Guest Parabolic Cunting Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 Feeling nostalgic after some great news of a family members death, I thought I would take a girl I know up to Great Yarmouth so we could reminisce together about our shared experiences on holiday as kids in this formerly colourful and vibrant seaside town. Fuck. Fucking hell. I guess as a kid, I hadn't paid much attention to Norfolks array of human animal hybrids, each of them starting life as a pet flushed down the shitter and evolving over thousands of minutes swimming through chip fat chrysalised terds, now remarkably employed in this freakshow of a town. I realise it is winter, and not everything is open, but this place is so desolate and decrepit, it really does look post nuclear attack, as do it's confused residents and business owners. Everyone has a 'what the fuck happened to me?' look on their face. During the pandemic, it doesn't seem any business owner managed to work out how to use the internet or a pen to improve their situation and they all appear to have been fighting over the same 160 total IQ points, the winner being a beached jellyfish. Maybe it was always a dump? Fucking horrible experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 14 minutes ago, Parabolic Cunting said: Feeling nostalgic after some great news of a family members death, I thought I would take a girl I know up to Great Yarmouth so we could reminisce together about our shared experiences on holiday as kids in this formerly colourful and vibrant seaside town. Fuck. Fucking hell. I guess as a kid, I hadn't paid much attention to Norfolks array of human animal hybrids, each of them starting life as a pet flushed down the shitter and evolving over thousands of minutes swimming through chip fat chrysalised terds, now remarkably employed in this freakshow of a town. I realise it is winter, and not everything is open, but this place is so desolate and decrepit, it really does look post nuclear attack, as do it's confused residents and business owners. Everyone has a 'what the fuck happened to me?' look on their face. During the pandemic, it doesn't seem any business owner managed to work out how to use the internet or a pen to improve their situation and they all appear to have been fighting over the same 160 total IQ points, the winner being a beached jellyfish. Maybe it was always a dump? Fucking horrible experience. Does Mrs Parabolic know that after 20+ years of marriage, you are still unable to remember her name, and that she's listed in the last national census as: 'that woman in my house'? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 1 hour ago, Parabolic Cunting said: Feeling nostalgic after some great news of a family members death, I thought I would take a girl I know up to Great Yarmouth so we could reminisce together about our shared experiences on holiday as kids in this formerly colourful and vibrant seaside town. Fuck. Fucking hell. I guess as a kid, I hadn't paid much attention to Norfolks array of human animal hybrids, each of them starting life as a pet flushed down the shitter and evolving over thousands of minutes swimming through chip fat chrysalised terds, now remarkably employed in this freakshow of a town. I realise it is winter, and not everything is open, but this place is so desolate and decrepit, it really does look post nuclear attack, as do it's confused residents and business owners. Everyone has a 'what the fuck happened to me?' look on their face. During the pandemic, it doesn't seem any business owner managed to work out how to use the internet or a pen to improve their situation and they all appear to have been fighting over the same 160 total IQ points, the winner being a beached jellyfish. Maybe it was always a dump? Fucking horrible experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 2 hours ago, Parabolic Cunting said: it doesn't seem any business owner managed to work out how to use the internet or a pen to improve their situation It ain't easy typing or holding a pen, or anything else for that matter, when you've three thumbs and no fingers, on one hand, just ask Dickless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Umbongo Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 I'm just thinking how much better must it be than Yarmouth on the Isle-of-Wight for it to earn the moniker of 'Great' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 2 hours ago, Parabolic Cunting said: Feeling nostalgic after some great news of a family members death, I thought I would take a girl I know up to Great Yarmouth so we could reminisce together about our shared experiences on holiday as kids in this formerly colourful and vibrant seaside town. Fuck. Fucking hell. I guess as a kid, I hadn't paid much attention to Norfolks array of human animal hybrids, each of them starting life as a pet flushed down the shitter and evolving over thousands of minutes swimming through chip fat chrysalised terds, now remarkably employed in this freakshow of a town. I realise it is winter, and not everything is open, but this place is so desolate and decrepit, it really does look post nuclear attack, as do it's confused residents and business owners. Everyone has a 'what the fuck happened to me?' look on their face. During the