Smart watches

[Guest Williewhoopassjohnson]

Fucking stupid idea, have to be in range of your phone to use them so your going to be carrying both, are you then realistically going to make a phone call from your watch like a shit 70s bond villain when you could just use the phone? No you are not. Sling the cunt in the nearest canal and if your thinking about buying a digital toaster, sling yourself in aswell. 

*sent from huawei smart toaster*

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

2 minutes ago, Williewhoopassjohnson said:

Fucking stupid idea, have to be in range of your phone to use them so your going to be carrying both, are you then realistically going to make a phone call from your watch like a shit 70s bond villain when you could just use the phone? No you are not. Sling the cunt in the nearest canal and if your thinking about buying a digital toaster, sling yourself in aswell. 

*sent from huawei smart toaster*

This 'smart' technology has gotten out of hand. Smart this and smart that simply for the sake of it, all to please gays, cunt teenagers and women who should be doing the housework etc. My girlfriend told me her mate was wanking her bloke off (whilst wearing a 'smart' watch) and it congratulated her afterwards for walking 10 miles or something. Useless shite for technology obsessed cunts.

[Guest Williewhoopassjohnson]

12 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

This 'smart' technology has gotten out of hand. Smart this and smart that simply for the sake of it, all to please gays, cunt teenagers and women who should be doing the housework etc. My girlfriend told me her mate was wanking her bloke off (whilst wearing a 'smart' watch) and it congratulated her afterwards for walking 10 miles or something. Useless shite for technology obsessed cunts.

I saw something the other day where some loon spent 250 notes on a digital toaster, it just toasts bread literally, it can't suck you off or do your tax rebate, just toast. For 250. Mind blown. 

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

9 minutes ago, Williewhoopassjohnson said:

I saw something the other day where some loon spent 250 notes on a digital toaster, it just toasts bread literally, it can't suck you off or do your tax rebate, just toast. For 250. Mind blown. 

He can probably control it from an App, set the cooking time and have the toast ready in the morning. Let's hope it electrocutes the bastard.

[Dyslexic cnut]

31 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

This 'smart' technology has gotten out of hand. Smart this and smart that simply for the sake of it, all to please gays, cunt teenagers and women who should be doing the housework etc. My girlfriend told me her mate was wanking her bloke off (whilst wearing a 'smart' watch) and it congratulated her afterwards for walking 10 miles or something. Useless shite for technology obsessed cunts.

‘Wanking’ for 10 miles, surely?

I picked Mrs Cnut & her fat sister up from the pub one night, pissed. The sinister-in-law fat skank was waving her hands about during the drive home apparently trying to trick the watch thing into telling her she’d done 10k steps! It worked apparently. Then she posted it on Facefuck. Pointless Cunt.

[Dave Umbongo]

What will they think of next? Ecstasy tablets? And call them Smarties.

[Miles]

51 minutes ago, Williewhoopassjohnson said:

I saw something the other day where some loon spent 250 notes on a digital toaster, it just toasts bread literally, it can't suck you off or do your tax rebate, just toast. For 250. Mind blown. 

Its a bit like the hair on the back of your hand.

[Dave Umbongo]

1 hour ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

This 'smart' technology has gotten out of hand. Smart this and smart that simply for the sake of it, all to please gays, cunt teenagers and women who should be doing the housework etc. My girlfriend told me her mate was wanking her bloke off (whilst wearing a 'smart' watch) and it congratulated her afterwards for walking 10 miles or something. Useless shite for technology obsessed cunts.

Your girlfriends mate? Yes, of course it was. I bet your girlfriends got a smartwatch and suffers RSI of the wrist from all the 10 mile walking she's doing with other men.

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

19 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Your girlfriends mate? Yes, of course it was. I bet your girlfriends got a smartwatch and suffers RSI of the wrist from all the 10 mile walking she's doing with other men.

Reported. 

[Guest Williewhoopassjohnson]

1 hour ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

He can probably control it from an App, set the cooking time and have the toast ready in the morning. Let's hope it electrocutes the bastard.

