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The quality of modern pornography


Guest Cocky Council Cake

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Guest Cocky Council Cake

My lords, ladys and fucking gentlemen I come to you today to bemoan the state of the modern skin-flick.

Now in the old days when I was an ankle biter, the quality was such it wouldn't take even the most impotent little shit to erupt like mount etna at the sight of the beauties on offer - for example the Mayfair mags, the film's of the 70s and 80s and all that jazz, or jizz. Proper natural beauties, no filler, no boob jobs, Botox and the like.

Fast forward 40 years and my eyes are assaulted with the sight of what looks like an African famine victim smashing in a botoxed fucking stepford wife until her cunt resembles a prolapsed basketball hoop. And this is supposed to be what exactly, erotic, or something?

Fucking hell, I'd do three lines of coke, take two viagras and you know what? I still couldn't fucking get anywhere with that utter fucking wank (pun intended).

What really fucked up is that all the millennials and gen z cunts are into all that shit, apparently it's never been as popular. Well fuck that, no wonder birth rates are dropping like a stone across the west, if all the young blood is busy having their tiny fucking minds warped by that shit.

If the situation doesn't improve I'm going to get even more coked up and lead a crack team of Ron Jeremy, Seka, Esther Rantzen and the no doubt still AIDS infected corpse of John Holmes and reclaim the San Fernando Valley.

Any of you cunts are welcome to join, just bring your own charlie and don't shake my fucking hand.

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23 minutes ago, Cocky Cunt-Features said:

My lords, ladys and fucking gentlemen I come to you today to bemoan the state of the modern skin-flick.

Now in the old days when I was an ankle biter, the quality was such it wouldn't take even the most impotent little shit to erupt like mount etna at the sight of the beauties on offer - for example the Mayfair mags, the film's of the 70s and 80s and all that jazz, or jizz. Proper natural beauties, no filler, no boob jobs, Botox and the like.

Fast forward 40 years and my eyes are assaulted with the sight of what looks like an African famine victim smashing in a botoxed fucking stepford wife until her cunt resembles a prolapsed basketball hoop. And this is supposed to be what exactly, erotic, or something?

Fucking hell, I'd do three lines of coke, take two viagras and you know what? I still couldn't fucking get anywhere with that utter fucking wank (pun intended).

What really fucked up is that all the millennials and gen z cunts are into all that shit, apparently it's never been as popular. Well fuck that, no wonder birth rates are dropping like a stone across the west, if all the young blood is busy having their tiny fucking minds warped by that shit.

If the situation doesn't improve I'm going to get even more coked up and lead a crack team of Ron Jeremy, Seka, Esther Rantzen and the no doubt still AIDS infected corpse of John Holmes and reclaim the San Fernando Valley.

Any of you cunts are welcome to join, just bring your own charlie and don't shake my fucking hand.

Women in amateur porn films who keep staring at the camera and licking their lips. DONT FUCKING DO IT! You look like a cunt and the point is supposed to be voyeurism. We're supposed to think we're watching something private. Bring back professionals like Marilyn Chambers.

And Eastern European cunts can stop uploading their shite as well. They're all shite, the women obviously don't want to be there, and the fucking title captions...

"bitches are liking his cock ass"

"stepmom mature fuck son neighbour anal cream pie!"

Learn English you fucking steroid pumped, square headed fucking booshka cunts.

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11 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Women in amateur porn films who keep staring at the camera and licking their lips. DONT FUCKING DO IT! You look like a cunt and the point is supposed to be voyeurism. We're supposed to think we're watching something private. Bring back professionals like Marilyn Chambers.

And Eastern European cunts can stop uploading their shite as well. They're all shite, the women obviously don't want to be there, and the fucking title captions...

"bitches are liking his cock ass"

"stepmom mature fuck son neighbour anal cream pie!"

Learn English you fucking steroid pumped, square headed fucking booshka cunts.

You need to change your dealer, Eric. Those chinky cunts who come up to your car when you're waiting for your 'big tasty' to cook in the car park at Catford McDonalds, aren't to be trusted "wanna buy dvd"? 

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Guest Weary&Disgusted
20 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

The slope stuff is the weirdest and needs banning. Whimpering women, straight-pubes, gungy growlers and small nobbed blokes pooning  fake schoolgirls. Disturbed yellow deviant cunts.

Apparently Donald Trump is also offended by the sound effects made by Asian women in porn.  He stated that as far as he's concerned, its just fake mews.  

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15 hours ago, Cocky Cunt-Features said:

My lords, ladys and fucking gentlemen I come to you today to bemoan the state of the modern skin-flick.

Now in the old days when I was an ankle biter, the quality was such it wouldn't take even the most impotent little shit to erupt like mount etna at the sight of the beauties on offer - for example the Mayfair mags, the film's of the 70s and 80s and all that jazz, or jizz. Proper natural beauties, no filler, no boob jobs, Botox and the like.

Fast forward 40 years and my eyes are assaulted with the sight of what looks like an African famine victim smashing in a botoxed fucking stepford wife until her cunt resembles a prolapsed basketball hoop. And this is supposed to be what exactly, erotic, or something?

