Dyslexic cnut Posted July 22, 2021 Report Share Posted July 22, 2021 As we get older we’re supposed to get calmer and wiser. So tell me this. Why, with every passing year, do I increasingly and illogically come to despise every human being that I cross paths with on a daily basis? I drove to the shops yesterday and before I’d left the road that I live on I’d called several other road users ‘Cunts’ or ‘twats’ simply because they had caused me to brake normally and, perhaps inconveniently had me change gear. I wasn’t even in a hurry. ‘No big deal’ I hear you say, but I was in Costco tonight when my thoughts verbalised themselves and I inadvertently vocalised too loudly (it was just an illogical thought) yet I wound up telling a checkout person to ‘get fucked Cunt’ because she asked me to remove a case of water from the trolley as only three were allowed due to panic buying. The store manager, her husband, got involved and my future membership is now ‘in the balance!’ During phone calls to call centres when asked to answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’ into automated responders I invariably add ‘shitprick fucker’ to the reply. These are no isolated examples. Mrs Cnut is perturbed as, apparently, upon waking I often call our dog a ‘ginger prick’ and a ‘Gobshite’ most mornings if his presence half breaks my stride en route to my morning bowel movement. This is my first verbal utterance of the day, she says. I used to be a happy positive person, but with each passing year I fucking deeply loathe my fellow planet occupants with increasing vitriol. Is it me or is it you cunts in this place that are contributing to my maniacal hatred of man and dogkind? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted July 22, 2021 Report Share Posted July 22, 2021 23 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said: As we get older we’re supposed to get calmer and wiser. So tell me this. Why, with every passing year, do I, illogically, despise every human being that I cross paths with on a daily basis? I drove to the shops yesterday and before I’d left the road that I live on I’d called several other road users ‘Cunts’ or ‘twats’ simply because they had caused me to brake normally and, perhaps inconveniently had me change gear. I wasn’t even in a hurry. ‘No big deal’ I hear you say, but I was in Costco tonight when my thoughts verbalised themselves and I inadvertently vocalised too loudly (it was just an illogical thought) yet I wound up telling a checkout person to ‘get fucked Cunt’ because she asked me to remove a case of water from the trolley as only three were allowed due to panic buying. The store manager, her husband, got involved and my future membership is now ‘in the balance!’ This was no isolated example. Mrs Cnut is perturbed as, apparently, upon waking, I call our dog a ‘ginger prick’ and a ‘Gobshite’ most mornings if his presence half breaks my stride en route to my morning bowel movement. This is my first verbal utterance of the day, she says. I used to be a happy positive person, but with each passing year I fucking deeply loathe my fellow planet occupants with increasing vitriol. Is it me or is it you cunts in this place that are contributing to my maniacal hatred of man and dogkind? Stop buying bottled water, ffs. Power cuts are scheduled for this winter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Umbongo Posted July 23, 2021 Report Share Posted July 23, 2021 6 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said: As we get older we’re supposed to get calmer and wiser. So tell me this. Why, with every passing year, do I illogically despise every human being that I cross paths with on a daily basis? I drove to the shops yesterday and before I’d left the road that I live on I’d called several other road users ‘Cunts’ or ‘twats’ simply because they had caused me to brake normally and, perhaps inconveniently had me change gear. I wasn’t even in a hurry. ‘No big deal’ I hear you say, but I was in Costco tonight when my thoughts verbalised themselves and I inadvertently vocalised too loudly (it was just an illogical thought) yet I wound up telling a checkout person to ‘get fucked Cunt’ because she asked me to remove a case of water from the trolley as only three were allowed due to panic buying. The store manager, her husband, got involved and my future membership is now ‘in the balance!’ During phone calls to call centres when asked to answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’ into automated responders I invariably add ‘shitprick fucker’ to the reply. These are no isolated examples. Mrs Cnut is perturbed as, apparently, upon waking I often call our dog a ‘ginger prick’ and a ‘Gobshite’ most mornings if his presence half breaks my stride en route to my morning bowel movement. This is my first verbal utterance of the day, she says. I used to be a happy positive person, but with each passing year I fucking deeply loathe my fellow planet occupants with increasing vitriol. Is it me or is it you cunts in this place that are contributing to my maniacal hatred of man and dogkind? Sounds like puberty to me. Are your balls growing hairs too. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miles Posted July 23, 2021 Report Share Posted July 23, 2021 Age is simply getting older. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted July 23, 2021 Report Share Posted July 23, 2021 Nah, you're all right - they definitely deserved it. A flaming bag of dogshit on the doorstep with 'Knock Down Ginger' to that bitch next door and you'll be right as rain "Hell is other people" don't forget Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted July 23, 2021 Report Share Posted July 23, 2021 9 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said: As we get older we’re supposed to get calmer and wiser. So tell me this. Why, with every passing year, do I illogically despise every human being that I cross paths with on a daily basis? I drove to the shops yesterday and before I’d left the road that I live on I’d called several other road users ‘Cunts’ or ‘twats’ simply because they had caused me to brake normally and, perhaps inconveniently had me change gear. I wasn’t even in a hurry. ‘No big deal’ I hear you say, but I was in Costco tonight when my thoughts verbalised themselves and I inadvertently vocalised too loudly (it was just an illogical thought) yet I wound up telling a checkout person to ‘get fucked Cunt’ because she asked me to remove a case of water from the trolley as only three were allowed due to panic buying. The store manager, her husband, got involved and my future membership is now ‘in the balance!’ During phone calls to call centres when asked to answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’ into automated responders I invariably add ‘shitprick fucker’ to the reply. These are no isolated examples. Mrs Cnut is perturbed as, apparently, upon waking I often call our dog a ‘ginger prick’ and a ‘Gobshite’ most mornings if his presence half breaks my stride en route to my morning bowel movement. This is my first verbal utterance of the day, she says. I used to be a happy positive person, but with each passing year I fucking deeply loathe my fellow planet occupants with increasing vitriol. Is it me or is it you cunts in this place that are contributing to my maniacal hatred of man and dogkind? Looks like menopausal behaviour to me, which like me, you will get through. I am really old now, and smell of Old Spice, and old piss. Claire Rayner was a cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted July 23, 2021 Report Share Posted July 23, 2021 9 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said: I was buying them for Ape. He’s parched under his bed all masked up with Alzheimer’s. Poor thirsty retarded cunt that he is. I’m too caring me WC. Forget Ape, stop buying now, start buying come this winter as our energy supplies may affect local water supplies. This should give you enough bitching material to carry on with and it’s not that fictitious, either. We are seriously fucked going forward with energy, unless enough coal is put into action (explain this to the green wankers when they freeze in the dark) and new nuclear plants come online. Currently it’s too little of everything to keep the country going. I might keep that water and my generator under my mattress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted July 23, 2021 Report Share Posted July 23, 2021 10 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said: I was buying them for Ape. He’s parched under his bed all masked up with Alzheimer’s. Poor thirsty retarded cunt that he is. I’m too caring me WC. I was actually about to commend you on a good nom, but since you’ve now derailed it with your pathetic, repetitive drivel I won’t. Fucking idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted July 23, 2021 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2021 1 minute ago, Ape™️ said: I was actually about to commend you on a good nom, but since you’ve now derailed it with your pathetic, repetitive drivel I won’t. Fucking idiot. There…it’s gone. x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted July 23, 2021 Report Share Posted July 23, 2021 11 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said: I used to be a happy positive person, but with each passing year I fucking deeply loathe my fellow planet occupants with increasing vitriol. Is it me or is it you cunts in this place that are contributing to my maniacal hatred of man and dogkind? It's definitely a cumulative thing, not unlike the Colorado River eventually carving out the Grand Canyon. Mrs Baws has learned not to make trite conversational gambits like "How was your day?", as it invariably leads to a 10-minute full on invective filled rant. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted July 23, 2021 Report Share Posted July 23, 2021 2 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: It's definitely a cumulative thing, not unlike the Colorado River eventually carving out the Grand Canyon. Mrs Baws has learned not to make trite conversational gambits like "How was your day?", as it invariably leads to a 10-minute full on invective filled rant. Same here, it's always 'How was your day?' Fuck all that, the money's in the bank, go spend it, don't ask me what I had to go through to earn it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted July 23, 2021 Report Share Posted July 23, 2021 1 hour ago, Joker said: Fuck all that, the money's in the bank, go spend it, don't ask me what I had to go through to earn it. If she ever wants to understand the finer points of your vile trade, tell her to go and read some Henry Mayhew. He managed to paint a fairly detailed picture of the life of the average Tosher. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Umbongo Posted July 23, 2021 Report Share Posted July 23, 2021 5 hours ago, Ape™️ said: I was actually about to commend you on a good nom, but since you’ve now derailed it with your pathetic, repetitive drivel I won’t. Fucking idiot. 