All that and the toast will still land butter side down, that's actual technology we need to invest in not watches 

[Guest Williewhoopassjohnson]

32 minutes ago, Dawn Chorus said:

Its a bit like the hair on the back of your hand.

That's definitely windswept, and chilled its minus 2 outside 

[Guest Weary&Disgusted]

30 minutes ago, Dawn Chorus said:

Its a bit like the hair on the back of your hand.

What ?  The hair on the back of your hand can toast bread ?  I'm quite impressed by that, Dawn.  Would you be willing to demonstrate this ability under lab conditions ?

 

[Guest Williewhoopassjohnson]

1 hour ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

‘Wanking’ for 10 miles, surely?

I picked Mrs Cnut & her fat sister up from the pub one night, pissed. The sinister-in-law fat skank was waving her hands about during the drive home apparently trying to trick the watch thing into telling her she’d done 10k steps! It worked apparently. Then she posted it on Facefuck. Pointless Cunt.

And she probably then had a big old kebab when she got in, you can trick technology but your chins will always reveal the truth 

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

21 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Your girlfriends mate? Yes, of course it was. I bet your girlfriends got a smartwatch and suffers RSI of the wrist from all the 10 mile walking she's doing with other men.

Good old Cunty BigBollox coming on to help out @Eddie the bellend. You may be right though and I've wanted to dump her for ages anyways but due to lockdown she has been worth keeping on. Lockdown is a nightmare when it comes to finding a new bit of fanny don't you think? How are you getting on? Still fucking the same old yeasty, fishy cunt for the last 10 years? Use lockdown as an excuse to get some fresh meat old boy. 

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

40 minutes ago, Dawn Chorus said:

Its a bit like the hair on the back of your hand.

Have you taken your mental tablets today? And I don't mean the Hormone replacement ones. 

[ChildeHarold]

Excellent nom. Long overdue. The add on. The marketing ploy. The same old Mr and Mrs Peloton shit made in China then shuved down people's throats in a never ending barrage of tv advertising showing the most dislijeable sweaty nadty mean faced cunts you could imagine stenchinf the living or bedsit out with their amateur spinning sessions. Fucking spinning - as old as the fucking houses. (Don't get me going on this) 

One Peloton adv shows a mixed race family all jumping on and off the fucking plastic pony taking up half a tiny spare-cum-study-small bedroom all fucking competing with each other like hamsters in a cage with the teenage boy squealing out a song his mom seems to appreciate like a dying pig. (Donna getta mia going onna this one) 

I bought a fucking smartwatch as a Crimbo pressie for someone who liked walking their arse off every day. I thought it would tell them how far they walked. They already knew. Used twice. Lying in drawer. Junk. (Bollocks) 

The birds on those Peloton machines look like the sort of cunts who are frozen stiff from the waist down with nothing in the way of tits. All veggie slimfast meals and look but don't touch iffiness. 

Fuck off you slags. 

[ChildeHarold]

11 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Reported. 

Walking frame included in the Report. With integral small shopping basket for two Iceland meals for one. 

[ChildeHarold]

1 hour ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

This 'smart' technology has gotten out of hand. Smart this and smart that simply for the sake of it, all to please gays, cunt teenagers and women who should be doing the housework etc. My girlfriend told me her mate was wanking her bloke off (whilst wearing a 'smart' watch) and it congratulated her afterwards for walking 10 miles or something. Useless shite for technology obsessed cunts.

You do go on. What about the electric dildo that keeps you alive every evening?

[Frank]

2 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

‘Wanking’ for 10 miles, surely?

I picked Mrs Cnut & her fat sister up from the pub one night, pissed. The sinister-in-law fat skank was waving her hands about during the drive home apparently trying to trick the watch thing into telling her she’d done 10k steps! It worked apparently. Then she posted it on Facefuck. Pointless Cunt.

DC it never ceases to amaze me the vast difference between some siblings. There’s Mrs C all dressed up to the nines, trim and athletic with a fantastic rack.. wonderful eclectic musical tastes and an extraordinary mind. Then you’ve got the sister.. a skank grossly overweight toothless fucking pig wearing a smart watch, with the brain of a King Billy. 

