This Sceptred Isle

[Last Cunt Standing]

Not that it’s likely to be of interest, but in a few days I’m returning to the UK for the first time in 3 years to visit friends and family, or at least those still standing after the pandemic. I’ve even got a shiny new blue/black passport to wave at the Customs wallah at Heathrow. What delights can I look forward to on my return? On the list so far is a pint and a Sunday roast in my favourite country pub, a trip to see the football with my nephew, Tea at The Ritz (the wife insisted), and an amble up Snowdonia.

I’d welcome other recommendations particularly in London which no doubt has changed a good deal since I was last there. What’s the best place for a late night Ruby near Brick Lane these days? How do I avoid getting stabbed for my iPhone? Is it still good form to ignore a bloodied woman screaming for help on the Tube?

I realise this isn’t TripAdvisor, and I’m expecting a deluge of “fuck off you’re not welcome, traitor” type shit from the assembled Orcs who seem from the temperature on other posts to have lost their fucking minds lately. But fuck it, it’s worth a try. 

PMs are open. 

[Goober]

23 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Is it still good form to ignore a bloodied woman screaming for help on the Tube?

I think it's still perfectly acceptable to ignore women on their period, LCS. Welcome home. 

 

[Dyslexic cnut]

You could stay at my place LC, but Ray Winstone’s in the spare room right now as his tart has kicked him out. To be honest, he’s a bit of a scruffy cunt who jibbed the last round last night. Let me dwell on this.

[Guest judgetwi]

I take it this is to avoid ANZAC day on Monday? Very sensible Skippy, some of those wombatshaggers still blame us for Gallipoli you know. To be fair they’ve got a fucking good point but we’re not going to admit that are we? Well you would obviously because you’re a two bob little prick who hates his own country. 
Yeah take a trip down Brick Lane, or perhaps Railton Road, preferably late at night, mouthing it off as usual. 
You won’t get an Abo’s stray boomerang in the side of your massive head so you don’t have to worry about that. Good luck Skippy.

[Neil]

None,the place is fucked.

[Last Cunt Standing]

3 hours ago, judgetwi said:

Well you would obviously because you’re a two bob little prick who hates his own country. 
Yeah take a trip down Brick Lane, or perhaps Railton Road, preferably late at night, mouthing it off as usual. 

See, this is just petty and cruel you hook-nosed tosspot. I got through a whole post on the UK without saying anything negative earlier, just to be civil. I could have made some offhand reference to the M20 or the fact you can’t get an organic artichoke in a London Waitrose anymore since, well you know, since then. I’m looking forward to my trip despite knowing I’ll be mingling with Home Counties Daily Heil reading ignoramuses like yourself before I’ve left the baggage carousel at Heathrow. I’m staying at the old Scotland Yard building, now a Hyatt, and given it was probably your old haunt back during the 1920’s, I’ll keep a look out for any badly scrawled Hebrew in the Gents offering London’s only Kosher blowjob. I suppose, on reflection asking the likes of you for an Indian restaurant recommendation is foolish, as it’s a matter of Corner record you much prefer Greek. 

I’ll think of you from the Emirates Lounge. Chin chin, prick. That upstairs window won’t clean itself you know. 

[Frank]

9 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

See, this is just petty and cruel you hook-nosed tosspot. I got through a whole post on the UK without saying anything negative earlier, just to be civil. I could have made some offhand reference to the M20 or the fact you can’t get an organic artichoke in a London Waitrose anymore since, well you know, since then. I’m looking forward to my trip despite knowing I’ll be mingling with Home Counties Daily Heil reading ignoramuses like yourself before I’ve left the baggage carousel at Heathrow. I’m staying at the old Scotland Yard building, now a Hyatt, and given it was probably your old haunt back during the 1920’s, I’ll keep a look out for any badly scrawled Hebrew in the Gents offering London’s only Kosher blowjob. I suppose, on reflection asking the likes of you for an Indian restaurant recommendation is foolish, as it’s a matter of Corner record you much prefer Greek. 

I’ll think of you from the Emirates Lounge. Chin chin, prick. That upstairs window won’t clean itself you know. 

