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Mongs with offroad cars that don't offroad


Guest Williewhoopassjohnson

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6 minutes ago, Williewhoopassjohnson said:

Oh i did actually mean the sit down ones yeah, the ones on the stand up scooters also need knocking under an artic just out of principle, really like to clothesline someone off one. They can do 30mph aswell flat out 

Some of them belt around on the pavement as well. I took the grandkids to the coast the other week and there were little cunts zipping around on the promenade. Been nice to bump one over the wall and into the channel. 

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10 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Some of them belt around on the pavement as well. I took the grandkids to the coast the other week and there were little cunts zipping around on the promenade. Been nice to bump one over the wall and into the channel. 

Crikey you’re a grandmother....

Do you still have any of your own teeth?

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Guest Williewhoopassjohnson
35 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Some of them belt around on the pavement as well. I took the grandkids to the coast the other week and there were little cunts zipping around on the promenade. Been nice to bump one over the wall and into the channel. 

I'd have quite liked to do that in hastings, right off the end of the pier. To the bartender mainly as it was five pound fucking fifty for a san miguel in a plastic glass 

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Guest Williewhoopassjohnson
19 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

And mongs still pay it.

Mate i was on the end of a bloody pier, it was that or no beer. The only other alternative being jump. 

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Guest Weary&Disgusted
3 hours ago, Ape™️ said:

The only mud that gets on BMW and Audi “off-roaders“ is from a playing field, when they go to collect Algernon and Clement from rugger. As you say, Land Rover / Range Rover are truly capable off-road vehicles that are also pleasant road cars. However, they are also generally purchased by wankers, with he biggest of these wankers purchasing imaginary ones.

How do you go about purchasing an imaginary car ?  Are there dealers with dedicated franchises ?

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2 minutes ago, Weary&Disgusted said:

How do you go about purchasing an imaginary car ?  Are there dealers with dedicated franchises ?

You’ll need to speak to imaginary posh-boy @Earl of Punkapeabout this. But be warned - he may be an imaginary posh-boy, but there’s nothing imaginary about his raving homosexuality.

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Guest Weary&Disgusted
1 minute ago, Ape™️ said:

You’ll need to speak to imaginary posh-boy @Earl of Punkapeabout this. But be warned - he may be an imaginary posh-boy, but there’s nothing imaginary about his raving homosexuality.

I can't afford it anyway, I will have to use public transport and catch the train of thought instead

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17 hours ago, ChildeHarold said:

Tata, enough said. If I had to be hospitalised for Covid in either Stuttgart or Coventry I know which one I'd choose. 

Why "enough said"? Do you know what you are actually talking about or, as I suspect, you're just shooting from the hip?

JLR quality and reliability indices are well documented but Tata appear to have done a better job than previous owners, British Leyland, BMW and Ford.

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Guest Williewhoopassjohnson
12 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I could do but he won't like it. 

Dont pay his wages then, what are staff actually for if they dont follow direct orders 

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Guest Williewhoopassjohnson
40 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

Why "enough said"? Do you know what you are actually talking about or, as I suspect, you're just shooting from the hip?

JLR quality and reliability indices are well documented but Tata appear to have done a better job than previous owners, British Leyland, BMW and Ford.

We had a tata truck at work once was the biggest bunch of pony we ever spent money on, horrific things 

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Guest Williewhoopassjohnson
16 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Road beater? Or whatever they called it.

It was a pickup thing we got it brand new, first week the gearbox went, then the handbrake snapped a month later, it used to pull to the left, had a dash full of buttons that didnt do anything and you had to stall it to stop it becuase if you took the key out it kept running, i graciously offered to burn it out but was declined 

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Guest Williewhoopassjohnson
31 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Yeah, that was it. Drove one for a couple of hours and it was shite. Made me nostalgic for the old Mazda pick-up with bouncy suspension and column shift gear change.

Horse shit wasn't they, the bodywork was basically flattened coke cans aswell paper thin, I'm not surprised they went bust 

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On 07/09/2020 at 13:48, Williewhoopassjohnson said:

So was just driving home down a relatively tight lane and came to a section where it gave way on my side to a massive pothole, i pulled up the same time as some middle class geography teacher type in a offroad kitted out landy who then stopped and wouldn't go up the fucking grass verge. Complete spunk sock of a human and given the opportunity I'd have like to have fed him his "one life live it" sticker. I'm well aware the obstruction was on my side but he had an offroad truck. Cuntbag. 

I can't say I entirely agree. I have a SORN Landy Defender (that's esp. for you @Hammer of Cunts) which has been sitting on my driveway for the past year gathering dust, oak leaves and spider webs – and a whole lot of value, without the usual 4x4 running costs. As any knitted-out old Defender owner knows, consistent off-roading usually brings new oil leaks or prop shaft problems. What I do know is while I'm not spending money on it, its scarcity means its appreciating around £1.5-2k per year, and thus performing better than an ISA or unit trust under present conditions.

'Mongs with offroad cars that don't offroad' indeed.

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