Last Cunt Standing Posted May 20, 2021 Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 Much hilarity over sunrise coffee this morning on the news that the Royal Navy has named the five new Frigates coming into service by...er...2027. Bulldog, Campbelltown, Active, Formidable and Venturer. All reportedly projecting the values of the Royal Navy into the 21st century. Let’s hope they spend less time in dry dock than the Type 45 destroyers, who’d struggle to take on my elderly neighbour on his paddle board. What a sack of shit. Always fighting the last war, these gold-braided fuckers. A Chinese teenager will likely sink them with his iPhone. As for values, well I reckon we could come up with five better names for the new additions to Her Majesty’s fleet. Answers on a postcard, ladies and gentlepersons.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Umbongo Posted May 20, 2021 Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 Ronco, Moulinex, Saisho, Hotpoint and Amstrad, to reflect the time that they're likely to be out of service and in for repair. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted May 20, 2021 Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 I’ll get back to you LC, when I’ve come up with something more positive than the vile shit running around my cynical head right now. As an aside, with Blighty being so LGBGTQ/Gender Fluid/Non-Binary/Trannyloving these days, aren’t we risking costly litigation and derision by using the ‘H’ in ‘HMS?’ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miles Posted May 20, 2021 Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 1 hour ago, Cunty BigBollox said: Ronco, Moulinex, Saisho, Hotpoint and Amstrad, to reflect the time that they're likely to be out of service and in for repair. Hitachi .. they will be all stopped by cracks. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted May 20, 2021 Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 The Good Ship Lollipop, HMS Pinafore, Titanic, Mary Celeste and the SS More Powerful Than Superman, Batman, Spider-Man And The Incredible Hulk Put Together. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted May 20, 2021 Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 Marmite, Burberry, Brexit, Sterling, Floater. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted May 20, 2021 Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 1 hour ago, Decimus said: the SS More Powerful Than Superman, Batman, Spider-Man And The Incredible Hulk Put Together. "She makes them look like a bunch of fairies..." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miles Posted May 20, 2021 Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 43 minutes ago, White Cunt said: Marmite, Burberry, Brexit, Sterling, Floater. LEAVE now! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 20, 2021 Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 Marcus Rashford, Stephen Lawrence, George Floyd, Sir Lenford Henry and Knee Taker. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted May 20, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 56 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: "She makes them look like a bunch of fairies..." Wasn’t her mortal enemy The Scunner? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted May 20, 2021 Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 Tarquin,Freddie,Phillip,George & Elton ......I assume they're all rear gunners? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted May 20, 2021 Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 Going by the mincing, featherweight, puddle-jumping cunts that will no doubt be running them, they should just number the fuckers based on the levels of the Kinsey Scale. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 20, 2021 Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 HMS will no longer be used as it suggests empire and slavery so it will be substituted with BLM. BLM Rasclaart, BLM Knee bend, BLM Bob Marley, BLM Diane Abbot and BLM Trevor McDonald. But they will only be used for Black Ops. What? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted May 20, 2021 Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 HMS Skidmark HMS Debender USS Enterpiece HMS Dicktory They could all take part in: Battle of Oooooh sound Battle of Buttland Battle of Pear Necklace Battle of Bendover Strait All captained by Seaman Stains Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted May 20, 2021 Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 4 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Wasn’t her mortal enemy The Scunner? The Scunner Campbell, played by the late Iain Cuthbertson, a highly versatile character actor in that he appeared in all sorts of different programs, but somehow always as a Scottish baddie. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 20, 2021 Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 14 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: The Scunner Campbell, played by the late Iain Cuthbertson, a highly versatile character actor in that he appeared in all sorts of different programs, but somehow always as a Scottish baddie. "Find Budgie, Budgie Bird. Hurt him... don't kill him." