The Inexorable Rise of Foot Fetishism

[Wolfie]

On 26/11/2022 at 22:27, Last Cunt Standing said:

Our latest houseguest/refugee from the old Country is a long-standing friend of Mrs LCS, who works as a relationship counsellor and psychosexual researcher in the SE of England. We had a fascinating discussion over dinner last night about what she’s noticed in her work these past few years. British men, it seems, are becoming increasingly perverted in their bedroom demands, often later in life after 25 years of fairly vanilla existence with their wives. The wives it seems, don’t know what to make of it, and are conflicted between accommodating these requests, which then leads to a loss of respect, and then attraction, or refusing the requests and then becoming anxious these kinks are repressed or acted out with others, including sex workers, who by the sounds of it are plying their trade every few hundred yards.

Among the rising tide of pegging, cross dressing, CosPlay, and BDSM, is a definite spike in foot fetishism among middle aged UK men. Apparently it’s a weekly phenomenon now in her therapy sessions that men, and word of caution, these are obviously not a representative sample of all UK men, given they are largely SE professionals in higher income brackets, are suddenly being discovered to be frequent users of foot porn sites, amassing female shoe collections, and being caught drooling over young women in Birkenstocks. 

It seems porn is getting the blame in the sex therapy community for this phenomenon, but I’m not happy with that explanation, which seems quite superficial. I’ve seen too many diabetic ulcers, corns, and tinea pedis for feet to be remotely appealing to me, but clearly many of my peers feel differently. The psychologist will say it’s all about their mothers and what the male infant sees at eye level, but that seems like Freudian guff to me. My conclusion is these blokes are being deliberate Cunts as a cowardly way to divorce and get a younger model. I wonder what The Corner makes of it. 

@Mrs Roops, you seem like you know everything. No doubt you’ve experienced a foot fetishist or two in your years as a lion tamer in Morocco, or underwater juggler in Fiji. What say you?

Sure. I suspect Roops is actually a metaphor for your wife, you filthy little cunt. Why else invite her into your fantasy?

I sincerely hope your latest "British houseguests" escaping the UK to seek refuge in the most isolated city in the Western world (they must be queueing up, lol) leave even more spunk & fanny stains on your overworked futon.     

You self-aggrandising bullshitting fucking prick. I hope the unconcealed pain of leaving the UK forever behind continues to loom strong. Wanker.

[Eric Cuntman]

1 hour ago, Wolfie said:

Sure. I suspect Roops is actually a metaphor for your wife, you filthy little cunt. Why else invite her into your fantasy?

I sincerely hope your latest "British houseguests" escaping the UK to seek refuge in the most isolated city in the Western world (they must be queueing up, lol) leave even more spunk & fanny stains on your overworked futon.     

You self-aggrandising bullshitting fucking prick. I hope the unconcealed pain of leaving the UK forever behind continues to loom strong. Wanker.

My Columbo-esque instincts and powers of deduction, are leading me to suspect that yourself and LCS don’t really like each other. The politeness and false mutual respect isn’t fooling me. 

[Eddie]

2 hours ago, Wolfie said:

Sure. I suspect Roops is actually a metaphor for your wife, you filthy little cunt. Why else invite her into your fantasy?

I sincerely hope your latest "British houseguests" escaping the UK to seek refuge in the most isolated city in the Western world (they must be queueing up, lol) leave even more spunk & fanny stains on your overworked futon.     

You self-aggrandising bullshitting fucking prick. I hope the unconcealed pain of leaving the UK forever behind continues to loom strong. Wanker.

He stinks of buyers regret….

[Last Cunt Standing]

5 hours ago, Wolfie said:

Sure. I suspect Roops is actually a metaphor for your wife, you filthy little cunt. Why else invite her into your fantasy?

I sincerely hope your latest "British houseguests" escaping the UK to seek refuge in the most isolated city in the Western world (they must be queueing up, lol) leave even more spunk & fanny stains on your overworked futon.     

You self-aggrandising bullshitting fucking prick. I hope the unconcealed pain of leaving the UK forever behind continues to loom strong. Wanker.