pandemic, it doesn't seem any business owner managed to work out how to use the internet or a pen to improve their situation and they all appear to have been fighting over the same 160 total IQ points, the winner being a beached jellyfish. Maybe it was always a dump? Fucking horrible experience. Have a like, you cheeky cunt. I'm actually there right now in The Troll Cart which is a Wetherspoons and possibly Yarmouth's most classy establishment, which probably goes toward confirming your opinion on the vile fucking hole. I spent a good portion of my childhood there as a member of one of the 28 families in town who were permanently employed. I haven't got rose tinted glasses, it was a disgusting pit of alcoholism, drug addiction, pink painted houses and pitbulls even when I was a nipper. In its defence, though, the majority of people were white and technically members of the Homo Sapien genus. It probably didn't escape your attention that it is now primarily inhabited by apes and Red Dwarf style curry monsters, most of whom spend their days stinking the place up speaking gibberish in the infinite charity shops and poundlands that infest its deader than Ming town centre. Fucking Hell 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 28 minutes ago, Decimus said: Have a like, you cheeky cunt. I'm actually there right now in The Troll Cart which is a Wetherspoons and possibly Yarmouth's most classy establishment, which probably goes toward confirming your opinion on the vile fucking hole. I spent a good portion of my childhood there as a member of one of the 28 families in town who were permanently employed. I haven't got rose tinted glasses, it was a disgusting pit of alcoholism, drug addiction, pink painted houses and pitbulls even when I was a nipper. In its defence, though, the majority of people were white and technically members of the Homo Sapien genus. It probably didn't escape your attention that it is now primarily inhabited by apes and Red Dwarf style curry monsters, most of whom spend their days stinking the place up speaking gibberish in the infinite charity shops and poundlands that infest its deader than Ming town centre. Fucking Hell I’m in Felixstowe tomorrow decimus, I think that’s close enough. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 1 minute ago, Eddie said: I’m in Felixstowe tomorrow decimus, I think that’s close enough. I'll meet you in Lowestoft for a bottle of Frosty Jack's surreptitiously poured into water glasses in the Wheatsheaf's beer garden. Drew will be there by 9am and has been advised to save us a table. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 36 minutes ago, Decimus said: I'll meet you in Lowestoft for a bottle of Frosty Jack's surreptitiously poured into water glasses in the Wheatsheaf's beer garden. Drew will be there by 9am and has been advised to save us a table. Drew will be paralytic by 9am. Best ask the barmaid for a 'sippy-cup'. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Umbongo Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 1 hour ago, Decimus said: Have a like, you cheeky cunt. I'm actually there right now in The Troll Cart which is a Wetherspoons and possibly Yarmouth's most classy establishment, which probably goes toward confirming your opinion on the vile fucking hole. I spent a good portion of my childhood there as a member of one of the 28 families in town who were permanently employed. I haven't got rose tinted glasses, it was a disgusting pit of alcoholism, drug addiction, pink painted houses and pitbulls even when I was a nipper. In its defence, though, the majority of people were white and technically members of the Homo Sapien genus. It probably didn't escape your attention that it is now primarily inhabited by apes and Red Dwarf style curry monsters, most of whom spend their days stinking the place up speaking gibberish in the infinite charity shops and poundlands that infest its deader than Ming town centre. Fucking Hell I thought Troll Carts was the slang term for the taxis that used to drop the local slags off outside the Garibaldi. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 43 minutes ago, Decimus said: I'll meet you in Lowestoft for a bottle of Frosty Jack's surreptitiously poured into water glasses in the Wheatsheaf's beer garden. Drew will be there by 9am and has been advised to save us a table. Still sounds better than my time with Frank…I’ll bring the glue bag. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Umbongo Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 41 minutes ago, Decimus said: I'll meet you in Lowestoft for a bottle of Frosty Jack's surreptitiously poured into water glasses in the Wheatsheaf's beer garden. Drew will be there by 9am and has been advised to save us a table. If I weren't so fucking knackered I would be along the Acle Straight right now to pummel your stupid head in with a 16lb bowling ball so you would look as deformed as the best model in the wax works on Regent Road. Bollox, that fucking bowling alley on Regent Road isn't there since it burnt down. You've had a very fucking lucky escape. Enjoy your Club meal and drink, you skinflint. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer of Cunts Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 1 hour ago, Decimus said: The Troll Cart I've just looked at this place on Google Earth, which seems far preferable to actually being there. I had a virtual stroll down Regent St and noticed a woman with a massive arse and a bloke with a dead dog on a bit of string; they'll probably have gone by the time you get out for a look. Thank-you for the warning. No-one goes there for pleasure surely? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Umbongo Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 8 minutes ago, Hammer of Cunts said: I've just looked at this place on Google Earth, which seems far preferable to actually being there. I had a virtual stroll down Regent St and noticed a woman with a massive arse and a bloke with a dead dog on a bit of string; they'll probably have gone by the time you get out for a look. Thank-you for the warning. No-one goes there for pleasure surely? If you're looking down Regent St then you're in the wrong fucking place altogether, possibly London. You thick cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfB Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 I had many a happy childhood holiday in Great Yarmouth - they had that double big wheel which scared the knickers off me. & big snails you could ride in. & the ghost train. & candyfloss. & the sea. & the helter shelter. & the double big wheel This was the early 1970s when life was fantastic. Love ProfB xxx 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer of Cunts Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 1 hour ago, Cunty BigBollox said: If you're looking down Regent St then you're in the wrong fucking place altogether, possibly London. You thick cunt. I do beg your pardon, it's Regent Road that you need to look at. Was it the arse or the dog you were keen to see? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 1 hour ago, Cunty BigBollox said: If I weren't so fucking knackered I would be along the Acle Straight right now to pummel your stupid head in with a 16lb bowling ball so you would look as deformed as the best model in the wax works on Regent Road. Bollox, that fucking bowling alley on Regent Road isn't there since it burnt down. You've had a very fucking lucky escape. Enjoy your Club meal and drink, you skinflint. I imagine that the likelihood of you being sober enough to drive coinciding with me having a drink in Yarmouth would be so infinitely small that there would be more chance of you getting a chubby than us ever bumping into each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 5 hours ago, Parabolic Cunting said: I thought I would take a girl I know up to Great Yarmouth 2 hours ago, Eddie said: I’m in Felixstowe 3 hours ago, Cunty BigBollox said: I'm just thinking how much better must it be than Yarmouth on the Isle-of-Wight for it to earn the moniker of 'Great' 2 hours ago, Decimus said: 2 hours ago, Eddie said: I'll meet you in Lowestoft Is this a long lost episode of Coast? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 2 minutes ago, King Billy said: Is this a long lost episode of Coast? The shittest episode ever. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goober Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 Aside from the nice beach, the place is an abscess on the arse cheek of England and one of the few places that's actually improved by people leaving their dog's shit on the pavements. Roger's profanisaurus had a very accurate entry that fairly sums up the place: Great Yarmouth gnomes: n. Washing machines, broken tellies and pissed mattresses used as garden ornaments in the shit Norfolk town. It's still better than Lowestoft though, that's an purulent anal fistula. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 Just now, Goober said: Aside from the nice beach, the place is an abscess on the arse cheek of England and one of the few places that's actually improved by people leaving their dog's shit on the pavements. Roger's profanisaurus had a very accurate entry that fairly sums up the place: Great Yarmouth gnomes: n. Washing machines, broken tellies and pissed mattresses used as garden ornaments in the shit Norfolk town. It's still better than Lowestoft though, that's an purulent anal fistula. I remember going there a few times as a kid and noticed that everytime we went, it was windy. The type of weather where no matter how hot it was, the sarnies always got covered in sand blown by the wind. I remember being coated in the stuff. Now I knew what a fucking fish finger felt like Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 47 minutes ago, King Billy said: Is this a long lost episode of Coast? Or a version of 'Grindr' for indecisive gaylords. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 3 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: the sarnies always got covered in sand Travis Perkins. Better than St. Tropez and only 5 minutes off the M25 by Transit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 18 minutes ago, King Billy said: Travis Perkins. Better than St. Tropez and only 5 minutes off the M25 by Transit. Dorothy Perkins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 31, 2022 Report Share Posted January 31, 2022 1 minute ago, camberwell gypsy said: Dorothy Perkins. Superkings Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.