Hokey Gingers Posted December 24, 2020 Report Share Posted December 24, 2020 What an ungrateful bunch of bastards. You can see them doing the mental arithmetic as they remove the wrapping paper calculating what they spent on you, the outstanding difference and how many presents are left. What they don`t see is the twenty minute wait in the queue the thoughtful and discerning purchaser has made at Poundland or BM Bargains. Blister packs are covid proof and is it my fault Sony don`t shrink wrap Playstation 5`s ? Christ almighty your Grandfather got an orange for Christmas ffs. Accept it for what it is, it`s the thought that counts and cheers for that McCallan 30 year old Single Malt, you shouldn`t have. Seriously though you shouldn`t have... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Umbongo Posted December 24, 2020 Report Share Posted December 24, 2020 Should have brought them an I-pad mini in November for £349 because exactly the same thing is £399 now. That'll learn 'em. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted December 24, 2020 Report Share Posted December 24, 2020 1 minute ago, Cunty BigBollox said: Should have brought them an I-pad mini in November for £349 because exactly the same thing is £399 now. That'll learn 'em. That's still expensive for a sanitary towel. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Umbongo Posted December 24, 2020 Report Share Posted December 24, 2020 4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: That's still expensive for a sanitary towel. I bet you would still pay that if it had one of Dawn Chorus's 28 day eggs on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted December 24, 2020 Report Share Posted December 24, 2020 19 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said: I bet you would still pay that if it had one of Dawn Chorus's 28 day eggs on it. Thanks. That's just fucked my afternoon bacon sarnie plan. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted December 26, 2020 Report Share Posted December 26, 2020 I got a pair of socks, and a book detailing the creativity behind Steely Dan's Aja (possibly the greatest jazz/rock/pop album ever made IMNSHO) I bought fuck-all, people are cunts (but you already knew that, didn't you?) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted December 27, 2020 Report Share Posted December 27, 2020 On 24/12/2020 at 14:40, Cunty BigBollox said: Should have brought them an I-pad mini in November for £349 because exactly the same thing is £399 now. That'll learn 'em. My local Poundland doesn’t seem to have any of them in stock. But while searching every aisle in vain I did manage to find a set of battery operated Christmas tree lights, (7 LEDs,batteries not included) and a multipack of very poor quality double sided tape which isn’t sticky on either side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted December 28, 2020 Report Share Posted December 28, 2020 I left that life at the age of 16 when I axe murdered all my family one bloody Christmas many years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted December 28, 2020 Report Share Posted December 28, 2020 9 hours ago, JohnnySaucePants said: Lifes full of pleasant surprises it seems, even at Xmas. I see your not quite the mean spirited miserable, chavy, charity shop thieving, penny pinching, benefit scrounging, soup kitchen slurping, skid marked underwear wearing, pox faced, weasley little cunt i thought you were after all. Hope you had at least a half decent Xmas. Reading this I had a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach that I may only hate you half as much as I thought I did. On the bright side however, it’s still a hell of a lot. Happy New Year (sort of) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted December 28, 2020 Report Share Posted December 28, 2020 15 hours ago, King Billy said: a multipack of very poor quality double sided tape which isn’t sticky on either side. So, basically it's 'tape', you can't stick it to anything, but you could use it to tie your victims hands and feet while you torture them, all in all, not a bad result! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted December 28, 2020 Report Share Posted December 28, 2020 3 hours ago, ChildeHarold said: I left that life at the age of 16 when I axe murdered all my family one bloody Christmas many years ago. I expect they thought it was a price worth paying to not have to see you ever again. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted December 28, 2020 Report Share Posted December 28, 2020 I got a 'Brut 33' gift set this year. My bathroom smells of good old fashioned masculinity and is now completely non-gay. Now that the authentic aroma of Henry Cooper has been re-launched, perhaps it will encourage more young men not to be benders. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goober Posted December 28, 2020 Report Share Posted December 28, 2020 Just now, Eric Cuntman said: I got a 'Brut 33' gift set this year. My bathroom smells of good old fashioned masculinity and is now completely non-gay. Now that the authentic aroma of Henry Cooper has been re-launched, perhaps it will encourage more young men not to be benders. ...or maybe they've put a double dose of hormones in it to trick lthe last of the unfeminized. This time next week you'll be tucking your meat and two veg between your legs and dancing naked in front of your mirror. Vinnie Jones is a cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Umbongo Posted December 28, 2020 Report Share Posted December 28, 2020 4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I got a 'Brut 33' gift set this year. My bathroom smells of good old fashioned masculinity and is now completely non-gay. Now that the authentic aroma of Henry Cooper has been re-launched, perhaps it will encourage more young men not to be benders. Unless Faberge decide to expand the range and start producing moisturisers, face scrubs and other gay shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted December 28, 2020 Report Share Posted December 28, 2020 3 hours ago, King Billy said: I expect they thought it was a price worth paying to not have to see you ever again. By Jerry Lewis standards you are a dumbo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted December 28, 2020 Report Share Posted December 28, 2020 33 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said: By Jerry Lewis standards you are a dumbo. High praise indeed from our resident Dumbomeister. Try harder or give up while you’re still only miles behind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted December 28, 2020 Report Share Posted December 28, 2020 38 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said: Unless Faberge decide to expand the range and start producing moisturisers, face scrubs and other gay shit. I’ve been finding it very difficult to find my usual anal bleaching kit in Boots. It must be all that pre Christmas panic buying I heard about on the news. Brexit I guess. I’ll PM Panzy to see what he thinks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Williewhoopassjohnson Posted December 28, 2020 Report Share Posted December 28, 2020 1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said: I got a 'Brut 33' gift set this year. My bathroom smells of good old fashioned masculinity and is now completely non-gay. Now that the authentic aroma of Henry Cooper has been re-launched, perhaps it will encourage more young men not to be benders. Hi karate and blue stratos are proper gear Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted December 28, 2020 Report Share Posted December 28, 2020 Just now, Williewhoopassjohnson said: Hi karate and blue stratos are proper gear Blue stratos...... quality!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Williewhoopassjohnson Posted December 28, 2020 Report Share Posted December 28, 2020 2 minutes ago, cuntspotter said: Blue stratos...... quality!! Old school rules that, i brought some old spice deodorant once in a panic purchase and my mrs gently told me if i continued to arrive home smelling like her grandad she would spark me. Birds have got no class eh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Umbongo Posted December 28, 2020 Report Share Posted December 28, 2020 27 minutes ago, King Billy said: I’ve been finding it very difficult to find my usual anal bleaching kit in Boots. It must be all that pre Christmas panic buying I heard about on the news. Brexit I guess. I’ll PM Panzy to see what he thinks. Get yourself one of those Toilet Duck Fresh Disc things. Deposit one of the fresh discs in your crevase as soon as you wake up and leave it there. At the end of the day your brown eye will either be super bright or bleeding profusely. If it's bleeding profusely PM Punkape, he has experience and he may even let you have some glue like substance to make it better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Umbongo Posted December 28, 2020 Report Share Posted December 28, 2020 6 minutes ago, Williewhoopassjohnson said: Hi karate and blue stratos are proper gear They call you karate when you're having a wank because you might as well have an empty hand, you nano-penised cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Williewhoopassjohnson Posted December 28, 2020 Report Share Posted December 28, 2020 Just now, Cunty BigBollox said: They call you karate when you're having a wank because you might as well have an empty hand, you nano-penised cunt. Better an empty hand than an empty head you thick cunt, if brains were chocolate you wouldn't have enough to fill a smartie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted December 28, 2020 Report Share Posted December 28, 2020 3 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said: Deposit one of the fresh discs in your crevase... There's a fairly significant difference between a crevice and a crevasse, although maybe not in this case? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted December 28, 2020 Report Share Posted December 28, 2020 2 minutes ago, Williewhoopassjohnson said: Old school rules that, i brought some old spice deodorant once in a panic purchase and my mrs gently told me if i continued to arrive home smelling like her grandad she would spark me. Birds have got no class eh Uncanny. My grandad used to bath in that shit as well. Brut was the iconic 80s one for me. Actually smells nice and at the time, you could buy the watered down '33' version in the plastic bottle for a quid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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