ProfB Posted December 9, 2020 Report Share Posted December 9, 2020 After the unfortunate Spanish 🐷s in blankets episode in M&S, comes disaster in Argos, they tried to sell me a 1/2 Christmas tree, apparently these are trendy? I wanted a full tree, what am I supposed to do - buy two halves, or three halves for an extra bushy tree. I’ve got a lot of balls to hang on it & a glamorous fairy. Only someone with half a brain wants half a tree - half a turkey please, & sprout halves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfB Posted December 9, 2020 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2020 Sorry I have posted recently, I've been looking out for a Christmas Tree 🌲 🎄 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted December 9, 2020 Report Share Posted December 9, 2020 They sell upside down trees as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southerncunt Posted December 9, 2020 Report Share Posted December 9, 2020 Fuck me dead. This thing must be an engineered bot with the sole purpose of determining what statisticians call “Absolute Fuckwit”, the standard by which all other fuckwits are measured. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted December 9, 2020 Report Share Posted December 9, 2020 13 minutes ago, ProfB said: Sorry I havent posted recently, I've been looking out for a Christmas Tree 🌲 🎄 Please don't apologise, on behalf of every other member, I can assure you it's entirely fucking unnecessary 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted December 9, 2020 Report Share Posted December 9, 2020 6 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: They sell upside down trees as well. Fuck, I didn't realise who's nom this was. I just answered without looking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfB Posted December 9, 2020 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2020 Thanks for your responses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted December 9, 2020 Report Share Posted December 9, 2020 42 minutes ago, southerncunt said: This thing must be an engineered bot with the sole purpose of determining what statisticians call “Absolute Fuckwit”, the standard by which all other fuckwits are measured. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Weary&Disgusted Posted December 9, 2020 Report Share Posted December 9, 2020 5 hours ago, ProfB said: After the unfortunate Spanish 🐷s in blankets episode in M&S, comes disaster in Argos, they tried to sell me a 1/2 Christmas tree, apparently these are trendy? I wanted a full tree, what am I supposed to do - buy two halves, or three halves for an extra bushy tree. I’ve got a lot of balls to hang on it & a glamorous fairy. Only someone with half a brain wants half a tree - half a turkey please, & sprout halves. Never mind that, more importantly, what are you getting me for Tinsel day ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted December 9, 2020 Report Share Posted December 9, 2020 6 hours ago, ProfB said: After the unfortunate Spanish 🐷s in blankets episode in M&S, comes disaster in Argos, they tried to sell me a 1/2 Christmas tree, apparently these are trendy? I wanted a full tree, what am I supposed to do - buy two halves, or three halves for an extra bushy tree. I’ve got a lot of balls to hang on it & a glamorous fairy. Only someone with half a brain wants half a tree - half a turkey please, & sprout halves. What did Tommy Steele find in his Christmas pudding? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted December 9, 2020 Report Share Posted December 9, 2020 6 hours ago, ProfB said: Sorry I have posted recently, I've been looking out for a Christmas Tree 🌲 🎄 @King Billy’s got loads. Only thing is, he’s using @Neiland his van to deliver them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted December 9, 2020 Report Share Posted December 9, 2020 3 hours ago, Weary&Disgusted said: Never mind that, more importantly, what are you getting me for Tinsel day ? Tinsillitis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted December 9, 2020 Report Share Posted December 9, 2020 Who in twattery goes to Argos for...erm...ANY FUCKING THING? And then admits it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted December 9, 2020 Report Share Posted December 9, 2020 4 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said: Who in twattery goes to Argos for...erm...ANY FUCKING THING? And then admits it? I got a dartboard in Argos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prints Harry Posted December 9, 2020 Report Share Posted December 9, 2020 3 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: What did Tommy Steele find in his Christmas pudding? Thruppemce. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dyslexic cnut Posted December 9, 2020 Report Share Posted December 9, 2020 31 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I got a dartboard in Argos. You can only get things for pricks there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted December 9, 2020 Report Share Posted December 9, 2020 4 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: What did Tommy Steele find in his Christmas pudding? Raisins Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted December 9, 2020 Report Share Posted December 9, 2020 6 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said: You can only get things for pricks there. I'll let that go. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted December 9, 2020 Report Share Posted December 9, 2020 11 hours ago, ProfB said: After the unfortunate Spanish 🐷s in blankets episode in M&S, comes disaster in Argos, they tried to sell me a 1/2 Christmas tree, apparently these are trendy? I wanted a full tree, what am I supposed to do - buy two halves, or three halves for an extra bushy tree. I’ve got a lot of balls to hang on it & a glamorous fairy. Only someone with half a brain wants half a tree - half a turkey please, & sprout halves. Terrible news. Where will you hang your balls this Christmas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted December 10, 2020 Report Share Posted December 10, 2020 18 hours ago, ProfB said: After the unfortunate Spanish 🐷s in blankets episode in M&S, comes disaster in Argos, they tried to sell me a 1/2 Christmas tree, apparently these are trendy? I wanted a full tree, what am I supposed to do - buy two halves, or three halves for an extra bushy tree. I’ve got a lot of balls to hang on it & a glamorous fairy. Only someone with half a brain wants half a tree - half a turkey please, & sprout halves. I'm intrigued. Is it just the top half or the bottom half they sell? or do you get a choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfB Posted December 10, 2020 Author Report Share Posted December 10, 2020 33 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said: I'm intrigued. Is it just the top half or the bottom half they sell? or do you get a choice. Let Agros explain to BigBollox: Half a tree might sound a bit odd, but bear with us, there's a method in our madness. A huge hit last Christmas, this half tree is designed for smaller rooms. It sits flush against the wall, only taking up half the space (45cm front-to-back). And who looks at the back of their tree anyway? To save you hours of searching for (and untangling) last year's lights, the tree comes pre-lit! We've strung 120 bulbs of warm white light around the tree, so you won't have to. WHO LOOKS AT THE BACK OF THIER TREE? & 'so you don't have to' quote. I don't do bulbs, not with my balls. 7 hours ago, White Cunt said: Terrible news. Where will you hang your balls this Christmas? Went to Homebase, for a normal tree, my balls will glisten over the festive period. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted December 10, 2020 Report Share Posted December 10, 2020 23 hours ago, Decimus said: Please don't apologise, on behalf of every other member, I can assure you it's entirely fucking unnecessary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted December 10, 2020 Report Share Posted December 10, 2020 4 hours ago, ProfB said: Let Agros explain to BigBollox: Half a tree might sound a bit odd, but bear with us, there's a method in our madness. A huge hit last Christmas, this half tree is designed for smaller rooms. It sits flush against the wall, only taking up half the space (45cm front-to-back). And who looks at the back of their tree anyway? To save you hours of searching for (and untangling) last year's lights, the tree comes pre-lit! We've strung 120 bulbs of warm white light around the tree, so you won't have to. WHO LOOKS AT THE BACK OF THIER TREE? & 'so you don't have to' quote. I don't do bulbs, not with my balls. Went to Homebase, for a normal tree, my balls will glisten over the festive period. Problem solved! All that is left is to apply some baby oil and a liberal sprinkling of glitter for extra sparkle. And don't forget to stuff that fairy on the top. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted December 10, 2020 Report Share Posted December 10, 2020 17 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said: @King Billy’s got loads. Only thing is, he’s using @Neiland his van to deliver them. @King Billy is either gonna have to slash his prices or his trees. Mind you, he's still got the massage parlour to fall back on. Punkers is obsessed with the place which leads me to the conclusion he's finally ready to loose his virginity (to a woman). Being the batter may prove a bridge to far with the strain creating a brain sized prolapse. Strange man... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted December 10, 2020 Report Share Posted December 10, 2020 18 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: What did Tommy Steele find in his Christmas pudding? A Little White Bull? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.