Dishoom in Shoreditch or Covent Garden. Forget the 'authentic' shit-holes in and around Brick Lane.

https://www.dishoom.com/shoreditch/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=Yext&utm_content=D2-Shoreditch&y_source=1_MjMwNDkyMDQtNzE1LWxvY2F0aW9uLndlYnNpdGU%3D

 

[Decimus]

6 minutes ago, Frank said:

Dishoom in Shoreditch or Covent Garden. Forget the 'authentic' shit-holes in and around Brick Lane.

https://www.dishoom.com/shoreditch/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=Yext&utm_content=D2-Shoreditch&y_source=1_MjMwNDkyMDQtNzE1LWxvY2F0aW9uLndlYnNpdGU%3D

 

Looks good mate 👍

[Eddie]

6 minutes ago, Frank said:

Dishoom in Shoreditch or Covent Garden. Forget the 'authentic' shit-holes in and around Brick Lane.

https://www.dishoom.com/shoreditch/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=Yext&utm_content=D2-Shoreditch&y_source=1_MjMwNDkyMDQtNzE1LWxvY2F0aW9uLndlYnNpdGU%3D

 

Wishy washy posts, playing with Fend and now restaurant tips to the wandering nurse. What’s happened to you? 

[Decimus]

8 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Not that it’s likely to be of interest, but in a few days I’m returning to the UK for the first time in 3 years to visit friends and family, or at least those still standing after the pandemic. I’ve even got a shiny new blue/black passport to wave at the Customs wallah at Heathrow. What delights can I look forward to on my return? On the list so far is a pint and a Sunday roast in my favourite country pub, a trip to see the football with my nephew, Tea at The Ritz (the wife insisted), and an amble up Snowdonia.

I’d welcome other recommendations particularly in London which no doubt has changed a good deal since I was last there. What’s the best place for a late night Ruby near Brick Lane these days? How do I avoid getting stabbed for my iPhone? Is it still good form to ignore a bloodied woman screaming for help on the Tube?

I realise this isn’t TripAdvisor, and I’m expecting a deluge of “fuck off you’re not welcome, traitor” type shit from the assembled Orcs who seem from the temperature on other posts to have lost their fucking minds lately. But fuck it, it’s worth a try. 

PMs are open. 

I despise London and I'm a provincial, LCS, so my recommendations are all based up here in the arse end of nowhere.

I do seem to vaguely remember a decade ago semi-enjoying a Chinese restaurant in Soho whilst pissed up in the early hours. Can't remember what it was called but it wasn't your usual sweet and sour chicken balls fare.

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

9 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Not that it’s likely to be of interest, but in a few days I’m returning to the UK for the first time in 3 years to visit friends and family, or at least those still standing after the pandemic. I’ve even got a shiny new blue/black passport to wave at the Customs wallah at Heathrow. What delights can I look forward to on my return? On the list so far is a pint and a Sunday roast in my favourite country pub, a trip to see the football with my nephew, Tea at The Ritz (the wife insisted), and an amble up Snowdonia.

I’d welcome other recommendations particularly in London which no doubt has changed a good deal since I was last there. What’s the best place for a late night Ruby near Brick Lane these days? How do I avoid getting stabbed for my iPhone? Is it still good form to ignore a bloodied woman screaming for help on the Tube?

I realise this isn’t TripAdvisor, and I’m expecting a deluge of “fuck off you’re not welcome, traitor” type shit from the assembled Orcs who seem from the temperature on other posts to have lost their fucking minds lately. But fuck it, it’s worth a try. 

PMs are open. 

As you'll be around this part of town (Ritz) check this place out LCS. 

https://www.kaimayfair.co.uk/

Amazing food and if you need any substances for later in the evening, I'll be around the corner on the corner. 

[Last Cunt Standing]

1 hour ago, Frank said:

Dishoom in Shoreditch or Covent Garden. Forget the 'authentic' shit-holes in and around Brick Lane.

Cheers Frank. Food looks good, though I’m a sucker for the old flock wallpaper, ten pints of Cobra, tikka masala type of place come 11pm. 

[Miles]

1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

See, this is just petty and cruel you hook-nosed tosspot. I got through a whole post on the UK without saying anything negative earlier, just to be civil. I could have made some offhand reference to the M20 or the fact you can’t get an organic artichoke in a London Waitrose anymore since, well you know, since then. I’m looking forward to my trip despite knowing I’ll be mingling with Home Counties Daily Heil reading ignoramuses like yourself before I’ve left the baggage carousel at Heathrow. I’m staying at the old Scotland Yard building, now a Hyatt, and given it was probably your old haunt back during the 1920’s, I’ll keep a look out for any badly scrawled Hebrew in the Gents offering London’s only Kosher blowjob. I suppose, on reflection asking the likes of you for an Indian restaurant recommendation is foolish, as it’s a matter of Corner record you much prefer Greek. 

