Holes in supermarket wire mesh trolleys are too bloody big, I lose half my shopping before I reach the checkout.

[ProfB]

My besty big Kazza, asked me to get her a couple of packets of Halls cough sweets (Menthol Extra Strong), because she has a frog in her throat, by the time I reached self service both packets & fallen through the holes in my trolley, this was big, bad news since I put the last two packets Morries had into my trolley.

🛒

[Dave Umbongo]

2 litre bottles of neat bleach won't fall out though. Buy fucking loads and drink it you stupid fuck.

[Eric Cuntman]

6 minutes ago, ProfB said:

My besty big Kazza, asked me to get her a couple of packets of Halls cough sweets (Menthol Extra Strong), because she has a frog in her throat, by the time I reached self service both packets & fallen through the holes in my trolley, this was big, bad news since I put the last two packets Morries had into my trolley.

🛒

Yeah. And have you seen the size of the baskets in Lidl? I only want some coffee, toaster waffles and a box of drill bits, and I have to have a basket big enough to house a family of Pakistanis. 

Fuck You Morrisons and fuck you Lidl. Inept fucking cunts.

[PANZER MURPHY]

11 minutes ago, ProfB said:

My besty big Kazza, asked me to get her a couple of packets of Halls cough sweets (Menthol Extra Strong), because she has a frog in her throat, by the time I reached self service both packets & fallen through the holes in my trolley, this was big, bad news since I put the last two packets Morries had into my trolley.

🛒

Did ya get yer woman's vodka prof?

PANZERMURPHYBABY 

[ProfB]

YES 😃 it's out - cheers.

Love ProfB xxx

[Decimus]

5 minutes ago, ProfB said:

YES 😃 it's out - cheers.

Love ProfB xxx

I've got an few shopping tips Prof to make your retail experience more enjoyable if you're interested xxx

[ProfB]

6 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I've got an few shopping tips Prof to make your retail experience more enjoyable if you're interested xxx

They will be nasty, so I don't want to know.

[Eric Cuntman]

7 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I've got an few shopping tips Prof to make your retail experience more enjoyable if you're interested xxx

You big softie you.

[Decimus]

5 minutes ago, ProfB said:

They will be nasty, so I don't want to know.

Tough fucking shit.

1. Ensure that your supermarket of choice has a petrol station. This part is vital.

2. Pull in to the next available pump and thoroughly saturate yourself in petrol. Leave the Invacar parked up as you won't need it again.

3. Walk into the supermarket and head straight for the beers, wines and spirits aisle, stopping en-route to purchase a box of matches from the fag kiosk.

4. Chuck yourself heard first into the own brand vodka section, making sure that you roll around in the shattered remnants to ensure your clothes soak up every last drop.

5. Set yourself alight.

 

 

[Decimus]

8 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

You big softie you.

I'm the Mary Portas of Norfolk.

[Cuntybaws]

7 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Tough fucking shit.

1. Ensure that your supermarket of choice has a petrol station. This part is vital.

2. Pull in to the next available pump and thoroughly saturate yourself in petrol. Leave the Invacar parked up as you won't need it again.

3. Walk into the supermarket and head straight for the beers, wines and spirits aisle, stopping en-route to purchase a box of matches from the fag kiosk.

4. Chuck yourself heard first into the own brand vodka section, making sure that you roll around in the shattered remnants to ensure your clothes soak up every last drop.

5. Set yourself alight.

Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words.

[King Billy]

1 hour ago, Cuntybaws said:

a picture is worth a thousand words.

I don’t think Sothebys know this.

[King Billy]

2 hours ago, ProfB said:

My besty big Kazza, asked me to get her a couple of packets of Halls cough sweets (Menthol Extra Strong), because she has a frog in her throat, by the time I reached self service both packets & fallen through the holes in my trolley, this was big, bad news since I put the last two packets Morries had into my trolley.

🛒

This is more like it ProfB. I lost a 75” TV the same way in Harrods recently. I felt such a fool as the hole looked no bigger than about 6’3” wide when I chose the trolley on the way in.

[White Cunt]

3 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Yeah. And have you seen the size of the baskets in Lidl? I only want some coffee, toaster waffles and a box of drill bits, and I have to have a basket big enough to house a family of Pakistanis. 

Fuck You Morrisons and fuck you Lidl. Inept fucking cunts.

You are a brave man, Eric.

 I’m not shopping-shy, but a trip to Lidl puts fear in my heart. The stores are run by super dimwits who reek of bo more than some of the clientele. 

[Eric Cuntman]

23 minutes ago, White Cunt said:

You are a brave man, Eric.

