you? 

I saw Kenneth near Notting Hill Gate years ago, I like him as an actor, very good in Layer Cake... However the cunt had a massive beer belly and looked fucked, about keel over. Is he dead?