I’ll think of you from the Emirates Lounge. Chin chin, prick. That upstairs window won’t clean itself you know. 

Why not compromise and visit Middlewich?

[Last Cunt Standing]

46 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I despise London and I'm a provincial, LCS, so my recommendations are all based up here in the arse end of nowhere.

I do seem to vaguely remember a decade ago semi-enjoying a Chinese restaurant in Soho whilst pissed up in the early hours. Can't remember what it was called but it wasn't your usual sweet and sour chicken balls fare.

Appreciate the effort, Decs. I’ll be touring the provinces too; Lincolnshire, Yorkshire, Leicestershire and Wales all feature on the itinerary. But alas not Norfolk this time. If I want flat, wet and uninteresting I’ll drop in on my sister in law. I will be seeing your Canaries on my travels though. My nephew is a diehard Foxes fan. 

[camberwell gypsy]

Don't pair up with Amir Khan and his missus. He has a habit of getting mugged. Bit like his boxing career 

[Frank]

2 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Cheers Frank. Food looks good, though I’m a sucker for the old flock wallpaper, ten pints of Cobra, tikka masala type of place come 11pm. 

Then it has to be Curry Paradise in Gospel Oak.. next to the Royal Free. 

[Dave Umbongo]

This place isn't bad if you fancy something different. https://www.mandarinoriental.com/london/hyde-park/fine-dining/japanese-izakaya/the-aubrey

We don't get many Jap eateries in Norfolk.

 

[Witheredscrote]

5 hours ago, Eddie said:

Wishy washy posts, playing with Fend and now restaurant tips to the wandering nurse. What’s happened to you? 

Need you ask, he's a fucking bubble.

 

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

2 hours ago, Frank said:

Then it has to be Curry Paradise in Gospel Oak.. next to the Royal Free. 

Frank, I'm beginning to think you're a food critic...what with all this knowledge of restaurants and eating out alone so often. However your skinny, weedy frame suggests otherwise. Anyways fuck all that you daft cunt, who's going to win...Trump or McGill?

[Eric Cuntman]

1 hour ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Frank, I'm beginning to think you're a food critic...what with all this knowledge of restaurants and eating out alone so often. However your skinny, weedy frame suggests otherwise. Anyways fuck all that you daft cunt, who's going to win...Trump or McGill?

I expect Trump will pull his head out of his arse by session 2 and take control. But I'd like McGill to win. I don't like Trump. He thinks he's the GOAT, he's an exceptional player, but hasn't done anything that Higgins and White weren't doing in the 70s/80s with a heavier cloth.

[Jake The Muss]

Avoid London as it's the city of lost souls, you will find yourself walking around thinking you're in a live episode of the walking dead, i always carry Lucile with me when i'm out and about.

[Jake The Muss]

48 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I expect Trump will pull his head out of his arse by session 2 and take control. But I'd like McGill to win. I don't like Trump. He thinks he's the GOAT, he's an exceptional player, but hasn't done anything that Higgins and White weren't doing in the 70s/80s with a heavier cloth.

Trump is a good golfer as well, he got a hole in one not so long a go.

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

58 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I expect Trump will pull his head out of his arse by session 2 and take control. But I'd like McGill to win. I don't like Trump. He thinks he's the GOAT, he's an exceptional player, but hasn't done anything that Higgins and White weren't doing in the 70s/80s with a heavier cloth.

I do rate Trump, however unfortunately for him he's playing at the same time as O'Sullivan and I don't think I've seen a better player than Ronnie. I remember watching Higgins as a youngster, sipping his whiskey doubles and smoking...those were the days. Fucking hell that Welsh cunt Griffiths was the slowest cunt of a player I think I've ever seen.

[Decimus]

29 minutes ago, Jake The Muss said:

i always carry Lucile with me when i'm out and about.

Whatever makes you feel safe, Bend.

 

 

[Jake The Muss]

1 minute ago, Decimus said:

Whatever makes you feel safe, Bend.

 

 

Evening ducks, that didn't take you long did it, you must sit at your computer waiting for me, i suppose your two testicles will be along in a bit to prop you up.

Anyway while you're here, grab a stool and have a drink while you wait for your boyfriends.

Babycham ?