 I’m not shopping-shy, but a trip to Lidl puts fear in my heart. The stores are run by super dimwits who reek of bo more than some of the clientele. 

Loss-leaders in the middle aisle. For a £110 German made socket set, priced at £30... I will endure the stench of morlocks

[Goober]

5 hours ago, ProfB said:

My besty big Kazza, asked me to get her a couple of packets of Halls cough sweets (Menthol Extra Strong), because she has a frog in her throat, by the time I reached self service both packets & fallen through the holes in my trolley, this was big, bad news since I put the last two packets Morries had into my trolley.

🛒

@Witheredscrote stop face  fucking big Lezza, or whatever her name is, and stick to gander molestation. 

[ProfB]

18 hours ago, ProfB said:

My besty big Kazza, asked me to get her a couple of packets of Halls cough sweets (Menthol Extra Strong), because she has a frog in her throat, by the time I reached self service both packets & fallen through the holes in my trolley, this was big, bad news since I put the last two packets Morries had into my trolley.

🛒

Fruit pastilles & Polos could easily slip through the holes, you need to compensate for your potential loss, if you want 3 packets of Polos try putting 6 in your trolley, then if you have to suddenly brake near the the cornflakes, you might only lose a couple of packets, not the lot.

There should be warning lables on small items or a special area in the trolley for them, there must be millions of packets of Halls cough sweets on supermarket floors nationwide.

Love ProfB xxx

[Guest Parabolic Cunting]

18 hours ago, ProfB said:

My besty big Kazza, asked me to get her a couple of packets of Halls cough sweets (Menthol Extra Strong), because she has a frog in her throat, by the time I reached self service both packets & fallen through the holes in my trolley, this was big, bad news since I put the last two packets Morries had into my trolley.

🛒

Take your bag for life and line the basket with it next time, silly.

Bananas.

[Major Cunt]

17 hours ago, Decimus said:

Tough fucking shit.

1. Ensure that your supermarket of choice has a petrol station. This part is vital.

2. Pull in to the next available pump and thoroughly saturate yourself in petrol. Leave the Invacar parked up as you won't need it again.

3. Walk into the supermarket and head straight for the beers, wines and spirits aisle, stopping en-route to purchase a box of matches from the fag kiosk.

4. Chuck yourself heard first into the own brand vodka section, making sure that you roll around in the shattered remnants to ensure your clothes soak up every last drop.

5. Set yourself alight.

 

 

Completely unexpected. I was expecting a link for either a male sex-doll, 'Shopping for Dummies', or potentially a take that shit over to 'mumsnet' comment. Creative cunting! 

[Stubby Pecker]

On 24/05/2022 at 18:18, ProfB said:

My besty big Kazza, asked me to get her a couple of packets of Halls cough sweets (Menthol Extra Strong), because she has a frog in her throat, by the time I reached self service both packets & fallen through the holes in my trolley, this was big, bad news since I put the last two packets Morries had into my trolley.

🛒

Kill yourself 

[ProfB]

On 27/05/2022 at 14:44, Stubby Pecker said:

Kill yourself 

FUCK OF plastic cunt face - you sad creation who lives with his mother & pretends, pretends, pretends.

& hope your tiny balls shrivel up & King Billie's as he's tragic & as scared of females as you are.

[cuntspotter]

I see.

[Decimus]

13 minutes ago, ProfB said:

FUCK OF plastic cunt face - you sad creation who lives with his mother & pretends, pretends, pretends.

& hope you tiny balls shrivel up & King Billie's as he's tragic & as scared of females as you are.

I want you dead.

[Wolfie]

On 29/05/2022 at 22:16, ProfB said:

FUCK OF plastic cunt face - you sad creation who lives with his mother & pretends, pretends, pretends.

& hope you tiny balls shrivel up & King Billie's as he's tragic & as scared of females as you are.

You're an odd one, Prof. I think it is you who's afraid of men, which goes some way to explaining the 'tiny cock' comments you've laced half the puntership with in recent months. I've read on another thread that 'you've never had sex', which makes one wonder why you consider yourself qualified to judge anyone's cock size in the first place. Either that or your irony suggests you were once a horny young thing who's now an ageing, lonely alcoholic, living among dozens of cats, downing half a bottle of whisky each evening alongside a microwave meal-for-one, fuelling your resentment of the male species for finding you so incredibly unattractive, which is probably why no one's put their cock anywhere near you for decades.

[King Billy]

2 hours ago, ProfB said:

FUCK OF plastic cunt face - you sad creation who lives with his mother & pretends, pretends, pretends.

& hope you tiny balls shrivel up & King Billie's as he's tragic & as scared of females as you are.

Get your growler out you slag.