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Mongs with offroad cars that don't offroad


Guest Williewhoopassjohnson

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1 hour ago, Mrs Roops said:

Technically, they are in fact well above the competition. The issue is and always has been quality control and reliability.

You answered my question. I am currently standing at a tarmac crater outside B&Q where a parked Disco burst into a ball of flames a few weeks ago. Ha ha ha. Apparently a common problem. And you think BMW don't make a better off roader? 

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12 hours ago, Williewhoopassjohnson said:

Yeah i think offroaders trucks ect all lost the point when they started marketing to a different group, they were designed to be slung round fields through rivers off trees ect not designed to be blocking roads on the school run, the only pleasure i take with them is aiming my usually shit and always cheap vans at them when they refuse to let me merge, its the small pleasures in life they say 

No they're for fatsos who can't get in or out of a normal car without having a heart attack. Cunts. I'd fit the DISCOs with covid air con. 

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Guest Williewhoopassjohnson
7 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

No they're for fatsos who can't get in or out of a normal car without having a heart attack. Cunts. I'd fit the DISCOs with covid air con. 

And machine guns, just for the really stubborn ones 

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1 hour ago, ChildeHarold said:

You answered my question. I am currently standing at a tarmac crater outside B&Q where a parked Disco burst into a ball of flames a few weeks ago. Ha ha ha. Apparently a common problem. And you think BMW don't make a better off roader? 

It used to be said that the best suspension engineers were to be found at Citroen, these days it could be argued that they reside at Land Rover. That's the point, Land and Range Rovers are highly competent off-roaders yet they're also capable of limousine quality ride comfort on the roads. BMW makes fine machines to be sure but no serious off-roader is going to choose an X-Drive or an Audi Q car for that matter. It's a shame that Land Rover has absorbed Jaguar's legacy quality control issues.

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2 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

The issue is and always has been quality control and reliability

Which, basically, makes them shite. LR products are for "downsized" urban posers. Those who need a 4x4 use Jap pick-ups because they're reliable and economical.

I used to trade-plate the damn things around the country; Anything made by LR was unlikely to function properly for long; the torque converter usually failed (or the rear window fell out), the factory alarm/immobilisers were a laughing stock. The dealers were mostly arses as well.

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3 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

It used to be said that the best suspension engineers were to be found at Citroen, these days it could be argued that they reside at Land Rover. That's the point, Land and Range Rovers are highly competent off-roaders yet they're also capable of limousine quality ride comfort on the roads. BMW makes fine machines to be sure but no serious off-roader is going to choose an X-Drive or an Audi Q car for that matter. It's a shame that Land Rover has absorbed Jaguar's legacy quality control issues.

Tata, enough said. If I had to be hospitalised for Covid in either Stuttgart or Coventry I know which one I'd choose. 

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4 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

It used to be said that the best suspension engineers were to be found at Citroen, these days it could be argued that they reside at Land Rover. That's the point, Land and Range Rovers are highly competent off-roaders yet they're also capable of limousine quality ride comfort on the roads. BMW makes fine machines to be sure but no serious off-roader is going to choose an X-Drive or an Audi Q car for that matter. It's a shame that Land Rover has absorbed Jaguar's legacy quality control issues.

The citreon's hydraulic suspension was a royal pain in the arse. I had all sorts of problems with mine. Didn't rise because their were slits in the bags was the most common problem. Twice I had to get them seen to and then claim the money back from Citroen. In the end after they failed to deploy for the 3rd time, I took it to a garage and had the whole suspension system swapped for springs. 500 sovs including labour it cost me but I was so fucked off with it I just paid. Never again.

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Guest Williewhoopassjohnson
1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I think Darwinism is at work with these cunts on battery scooters. You have to be fucking mental to weave in and out of fast moving traffic on one of these things.

Most of them are just benifit sponging anyway, there's one who cruises about my town who i recognise becuase he's a dead ringer for elvis, parks up outside the offy for fags and booze walks about in there no problem. I should do town a favour really amd swipe him with the wagon door 

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8 minutes ago, Williewhoopassjohnson said:

Most of them are just benifit sponging anyway, there's one who cruises about my town who i recognise becuase he's a dead ringer for elvis, parks up outside the offy for fags and booze walks about in there no problem. I should do town a favour really amd swipe him with the wagon door 

They do like to exhibit their frustrations in their chariots. 

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7 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

It used to be said that the best suspension engineers were to be found at Citroen, these days it could be argued that they reside at Land Rover. That's the point, Land and Range Rovers are highly competent off-roaders yet they're also capable of limousine quality ride comfort on the roads. BMW makes fine machines to be sure but no serious off-roader is going to choose an X-Drive or an Audi Q car for that matter. It's a shame that Land Rover has absorbed Jaguar's legacy quality control issues.

The only mud that gets on BMW and Audi “off-roaders“ is from a playing field, when they go to collect Algernon and Clement from rugger. As you say, Land Rover / Range Rover are truly capable off-road vehicles that are also pleasant road cars. However, they are also generally purchased by wankers, with he biggest of these wankers purchasing imaginary ones.

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53 minutes ago, Williewhoopassjohnson said:

Most of them are just benifit sponging anyway, there's one who cruises about my town who i recognise becuase he's a dead ringer for elvis, parks up outside the offy for fags and booze walks about in there no problem. I should do town a favour really amd swipe him with the wagon door 

I'm talking about those scooters that you stand on. Are you talking about those sit down ones? 

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Guest Williewhoopassjohnson
1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I'm talking about those scooters that you stand on. Are you talking about those sit down ones? 

Oh i did actually mean the sit down ones yeah, the ones on the stand up scooters also need knocking under an artic just out of principle, really like to clothesline someone off one. They can do 30mph aswell flat out 

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