Fucking hell, I'd do three lines of coke, take two viagras and you know what? I still couldn't fucking get anywhere with that utter fucking wank (pun intended).

What really fucked up is that all the millennials and gen z cunts are into all that shit, apparently it's never been as popular. Well fuck that, no wonder birth rates are dropping like a stone across the west, if all the young blood is busy having their tiny fucking minds warped by that shit.

If the situation doesn't improve I'm going to get even more coked up and lead a crack team of Ron Jeremy, Seka, Esther Rantzen and the no doubt still AIDS infected corpse of John Holmes and reclaim the San Fernando Valley.

Any of you cunts are welcome to join, just bring your own charlie and don't shake my fucking hand.

You need to be more selective in the keywords you use in your search engine (bloke down the pub advised me) no use blaming anybody else for your own fuckin' incompetence.

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2 hours ago, Joker said:

You need to be more selective in the keywords you use in your search engine (bloke down the pub advised me) no use blaming anybody else for your own fuckin' incompetence.

"Dog" and "Shit" isn't something I'd ever advise anyone to type into a porn website's search function.

Sick cunt.

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Guest Fatty
20 hours ago, Cocky Cunt-Features said:

My lords, ladys and fucking gentlemen I come to you today to bemoan the state of the modern skin-flick.

Now in the old days when I was an ankle biter, the quality was such it wouldn't take even the most impotent little shit to erupt like mount etna at the sight of the beauties on offer - for example the Mayfair mags, the film's of the 70s and 80s and all that jazz, or jizz. Proper natural beauties, no filler, no boob jobs, Botox and the like.

Fast forward 40 years and my eyes are assaulted with the sight of what looks like an African famine victim smashing in a botoxed fucking stepford wife until her cunt resembles a prolapsed basketball hoop. And this is supposed to be what exactly, erotic, or something?

Fucking hell, I'd do three lines of coke, take two viagras and you know what? I still couldn't fucking get anywhere with that utter fucking wank (pun intended).

What really fucked up is that all the millennials and gen z cunts are into all that shit, apparently it's never been as popular. Well fuck that, no wonder birth rates are dropping like a stone across the west, if all the young blood is busy having their tiny fucking minds warped by that shit.

If the situation doesn't improve I'm going to get even more coked up and lead a crack team of Ron Jeremy, Seka, Esther Rantzen and the no doubt still AIDS infected corpse of John Holmes and reclaim the San Fernando Valley.

Any of you cunts are welcome to join, just bring your own charlie and don't shake my fucking hand.

CCF, if there was an Olympic event for being a boring soppy Cunt, you would certainly be a gold medalist and world record holder! CUNT

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Guest Fatty
1 hour ago, Decimus said:

"Dog" and "Shit" isn't something I'd ever advise anyone to type into a porn website's search function.

Sick cunt.

Can’t see a problem there? Roops and Eddie pop up

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Guest Cocky Council Cake
1 minute ago, Fatty said:

CCF, if there was an Olympic event for being a boring soppy Cunt, you would certainly be a gold medalist and world record holder! CUNT

I'd say you're definitely the type to beat-off to skinny somalian cocks. Do you imagine them spunking in your face until it resembles a plasterers radio?

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Guest Fatty
2 minutes ago, Cocky Cunt-Features said:

I'd say you're definitely the type to beat-off to skinny somalian cocks. Do you imagine them spunking in your face until it resembles a plasterers radio?

Actually!

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1 minute ago, Cocky Cunt-Features said:

I'd say you're definitely the type to beat-off to skinny somalian cocks. Do you imagine them spunking in your face until it resembles a plasterers radio?

Believe me this website isn't just dedicated to your only interest in life: sex. So far you have behaved like a one trick pony up its own arse. Tedious drivel without laughs. 

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Guest Fatty
5 minutes ago, Cocky Cunt-Features said:

I'd say you're definitely the type to beat-off to skinny somalian cocks. Do you imagine them spunking in your face until it resembles a plasterers radio?

CCF, we’re gonna have some fun, now fuck off to bed, school tomorrow and mummy will be up Shortly to tuck you in

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Guest Cocky Council Cake
1 minute ago, ChildeHarold said:

Believe me this website isn't just dedicated to your only interest in life: sex. So far you have behaved like a one trick pony up its own arse. Tedious drivel without laughs. 

Irony overload! Irony overload!

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2 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

It was just a suggestion humorously spun out of your own words of advice to a poor lost soul. Have yoy considered a new career in counselling? 

I had, but I'm such a selfish cunt (much like every other poster on here) I really don't give a fuck about other people's problems.

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Just now, Joker said:

You've obviously tried, kettle-pot... cunt!

Mr Decimus is unfortunately on a MacCarthyite Witch hunt in which he sees sexual deviancy and paedophilia in every post or member except the chosen cloth cap carbuncle mafia which he is aiming to lead. A very sick individual clearly out of control who needs to go into permanent deep freeze where he came out of, I gather, on probation. 

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