Would you like to see my Alden collection?

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

3 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

Excellent nom. Long overdue. The add on. The marketing ploy. The same old Mr and Mrs Peloton shit made in China then shuved down people's throats in a never ending barrage of tv advertising showing the most dislijeable sweaty nadty mean faced cunts you could imagine stenchinf the living or bedsit out with their amateur spinning sessions. Fucking spinning - as old as the fucking houses. (Don't get me going on this) 

One Peloton adv shows a mixed race family all jumping on and off the fucking plastic pony taking up half a tiny spare-cum-study-small bedroom all fucking competing with each other like hamsters in a cage with the teenage boy squealing out a song his mom seems to appreciate like a dying pig. (Donna getta mia going onna this one) 

I bought a fucking smartwatch as a Crimbo pressie for someone who liked walking their arse off every day. I thought it would tell them how far they walked. They already knew. Used twice. Lying in drawer. Junk. (Bollocks) 

The birds on those Peloton machines look like the sort of cunts who are frozen stiff from the waist down with nothing in the way of tits. All veggie slimfast meals and look but don't touch iffiness. 

Fuck off you slags. 

Chill out Harold, I don't know where to start with this...you are beginning to show serious signs of severe paranoia and mental deterioration. I know typing on here is better than talking to yourself but try to make some fucking sense you utter piece of cunt.

[Guest Weary&Disgusted]

1 hour ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

This 'smart' technology has gotten out of hand. Smart this and smart that simply for the sake of it, all to please gays, cunt teenagers and women who should be doing the housework etc. My girlfriend told me her mate was wanking her bloke off (whilst wearing a 'smart' watch) and it congratulated her afterwards for walking 10 miles or something. Useless shite for technology obsessed cunts.

I can see a future where people are nagged by the voices of their smart watches to tell them to drink less or change their diet.  Or where your car reports you to the police for speeding.  I am not a Luddite, but when it comes to cars, I really do think we were better off when they didn't have computers embedded in, and anyone with basic knowledge could fix them when they broke down.  I know someone who has been without their car for weeks, because the fault developed couldn't be diagnosed by regular mechanics, all because of unnecessary onboard circuitry making things ridiculously over complicated.  

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

3 minutes ago, Frank said:

DC it never ceases to amaze me the vast difference between some siblings. There’s Mrs C, dressed up to the nines, trim and athletic with a fantastic rack.. wonderful eclectic musical tastes and a extraordinary mind. Then you’ve got the sister.. a skank grossly overweight toothless fucking pig wearing a smart watch, and the brain of a King Billy. 

Would you like to see my Alden collection?

I think we all know which sister you would end up with then. You greasy fucking bellend.

[ChildeHarold]

2 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Chill out Harold, I don't know where to start with this...you are beginning to show serious signs of severe paranoia and mental deterioration. I know typing on here is better than talking to yourself but try to make some fucking sense you utter piece of cunt.

Keep showing concern and I'll chip in for a new walking frame with a built in seat so you can catch your breath going up two steps. 

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

15 minutes ago, Weary&Disgusted said:

I can see a future where people are nagged by the voices of their smart watches to tell them to drink less or change their diet.  Or where your car reports you to the police for speeding.  I am not a Luddite, but when it comes to cars, I really do think we were better off when they didn't have computers embedded in, and anyone with basic knowledge could fix them when they broke down.  I know someone who has been without their car for weeks, because the fault developed couldn't be diagnosed by regular mechanics, all because of unnecessary onboard circuitry making things ridiculously over complicated.  

I agree completely. I was going too fast in my car recently and started aquaplaning so I slowed down...only for the computer to tell me I was aquaplaning. You then have the parking aids, camera's etc and it's like you don't have to have much driving ability anymore. It's almost like they are trying to bring in driverless cars...they wouldn't would they?

[Old Chap Raasclaat]

9 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

Keep showing concern and I'll chip in for a new walking frame with a built in seat so you can catch your breath going up two steps. 

Chill out Harold, it's really is getting sad witnessing this brave but stupid fight against your inevitable death. It seems you are the one thing that unifies the cunts on here in that we all want you fuck off.