ProfB Posted November 21, 2020 Report Share Posted November 21, 2020 In M&S the furloughed pushed & shoved me as I reached out for a packet that said Pigs in Blankets on it, got home & saw the bastard things are Spanish style chorizos & pancetta - skin from Spanish pigs bollox. Pigs in Blankets are a Great British invention - never did I expect M&S to trick me in such a downright wicked manner. I hope my spouts are grown in Norfolk - the sea air wafting over them… mmmh and planted using lunar gardening guarantees award winning bulbous sprouts. Merry Christmas 🎄 everyone 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted November 21, 2020 Report Share Posted November 21, 2020 What is this load of old bollocks, Prof? I normally associate your prose with battering the dung hatches of recently passed celebrities, and why the fuck hasn't Harvey Price had been nominated? The cunts just turned 18. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted November 21, 2020 Report Share Posted November 21, 2020 4 minutes ago, Major Cunt said: What is this load of old bollocks, Prof? I normally associate your prose with battering the dung hatches of recently passed celebrities, and why the fuck hasn't Harvey Price had been nominated? The cunts just turned 18. Oh to be young and dancing your pretty little arse off in public. Are you still flexible? Do you stretch in the morning? Name your favourite Fred and Ginger movie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted November 21, 2020 Report Share Posted November 21, 2020 13 minutes ago, Major Cunt said: What is this load of old bollocks, Prof? I normally associate your prose with battering the dung hatches of recently passed celebrities, and why the fuck hasn't Harvey Price had been nominated? The cunts just turned 18. You nominate him then Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted November 21, 2020 Report Share Posted November 21, 2020 24 minutes ago, ProfB said: In M&S the furloughed pushed & shoved me as I reached out for a packet that said Pigs in Blankets on it, got home & saw the bastard things are Spanish style chorizos & pancetta - skin from Spanish pigs bollox. Pigs in Blankets are a Great British invention - never did I expect M&S to trick me in such a downright wicked manner. I hope my spouts are grown in Norfolk - the sea air wafting over them… mmmh and planted using lunar gardening guarantees award winning bulbous sprouts. Merry Christmas 🎄 everyone But did you manage to find Christmas tree shaped crumpets? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted November 21, 2020 Report Share Posted November 21, 2020 21 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said: Oh to be young and dancing your pretty little arse off in public. Are you still flexible? Do you stretch in the morning? Name your favourite Fred and Ginger movie. I dunno what fucking drugs you're on, but do pm me, and let me know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted November 21, 2020 Report Share Posted November 21, 2020 14 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: You nominate him then I might, or I might nom you in the Open Corner. You daft didicoy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted November 21, 2020 Report Share Posted November 21, 2020 1 minute ago, Major Cunt said: I might, or I might nom you in the Open Corner. You daft didicoy! Go on then. You minor cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted November 21, 2020 Report Share Posted November 21, 2020 5 minutes ago, Major Cunt said: I dunno what fucking drugs you're on, but do pm me, and let me know. Life my dear boy. Life. And Strictly. Toe tappingly perfect combo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted November 21, 2020 Report Share Posted November 21, 2020 2 hours ago, ProfB said: In M&S the furloughed pushed & shoved me as I reached out for a packet that said Pigs in Blankets on it, got home & saw the bastard things are Spanish style chorizos & pancetta - skin from Spanish pigs bollox. Pigs in Blankets are a Great British invention - never did I expect M&S to trick me in such a downright wicked manner. I hope my spouts are grown in Norfolk - the sea air wafting over them… mmmh and planted using lunar gardening guarantees award winning bulbous sprouts. Merry Christmas 🎄 everyone Your sprouts will be carefully picked by the skilled migrant force waved in for the task. Have you booked a turkey? 🇹🇷 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfB Posted November 22, 2020 Author Report Share Posted November 22, 2020 15 hours ago, Major Cunt said: What is this load of old bollocks, Prof? I normally associate your prose with battering the dung hatches of recently passed celebrities, and why the fuck hasn't Harvey Price had been nominated? The cunts just turned 18. Why is Harvey a potential corner topic - he has health problems. Katie Price is a corner topic, but they’d be room for nowt else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfB Posted November 22, 2020 Author Report Share Posted November 22, 2020 15 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: But did you manage to find Christmas tree shaped crumpets? Are they in the shops yet? Going through my Quaker Oats phase - just come out of weetabix one, after a brief flirtation with spoon sized shreddies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted November 22, 2020 Report Share Posted November 22, 2020 16 hours ago, ProfB said: In M&S the furloughed pushed & shoved me as I reached out for a packet that said Pigs in Blankets on it, got home & saw the bastard things are Spanish style chorizos & pancetta - skin