11 hours have lapsed, so I'm pleasantly surprised you remembered what it said. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted July 23, 2021 Report Share Posted July 23, 2021 10 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said: 11 hours have lapsed, so I'm pleasantly surprised you remembered what it said. Spectacularly funny, as ever. Drunken idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Umbongo Posted July 23, 2021 Report Share Posted July 23, 2021 26 minutes ago, Ape™️ said: Spectacularly funny, as ever. Drunken idiot. Thanks mate. A simple 'Like' would have sufficed. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted July 23, 2021 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2021 31 minutes ago, Ape™️ said: Spectacularly funny, as ever. Drunken idiot. You’re in ‘terrible cunt mode’ this week Ape. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Umbongo Posted July 23, 2021 Report Share Posted July 23, 2021 1 hour ago, Dyslexic cnut said: You’re in ‘terrible cunt mode’ this week Ape. He was the same 4 weeks ago, I wonder what it could be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goober Posted July 23, 2021 Report Share Posted July 23, 2021 44 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said: He was the same 4 weeks ago, I wonder what it could be. It's a full moon tomorrow. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted July 24, 2021 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2021 23 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: It's definitely a cumulative thing, not unlike the Colorado River eventually carving out the Grand Canyon. Mrs Baws has learned not to make trite conversational gambits like "How was your day?", as it invariably leads to a 10-minute full on invective filled rant. It crossed my mind that articulating this issue in this place may somehow cleanse me and see me modify my nonsensical rage. None of it. I was driving one of the Cnutlets to Wales yesterday when a woman courteously gave way to allow me to continue en route, unobstructed. She did that wave thing as we approached her to be greeted with my raised finger and a ‘Welsh twat’ utterance. There was no reason for this behaviour and it, scarily, has become a motor response (no pun intended.) I’d forgotten about my daughter in the back who said ‘Dad, that’s bad, even for you!’ Any Domestos-free ideas on how to break this cycle? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted July 24, 2021 Report Share Posted July 24, 2021 2 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said: It crossed my mind that articulating this issue in this place may somehow cleanse me and see me modify my nonsensical rage. None of it. I was driving one of the Cnutlets to Wales yesterday when a woman courteously gave way to allow me to continue en route, unobstructed. She did that wave thing as we approached her to be greeted with my raised finger and a ‘Welsh twat’ utterance. There was no reason for this behaviour and it, scarily, has become a motor response (no pun intended.) I’d forgotten about my daughter in the back who said ‘Dad, that’s bad, even for you!’ Any Domestos-free ideas on how to break this cycle? May I suggest for you to invest in the right attire, to inform the public from afar. Here is a suggestion to translate your mental state and class in one go. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted July 25, 2021 Report Share Posted July 25, 2021 On 23/07/2021 at 14:51, Decimus said: If she ever wants to understand the finer points of your vile trade, tell her to go and read some Henry Mayhew. He managed to paint a fairly detailed picture of the life of the average Tosher. And you, being a scat obsessed cunt, would have first hand knowledge of that, wouldn't you? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miles Posted July 25, 2021 Report Share Posted July 25, 2021 13 minutes ago, Joker said: And you, being a scat obsessed cunt, would have first hand knowledge of that, wouldn't you? Don't be too hard on him .. @Decimusis living proof that you can make a complete prick out of a fanny. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 25, 2021 Report Share Posted July 25, 2021 2 hours ago, Dawn Chorus said: Don't be too hard on him .. @Decimusis living proof that you can make a complete prick out of a fanny. I like your Chuck Norris avatar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted July 25, 2021 Report Share Posted July 25, 2021 2 hours ago, Joker said: And you, being a scat obsessed cunt, would have first hand knowledge of that, wouldn't you? 2 hours ago, Dawn Chorus said: Don't be too hard on him .. @Decimusis living proof that you can make a complete prick out of a fanny. Savaged by a sexual deviant and a mediator with a nipped and tucked, fake fanny. I'm not sure how I'll bounce back from this. Pair of fucking idiots. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miles Posted July 26, 2021 Report Share Posted July 26, 2021 15 hours ago, Decimus said: Savaged by a sexual deviant and a mediator with a nipped and tucked, fake fanny. I'm not sure how I'll bounce back from this. Pair of fucking idiots. How are you this morning .. are you tired after looking at all those Linkedin profiles? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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