Leaving aside your unwarranted reference to Mrs LCS, which I thought was verboten, your continued obsession with me is getting frankly embarrassing these days. I suppose the concept of friends might be difficult for you, but given that we spent almost 2 years in isolation while your beloved Government made such a success of things, it shouldn’t stretch even your puddled imagination too far to think we might have a run of friends calling in on us as they come over for some much missed Winter sun. Perth being the only Australian city connected to the UK by direct flight, we are a natural stopover for those we invite. 

The old chestnut about me pining for the UK gets trotted out again. I’m tired of giving the same answer. Some things I miss. Many I don’t. It’s called nuance, you fucking dullard. Small-minded wankers like you are definitely in the latter category. My trip back in May was enough. 

This futon you keep referencing. Is it yours? I don’t own one. I have these things called spare bedrooms. You might have a glance in the estate agents window next time you’re popping down The Dog and Duck to bore the regulars. I’m sure they have estate agents in this West Country idyll you inhabit, no? Or is it all Polish Delis and Charity shops these days? 

It’s a shame my little nom on foot fetishism has irked you once again, but then it is perhaps predictable. You’re far more into paws, aren’t you?

Now fuck off and don’t bother me again until you’ve finally counted how many sphincters you have, including the one you continue to talk through. Cunt. 

[Last Cunt Standing]

2 hours ago, Eddie said:

He stinks of buyers regret….

Baseless, of course. But I’m sure it makes you feel better. 

[Eddie]

16 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Baseless, of course. But I’m sure it makes you feel better. 

Harping on negatively about the uk at every opportunity, like a woman scored…

[cuntspotter]

Vultures claws with varicose veins. Not terribly sexy.

[Eric Cuntman]

23 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

 

 You’re far more into paws, aren’t you?

Now fuck off and don’t bother me again until you’ve finally counted how many sphincters you have, including the one you continue to talk through. Cunt. 

You know fuck all about about alpaca’s for an educated cunt.

[Last Cunt Standing]

15 minutes ago, Eddie said:

Harping on negatively about the uk at every opportunity, like a woman scored…

You’d better not let Wolfie hear you talking like that. 

[Last Cunt Standing]

13 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

You know fuck all about about alpaca’s for an educated cunt.

Point taken. (Wolfie would take issue with the apostrophe, btw). 

[Eric Cuntman]

17 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Point taken. (Wolfie would take issue with the apostrophe, btw). 

Errrm… it was a contraction of ‘alpacas toes’.. 😏

[Wolfie]

On 02/12/2022 at 22:39, Last Cunt Standing said:

ZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZzZzZzzzzzz...

This futon you keep referencing. Is it yours? I don’t own one. I have these things called spare bedrooms. You might have a glance in the estate agents window next time you’re popping down The Dog and Duck to bore the regulars. I’m sure they have estate agents in this West Country idyll you inhabit, no? Or is it all Polish Delis and Charity shops these days? 

It’s a shame my little nom on foot fetishism has irked you once again, but then it is perhaps predictable. You’re far more into paws, aren’t you?

Now fuck off and don’t bother me again until you’ve finally counted how many sphincters you have, including the one you continue to talk through. Cunt. 

But...

On 02/11/2022 at 22:36, Last Cunt Standing said:

My house is currently fuller than RAF Manston, as every rellie and hanger-on from the UK seems to have picked the start of November for holiday time. A sizeable proportion of them have spent a good deal of time telling me they wish they didn’t have to go back, and asking if I think anyone would notice if they just joined the caravan of grey nomads circling this island for a year or two. I like to torture them with an hour of Sky News UK over breakfast. A couple of 50-something NHS friends, currently on a futon in my dining room, have decided that they’ve finally had enough, have put their house in Oxford on the market and are buying a catamaran in the Whitsundays. Didn’t know they had it in them. 

Interesting times. 

And now you're going to bullshit everyone by telling us you "don't own one" because your friends went out and bought one when they arrived in Oz, which found a temporary home in your dining room. Lol. Or that they never actually came to stay at all, and you completely forgot the futon reference.

Idiot.

[Eric Cuntman]

37 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

But...

And now you're going to bullshit everyone by telling us "you don't own one" because your friends went out and bought one when they arrived in Oz, which found a temporary home in your dining room. Lol. Or that they never actually came to stay at all, and you completely forgot the futon reference.

