Dave Umbongo Posted May 27, 2021 Report Share Posted May 27, 2021 I'm trying to watch Dragons Den on the telly-box and there's so many fucking view changes, soft focus and zoom shots that I'm getting motion sickness while sitting on my fat arse. What sort of cunt thinks all this bollocks and focus change shit is a good idea to broadcast a programme. I would happily torch the fucker responsible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted May 27, 2021 Report Share Posted May 27, 2021 14 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said: I'm trying to watch Dragons Den on the telly-box and there's so many fucking view changes, soft focus and zoom shots that I'm getting motion sickness while sitting on my fat arse. What sort of cunt thinks all this bollocks and focus change shit is a good idea to broadcast a programme. I would happily torch the fucker responsible. Knocking back Spar's own-brand cider from 10am a little less often might help. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted May 27, 2021 Report Share Posted May 27, 2021 11 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said: I'm trying to watch Dragons Den on the telly-box and there's so many fucking view changes, soft focus and zoom shots that I'm getting motion sickness while sitting on my fat arse. What sort of cunt thinks all this bollocks and focus change shit is a good idea to broadcast a programme. I would happily torch the fucker responsible. Have you considered that the room is spinning and everything is out of focus because you're absolutely fucking smashed on Frosty Jack's? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted May 27, 2021 Report Share Posted May 27, 2021 1 minute ago, Wolfie said: Knocking back Spar's own-brand cider from 10am a little less often might help. Just now, Decimus said: Have you considered that the room is spinning and everything is out of focus because you're absolutely fucking smashed on Frosty Jack's? Great minds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted May 27, 2021 Report Share Posted May 27, 2021 14 minutes ago, Decimus said: Great minds. This has to be the biggest own goal in the history of the corner. The resident alcoholic having a moan about his gogg eyes struggling with some unwatchable shite on telly. Drew, have another can 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 27, 2021 Report Share Posted May 27, 2021 1 hour ago, Cunty BigBollox said: I'm trying to watch Dragons Den on the telly-box and there's so many fucking view changes, soft focus and zoom shots that I'm getting motion sickness while sitting on my fat arse. What sort of cunt thinks all this bollocks and focus change shit is a good idea to broadcast a programme. I would happily torch the fucker responsible. I'd fuck that big blonde northern bird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted May 27, 2021 Report Share Posted May 27, 2021 1 hour ago, Cunty BigBollox said: I'm trying to watch Dragons Den on the telly-box and there's so many fucking view changes, soft focus and zoom shots that I'm getting motion sickness while sitting on my fat arse. What sort of cunt thinks all this bollocks and focus change shit is a good idea to broadcast a programme. I would happily torch the fucker responsible. Have you got one of those 75” tv, CBB? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted May 27, 2021 Report Share Posted May 27, 2021 2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: I'd fuck that big blonde northern bird. Peter Jones? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted May 27, 2021 Report Share Posted May 27, 2021 2 hours ago, White Cunt said: Have you got one of those 75” tv, CBB? 14’’ black and white Decca portable running off a car battery with a coat hanger for an ariel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 27, 2021 Report Share Posted May 27, 2021 13 minutes ago, King Billy said: Peter Jones? Yeah 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 27, 2021 Report Share Posted May 27, 2021 3 hours ago, Cunty BigBollox said: I'm trying to watch Dragons Den on the telly-box and there's so many fucking view changes, soft focus and zoom shots that I'm getting motion sickness while sitting on my fat arse. What sort of cunt thinks all this bollocks and focus change shit is a good idea to broadcast a programme. I would happily torch the fucker responsible. What's with the fucking puns that stringy, wonky eyed cunt whose the presenter keeps coming out with? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 27, 2021 Report Share Posted May 27, 2021 27 minutes ago, King Billy said: 14’’ black and white Decca portable running off a car battery with a coat hanger for an ariel. Do you have to give it a right hander when the horizontal hold goes funny? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted May 27, 2021 Report Share Posted May 27, 2021 7 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Do you have to give it a right hander when the horizontal hold goes funny? No. I’m an Alpha Male hunter gatherer. I don’t get involved in her work. She wouldn’t thank me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Umbongo Posted May 28, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 28, 2021 10 hours ago, White Cunt said: Have you got one of those 75” tv, CBB? No just a 40" which is more than adequate for most people. Only chavs have 50"+ TV's. Anyhow, now that I've mentioned this multi view, multi zoom, multi focus dogs bollox of a TV programme give it a watch and see what I mean. It's like a ticking clock - not annoying until someone draws your attention to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted May 28, 2021 Report Share Posted May 28, 2021 22 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: I'd fuck that big blonde northern bird. What, Steph McGovern? Have you been drinking meths again and smoking crack? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 28, 2021 Report Share Posted May 28, 2021 3 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: What, Steph McGovern? Have you been drinking meths again and smoking crack? He means the fat blonde geordie comedian who's act is basically stories about cats and biscuits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 28, 2021 Report Share Posted May 28, 2021 26 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: What, Steph McGovern? Have you been drinking meths again and smoking crack? No, the fat blonde off dragons den. Not Deborah Meaden, the other one. Steph McGovern isn't even in it. Have you had a vaccination and turned your brain to cock mould? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted May 28, 2021 Report Share Posted May 28, 2021 On 28/05/2021 at 08:47, Cunty BigBollox said: No just a 40" which is more than adequate for most people. Only chavs have 50"+ TV's. Anyhow, now that I've mentioned this multi view, multi zoom, multi focus dogs bollox of a TV programme give it a watch and see what I mean. It's like a ticking clock - not annoying until someone draws your attention to it. Indeed. But there is a thinking behind getting an Asda-sized mega screen, when one sits at an odd angle, in a nine-to - a bedroom hovel, short sighted and usually quite pissed on some home-brewed acetone. Those TVs wield certain advantages. As for the DD, I can only recall the vile performances circa 1996. My tv licence got abandoned years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 28, 2021 Report Share Posted May 28, 2021 8 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: No, the fat blonde off dragons den. Not Deborah Meaden, the other one. Steph McGovern isn't even in it. Have you had a vaccination and turned your brain to cock mould? Peter Jones? I didn't realise you were an iron Eric. Good for you coming out. I'll get me rainbow flag out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted May 28, 2021 Report Share Posted May 28, 2021 15 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: No, the fat blonde off dragons den. Not Deborah Meaden, the other one. Steph McGovern isn't even in it. Have you had a vaccination and turned your brain to cock mould? Let’s strap on the jet powered rocket pants and junior bird man outta here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted May 28, 2021 Report Share Posted May 28, 2021 12 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: I'll get me rainbow flag out. First time I’ve heard it called that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 28, 2021 Report Share Posted May 28, 2021 46 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: Let’s strap on the jet powered rocket pants and junior bird man outta here A fine plan sir, with only two slight drawbacks... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted May 28, 2021 Report Share Posted May 28, 2021 2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: A fine plan sir, with only two slight drawbacks... Space weevil 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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