ratcum Posted January 22, 2021 Report Share Posted January 22, 2021 1 hour ago, Stubby Pecker said: “Enjoy tucking into a bit of sheep”? I bet you do when stumbling out of the pub after 12 pints and a couple of lines off the bog seat- those saucy bleetings the other side of the hedgerows in your rural home are too much to resist You filthy sheep buggering fen monkey peasant I don't know when Poet Laureate is up for grabs next Stub, but you make Ted Hughes look like a wife beater. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted January 22, 2021 Report Share Posted January 22, 2021 On 20/01/2021 at 09:28, Jiggerycock said: Now here's a great cul-de-sac for our little sewing circle to explore! 'Little known cunts from history' The ref who missed Pedro Mendes 'goal' for us against Man Utd Andre Nel Erich Hoeneker Engin Raghip Have at it you crazy bastards!! Nice one, Jiggers, for the Erich Hoeneker addition. I'm sure I'll more cerebral members will recall this cunt as the former leader of German Democratic Republic and a prize cunt. What was actually democratic about the Republic is beyond me. I believe Merkel was a minor functionary in this regime, and her reason for flooding Germany with terrorists is probably shame regarding the Stasi ect. I'm of the opinion that Roops is probably not Welsh, and was no doubt intercepting calls in Dresden in the 1980's... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted January 22, 2021 Report Share Posted January 22, 2021 1 hour ago, Major Cunt said: Nice one, Jiggers, for the Erich Hoeneker addition. I'm sure I'll more cerebral members will recall this cunt as the former leader of German Democratic Republic and a prize cunt. What was actually democratic about the Republic is beyond me. I believe Merkel was a minor functionary in this regime, and her reason for flooding Germany with terrorists is probably shame regarding the Stasi ect. I'm of the opinion that Roops is probably not Welsh, and was no doubt intercepting calls in Dresden in the 1980's... There are layers of Smiley's People diluted with spoof spy movies washed down with aviation fuel grade schnapps which lead me to the conclusion you are the THIRD MAN. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 22, 2021 Report Share Posted January 22, 2021 1 hour ago, ChildeHarold said: There are layers of Smiley's People diluted with spoof spy movies washed down with aviation fuel grade schnapps which lead me to the conclusion you are the THIRD MAN. Could be worse, he could be the little drummer girl. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted January 22, 2021 Report Share Posted January 22, 2021 black on black killing on the TV. An uncomfortable synergy for some. fuckin chinese 😑 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted January 22, 2021 Report Share Posted January 22, 2021 59 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Could be worse, he could be the little drummer girl. You know how to press my buttons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 22, 2021 Report Share Posted January 22, 2021 1 minute ago, ChildeHarold said: You know how to press my buttons. He's probably been using your webcam to watch you press them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuggerLugs Posted January 22, 2021 Report Share Posted January 22, 2021 On 20/01/2021 at 20:42, Eric Cuntman said: Sprouts Mexicane, with Vodka margarine. You've just reminded me it's been a while since I indulged in my favourite dish of "Menace Pie". An infinitely variable dish depending on the current contents of one's pantry, fridge and how pissed you are. The base contents however never change, baked beans and oxtail soup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 22, 2021 Report Share Posted January 22, 2021 8 minutes ago, BuggerLugs said: You've just reminded me it's been a while since I indulged in my favourite dish of "Menace Pie". An infinitely variable dish depending on the current contents of one's pantry, fridge and how pissed you are. The base contents however never change, baked beans and oxtail soup. What are you drinking? I wasn't going to type 'What', but that would've been silly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 22, 2021 Report Share Posted January 22, 2021 30 minutes ago, BuggerLugs said: You've just reminded me it's been a while since I indulged in my favourite dish of "Menace Pie". An infinitely variable dish depending on the current contents of one's pantry, fridge and how pissed you are. The base contents however never change, baked beans and oxtail soup. Buggsy, as a prodigious imbiber of raw spirits and the sort of man I suspect wouldn't be above giving his missus a well-deserved clip if earnt, I've always valued your opinion on matters of manliness. With that in mind, I want your opinion on my latest purchase. I've ditched the fags and invested in a vape. Not just any vape, but a Petersham Westminster iTouch E-Pipe. Am I now a pretentious homosexual? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goober Posted January 22, 2021 Report Share Posted January 22, 2021 5 minutes ago, Decimus said: Buggsy, as a prodigious imbiber of raw spirits and the sort of man I suspect wouldn't be above giving his missus a well-deserved clip if earnt, I've always valued your opinion on matters of manliness. With that in mind, I want your opinion on my latest purchase. I've ditched the fags and invested in a vape. Not just any vape, but a Petersham Westminster iTouch E-Pipe. Am I now a pretentious homosexual? Are you shoving it up your arse? If so, definitely. Are you using it in public? Then probably. Are you just using at home, sat on the sofa in your tweeds and smoking jacket, whilst telling your beloved to "get in the kitchen and make my fucking dinner"? If so, juries out, but you probably just about get the benefit of the doubt. You should have gone full Gandalf DNA60 and grown a fucking massive beard. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 22, 2021 Report Share Posted January 22, 2021 11 minutes ago, Decimus said: Buggsy, as a prodigious imbiber of raw spirits and the sort of man I suspect wouldn't be above giving his missus a well-deserved clip if earnt, I've always valued your opinion on matters of manliness. With that in mind, I want your opinion on my latest purchase. I've ditched the fags and invested in a vape. Not just any vape, but a Petersham Westminster iTouch E-Pipe. Am I now a pretentious homosexual? Yes. Frank will be after fashion advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted January 22, 2021 Report Share Posted January 22, 2021 6 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Yes. Frank will be after fashion advice. Fashion a noose out of a length of sturdy rope and hang yourself immediately, is my advice for Frank if you're lurking, which of course you are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 22, 2021 Report Share Posted January 22, 2021 32 minutes ago, Decimus said: Am I now a pretentious homosexual? Now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted January 22, 2021 Report Share Posted January 22, 2021 On 20/01/2021 at 13:50, Joker said: Which one, God or Satan? Lord Sumption. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 22, 2021 Report Share Posted January 22, 2021 56 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Now? I was 99.5% positive that someone would reply with the above, but I was almost certain that it would be the MikeD-lite @Joker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 22, 2021 Report Share Posted January 22, 2021 38 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said: Lord Sumption. I had an Irish friend called Conn Sumption. He was such a wheeze. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted January 23, 2021 Report Share Posted January 23, 2021 10 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: I had an Irish friend called Conn Sumption. He was such a wheeze. You're killing me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 23, 2021 Report Share Posted January 23, 2021 9 hours ago, ChildeHarold said: You're killing me. If only. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuggerLugs Posted January 23, 2021 Report Share Posted January 23, 2021 On 22/01/2021 at 20:11, Decimus said: With that in mind, I want your opinion on my latest purchase. I've ditched the fags and invested in a vape. Not just any vape, but a Petersham Westminster iTouch E-Pipe. Am I now a pretentious homosexual? I'm inclined to imagine you more in the role of pretentious pseudo casual intellectual. I can picture it now, you're attending an underground lockdown event hosted by Professor Chris Whitty at his country retreat near Cromer. Whilst discussing high brow Covid strategy with the host, you nonchalantly extract your pipe, exhale a large cloud of imitation Gauloises (nuclear strength) and whilst gesturing toward him with the mouthpiece, state, "Chris, would you like to suck my dick?" 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuggerLugs Posted January 23, 2021 Report Share Posted January 23, 2021 On 22/01/2021 at 19:50, Eric Cuntman said: What are you drinking? I wasn't going to type 'What', but that would've been silly. Eric, I swear I was stone cold sober. Menace pie will be my killer dish when I smash the Masterchef 2022 title. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 23, 2021 Report Share Posted January 23, 2021 1 hour ago, BuggerLugs said: I'm inclined to imagine you more in the role of pretentious pseudo casual intellectual. I can picture it now, you're attending an underground lockdown event hosted by Professor Chris Whitty at his country retreat near Cromer. Whilst discussing high brow Covid strategy with the host, you nonchalantly extract your pipe, exhale a large cloud of imitation Gauloises (nuclear strength) and whilst gesturing toward him with the mouthpiece, state, "Chris, would you like to suck my dick?" Quality. I would give it a like, but I've just spunked one on your lesser post above, and I owe one to WD40, so you've shit out I'm afraid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted January 23, 2021 Report Share Posted January 23, 2021 1 hour ago, BuggerLugs said: I'm inclined to imagine you more in the role of pretentious pseudo casual intellectual. I can picture it now, you're attending an underground lockdown event hosted by Professor Chris Whitty at his country retreat near Cromer. Whilst discussing high brow Covid strategy with the host, you nonchalantly extract your pipe, exhale a large cloud of imitation Gauloises (nuclear strength) and whilst gesturing toward him with the mouthpiece, state, "Chris, would you like to suck my dick?" Henry Blogg was from Cromer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted January 24, 2021 Report Share Posted January 24, 2021 52 minutes ago, ratcum said: Henry Blogg was from Cromer. Who's Trevor Blinker, is he an abomination in the eyes of Lemmy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted January 24, 2021 Report Share Posted January 24, 2021 14 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: Who's Trevor Blinker, is he an abomination in the eyes of Lemmy? Trevor's alright when you get to know him Authoritah. When he relaxes and says "Call me Trey", it all makes sense Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.