from Spanish pigs bollox. Pigs in Blankets are a Great British invention - never did I expect M&S to trick me in such a downright wicked manner. I hope my spouts are grown in Norfolk - the sea air wafting over them… mmmh and planted using lunar gardening guarantees award winning bulbous sprouts. Merry Christmas 🎄 everyone Try going to a proper butchers shop and purchase the requisite sausages and bacon you lazy sod. M&S is full or revolting lower middle class COVID dodgers with cheap handbags and furtive glances. In addition as Christmas approaches...fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted November 22, 2020 Report Share Posted November 22, 2020 16 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: You nominate him then No doubt travellers “pigs in blankets” will be hedgehogs rolled in a blanket of badger belly.... lol. Fuck off etc. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted November 22, 2020 Report Share Posted November 22, 2020 1 hour ago, Earl of Punkape said: No doubt travellers “pigs in blankets” will be hedgehogs rolled in a blanket of badger belly.... lol. Fuck off etc. Berk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted November 22, 2020 Report Share Posted November 22, 2020 3 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said: Try going to a proper butchers shop and purchase the requisite sausages and bacon you lazy sod. M&S is full or revolting lower middle class COVID dodgers with cheap handbags and furtive glances. In addition as Christmas approaches...fuck off. Nonsense. Ladies who shop at local butchers’ tend to wear horrible anoraks and are mostly very overweight. Their handbags look like Oxfam’ rejects. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted November 22, 2020 Report Share Posted November 22, 2020 1 hour ago, White Cunt said: Nonsense. Ladies who shop at local butchers’ tend to wear horrible anoraks and are mostly very overweight. Their handbags look like Oxfam’ rejects. Spanish sausage, German beef, French veal the EU is very meaty matey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted November 22, 2020 Report Share Posted November 22, 2020 On my trip to M&S food hall today, I had the chance to peruse the meat section. Guess what I found? Both British pigs in blankets AND a chorizo version. Thus I declare this nom null and void. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfB Posted November 23, 2020 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2020 Yes they have both, but a furloughed HMRC employee & others made me grab the wrong packet - they were all together - I say the Brits & Spans are a different kettle of fish? The last thing I want Christmas day is a spicy sausage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted November 23, 2020 Report Share Posted November 23, 2020 3 hours ago, ProfB said: Yes they have both, but a furloughed HMRC employee & others made me grab the wrong packet - they were all together - I say the Brits & Spans are a different kettle of fish? The last thing I want Christmas day is a spicy sausage. I can but refer you to Little Britain "What that boy (Daffyd) needs is a big fat cock up his arse" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted November 23, 2020 Report Share Posted November 23, 2020 5 hours ago, ProfB said: Yes they have both, but a furloughed HMRC employee & others made me grab the wrong packet - they were all together - I say the Brits & Spans are a different kettle of fish? The last thing I want Christmas day is a spicy sausage. So you put it in the basket (without reading the label) and went through the checkout again without reading the label. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfB Posted November 28, 2020 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2020 On 23/11/2020 at 18:17, White Cunt said: So you put it in the basket (without reading the label) and went through the checkout again without reading the label. Yes. I now have the correct ones - they say 'delish' on the packet. If any corner member living locally wants the Spanish ones they are in my freezer. Please PM me for a collection time, then I'll leave them out at the bottom of my drive under a bush at a time convenient to you. Thanks, ProfB 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Umbongo Posted November 28, 2020 Report Share Posted November 28, 2020 On 22/11/2020 at 13:27, White Cunt said: Nonsense. Ladies who shop at local butchers’ tend to wear horrible anoraks and are mostly very overweight. Their handbags look like Oxfam’ rejects. They look like they just stepped out of a charity shop after a bomb had gone off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Umbongo Posted November 28, 2020 Report Share Posted November 28, 2020 3 hours ago, ProfB said: Yes. I now have the correct ones - they say 'delish' on the packet. If any corner member living locally wants the Spanish ones they are in my freezer. Please PM me for a collection time, then I'll leave them out at the bottom of my drive under a bush at a time convenient to you. Thanks, ProfB Great. What's the address where I can cave your stupid fucking skull in?, sorry, i meant collect the sausages? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfB Posted November 28, 2020 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2020 11 hours ago, Cunty BigBollox said: Great. What's the address where I can cave your stupid fucking skull in?, sorry, i meant collect the sausages? Judging by your photo, someone has already collected your sausage - it's missing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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