Idiot.

Cold.

[Decimus]

1 hour ago, Wolfie said:

But...

And now you're going to bullshit everyone by telling us "you don't own one" because your friends went out and bought one when they arrived in Oz, which found a temporary home in your dining room. Lol. Or that they never actually came to stay at all, and you completely forgot the futon reference.

Idiot.

Doc?

[Last Cunt Standing]

3 hours ago, Wolfie said:

But...

And now you're going to bullshit everyone by telling us "you don't own one" because your friends went out and bought one when they arrived in Oz, which found a temporary home in your dining room. Lol. Or that they never actually came to stay at all, and you completely forgot the futon reference.

Idiot.

I haven’t the time or the inclination to indulge this bollocks. Rather than crawl over my previous posts looking for a gotcha contradiction or a missing apostrophe, get out in to the world and make some friends, for fucks’ sake. Excluding Mrs LCS and I, I had fourteen people in my house in late October and November, which exceeded our bed capacity. Alternate solutions were found. My neighbours were very helpful. 

Now go fuck yourself. Right in the sphincteral opening. 

[Cuntybaws]

2 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I had fourteen people in my house

That’s either one hell of a swingers’ party, or Qantas are doing some quite exceptional special offers. Was this sort of crowd a regular feature back in Blighty?

[Last Cunt Standing]

4 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

Was this sort of crowd a regular feature back in Blighty?

It’s the wife’s fault really Baws. I’m very happy in my own company and generally don’t care for houseguests pawing at the wine rack and poking into kitchen cupboards. She’s never happier than when the house and garden are overflowing with small talking visitors. In the old Country, she threw an annual party on the late May Bank Holiday which I came to dread so much I developed an interest in first division football just so I could have an excuse to sneak off and watch the playoff final. 

The crowd in Oct/Nov was unusually large, and the ranks were swelled by some second marriage honeymooners en route to Fiji, my backpacking nephew and his girlfriend who’ve quit London for a year, and a quartet of Barmy Army over for the cricket. The only swinging under discussion would have related to Jimmy Anderson. 

[Wolfie]

11 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I haven’t the time or the inclination to indulge this bollocks. Rather than crawl over my previous posts looking for a gotcha contradiction or a missing apostrophe, get out in to the world and make some friends, for fucks’ sake. Excluding Mrs LCS and I, I had fourteen people in my house in late October and November, which exceeded our bed capacity. Alternate solutions were found. My neighbours were very helpful. 

Now go fuck yourself. Right in the sphincteral opening. 

Oh, but clearly you have...

3 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

It’s the wife’s fault really Baws. I’m very happy in my own company and generally don’t care for houseguests pawing at the wine rack and poking into kitchen cupboards. She’s never happier than when the house and garden are overflowing with small talking visitors. In the old Country, she threw an annual party on the late May Bank Holiday which I came to dread so much I developed an interest in first division football just so I could have an excuse to sneak off and watch the playoff final. 

The crowd in Oct/Nov was unusually large, and the ranks were swelled by some second marriage honeymooners en route to Fiji, my backpacking nephew and his girlfriend who’ve quit London for a year, and a quartet of Barmy Army over for the cricket. The only swinging under discussion would have related to Jimmy Anderson. 

Even when I've plainly demonstrated the precise futon reference you made (just one month ago), you still haven't got the nobleness to acknowledge it. I've said on some occasions you can be incredibly arrogant, a trait typical of many (though not all) doctors and medical specialists, exemplified by you on more occasions than I can recall, this being another example.

Why would anyone be stupid enough to bring so much of their personal life & career to a website of generally obnoxious oddballs, and be perpetually defensive when they're ridiculed for it? No one does 'I left my former life & country behind and brag about my new surroundings because I'm beginning to regret my decision' quite like you, Doc. Perhaps surprisingly from your perspective, I reckon you and I would get on just fine in the real world. I am confident you could convince me, and perhaps an entire West Country pub, that you have more than one sphinteral opening. I'll pay for your drinks – all night long.

In spite of your references to my alleged sexual attraction to dogs, as well as eating my own pooches in light of the cost of living in the UK (and the UK only!), you are also a dog owner, are you not?