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted May 20, 2021 Author Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 48 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: The Scunner Campbell, played by the late Iain Cuthbertson, a highly versatile character actor in that he appeared in all sorts of different programs, but somehow always as a Scottish baddie. I always confuse him with Ian Charleson, of Chariots of Fire. Then I remember which one died of AIDS after hammering their way around Soho in the mid eighties and make my silent apologies to Mr Cuthbertson. Scottish actors have always caused me problems. I used to have a recurring dream in which Tony Roper, Mark McManus and Rikki Fulton all came into the pub in which I was for some reason employed as a barman, called me every kind of wanker for ten minutes, then set about each other in a mass brawl. I used to wake up just as Bill Paterson had me by the throat demanding I stop living in the car park of Edinburgh Castle or he’d set his Polar Bear on me. I’m sure there’s a message from my subconscious in there somewhere, but fucked if I know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Cunt Blaster Posted May 20, 2021 Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 13 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Much hilarity over sunrise coffee this morning on the news that the Royal Navy has named the five new Frigates coming into service by...er...2027. Bulldog, Campbelltown, Active, Formidable and Venturer. All reportedly projecting the values of the Royal Navy into the 21st century. Let’s hope they spend less time in dry dock than the Type 45 destroyers, who’d struggle to take on my elderly neighbour on his paddle board. What a sack of shit. Always fighting the last war, these gold-braided fuckers. A Chinese teenager will likely sink them with his iPhone. As for values, well I reckon we could come up with five better names for the new additions to Her Majesty’s fleet. Answers on a postcard, ladies and gentlepersons.... The RN is nothing to do with you Last Cuck Standing so fuck off and mind your own business where Britain's navy, military and airforce is concerned and focus on your technological and economic powerhouse(lol) of australia not getting it's shit pushed in by China. Fucking clown. Oh and greets to everyone else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted May 20, 2021 Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 1 minute ago, Cunt Blaster said: The RN is nothing to do with you Last Cuck Standing so fuck off and mind your own business where Britain's navy, military and airforce is concerned and focus on your technological and economic powerhouse(lol) of australia not getting it's shit pushed in by China. Fucking clown. Oh and greets to everyone else. @Last Cunt Standing what a coincidence! When you first made your nomination I was going to say to you about how triggered this would have made Errorreptyle if he was still around. Who can forget the little Gamesmaster freak once boldly stating that a sole Royal Navy, rusting minesweeper based in Japanese waters was single handedly responsible for intimidating the Chinese into not mounting an invasion. Now, as if by magic, here he is, with his ninth ID! Hello, Reptyle, do you still know someone who knows someone who has a Bentley? You pathetic man-child cunt. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Cunt Blaster Posted May 20, 2021 Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 3 minutes ago, Decimus said: @Last Cunt Standing what a coincidence! When you first made your nomination I was going to say to you about how triggered this would have made Errorreptyle if he was still around. Who can forget the little Gamesmaster freak once boldly stating that a sole Royal Navy, rusting minesweeper based in Japanese waters was single handedly responsible for intimidating the Chinese into not mounting an invasion. Now, as if by magic, here he is, with his ninth ID! Hello, Reptyle, do you still know someone who knows someone who has a Bentley? You pathetic man-child cunt. Bertie? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 20, 2021 Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 58 minutes ago, Cunt Blaster said: Bertie? Alright Ereptic. How's it hanging? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goober Posted May 20, 2021 Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 1 hour ago, Decimus said: @Last Cunt Standing what a coincidence! When you first made your nomination I was going to say to you about how triggered this would have made Errorreptyle if he was still around. Who can forget the little Gamesmaster freak once boldly stating that a sole Royal Navy, rusting minesweeper based in Japanese waters was single handedly responsible for intimidating the Chinese into not mounting an invasion. Now, as if by magic, here he is, with his ninth ID! Hello, Reptyle, do you still know someone who knows someone who has a Bentley? You pathetic man-child cunt. Run for the hills! We're all going to be sued. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Cunt Blaster Posted May 20, 2021 Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 13 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Alright Ereptic. How's it hanging? Are you a top or a bottom sir? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 20, 2021 Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 15 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Alright Ereptic. How's it hanging? Who is it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 20, 2021 Report Share Posted May 20, 2021 1 minute ago, camberwell gypsy said: Who is it? Probably Ereptyle dysfunction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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