[scotty]

1 hour ago, Wolfie said:

you are also a dog owner, are you not?

He was, until he got that Korean cookbook for his birthday. 😢

[Last Cunt Standing]

3 hours ago, Wolfie said:

Oh, but clearly you have...

Even when I've plainly demonstrated the precise futon reference you made (just one month ago), you still haven't got the nobleness to acknowledge it. I've said on some occasions you can be incredibly arrogant, a trait typical of many (though not all) doctors and medical specialists, exemplified by you on more occasions than I can recall, this being another example.

Why would anyone be stupid enough to bring so much of their personal life & career to a website of generally obnoxious oddballs, and be perpetually defensive when they're ridiculed for it? No one does 'I left my former life & country behind and brag about my new surroundings because I'm beginning to regret my decision' quite like you, Doc. Perhaps surprisingly from your perspective, I reckon you and I would get on just fine in the real world. I am confident you could convince me, and perhaps an entire West Country pub, that you have more than one sphinteral opening. I'll pay for your drinks – all night long.

In spite of your references to my alleged sexual attraction to dogs, as well as eating my own pooches in light of the cost of living in the UK (and the UK only!), you are also a dog owner, are you not?

Do you have even the vaguest comprehension of what a boring arsehole you are? There’s so much wrong here I’ll just stick a metaphorical red pen through the lot of it. 

It is though worth noting that once upon time you would question the veracity of my former job, my geographic location, and my financial position. Now you’re relegated to lazy speculation about how much I might miss the UK, whether I own a dog, and semantic tiffs about sphincters. That is when you aren’t parsing my sentences, or pointing out words like nobleness might be easily mistaken for nobility or vice versa. It’s not exactly progression, is it?

And all done with the grace of a coked-up Michelle McManus afflicted by St Vitus’ Dance. 

Get fucked. 

[Eddie]

54 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Do you have even the vaguest comprehension of what a boring arsehole you are? There’s so much wrong here I’ll just stick a metaphorical red pen through the lot of it. 

It is though worth noting that once upon time you would question the veracity of my former job, my geographic location, and my financial position. Now you’re relegated to lazy speculation about how much I might miss the UK, whether I own a dog, and semantic tiffs about sphincters. That is when you aren’t parsing my sentences, or pointing out words like nobleness might be easily mistaken for nobility or vice versa. It’s not exactly progression, is it?

And all done with the grace of a coked-up Michelle McManus afflicted by St Vitus’ Dance. 

Get fucked. 

Elf on a shelf, or a nurse on a futon, either way get fucked yourself, happy Christmas 

[Decimus]

1 hour ago, Eddie said:

Elf on a shelf

Carl?

[King Billy]

9 hours ago, Wolfie said:

Why would anyone be stupid enough to bring so much of their personal life & career to a website of generally obnoxious oddballs,

It’s classic ‘asylum seeker syndrome’. When I look at the membership of CC I see only doctors, scientists, teachers, epidemiologists, physicists etc. not a collection of ‘generally obnoxious oddballs’ in a dinghy , paddling furiously towards the white cliffs of Dover, in designer clothes clutching their I phone 14s.

[King Billy]

6 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Do you have even the vaguest comprehension of what a boring arsehole you are? There’s so much wrong here I’ll just stick a metaphorical red pen through the lot of it. 

It is though worth noting that once upon time you would question the veracity of my former job, my geographic location, and my financial position. Now you’re relegated to lazy speculation about how much I might miss the UK, whether I own a dog, and semantic tiffs about sphincters. That is when you aren’t parsing my sentences, or pointing out words like nobleness might be easily mistaken for nobility or vice versa. It’s not exactly progression, is it?

And all done with the grace of a coked-up Michelle McManus afflicted by St Vitus’ Dance. 

Get fucked. 

Allright lads?

[Meet Uncle Monty]

On 28/11/2022 at 19:41, Wolfie said:

 

Hmmm... *twiddles moustache*

Your nom intro summoned Roops into your stealthy little penchant for yet another thing Down Under – feet.

Which has clearly resulted in an argument you've lost rather quickly. "Go bother someone else" indeed.

Idiot.

Uncanny sycophantic response there, Mr Admas. Is that Mrs Roops's fanny batter in that face fungus?