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Guest 'eavensabove

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28 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

It’s a great pity you didn’t manage to kebab yourself with the aforementioned implement before disposal.Your local community would have heaved a collective sigh of relief before picketing your non ecumenical funeral...

lol.

Scum.

Still rattled? Aren’t you getting enough cock?

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Guest 'eavensabove
1 hour ago, King Billy said:

I used to have a spear gun a while back but I got rid of it as it was a dangerous thing to have around the house. The fucker let go a couple of times accidentally when I didn’t intend it to and it would have gone straight through anything alive in its way. I had to explain to the missus about the fucking hole in the wall when she came back home. The other time was in the garden and it skimmed passed a tree and stuck in the fence. Not really a household item.

Ha!  I fired my one into a door once, and had to drill the spear out. It would make short work of a robbers backbone, that's for sure. Shark fishing on dry land.  

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11 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

Ha!  I fired my one into a door once, and had to drill the spear out. It would make short work of a robbers backbone, that's for sure. Shark fishing on dry land.  

I was surprised at the power of mine too. I’ve never scuba dived in my life so why I thought having a harpoon gun indoors was a good idea still puzzles me. Most things I’ve done in my life puzzle me and that really puzzles me.

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2 minutes ago, King Billy said:

I was surprised at the power of mine too. I’ve never scuba dived in my life so why I thought having a harpoon gun indoors was a good idea still puzzles me. Most things I’ve done in my life puzzle me and that really puzzles me.

Have you tried your hand with jig-saws?  Puzzles. 

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3 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

Have you tried your hand with jig-saws?  Puzzles. 

I remember I had a Rubiks Cube and I didn’t have the heart to jumble it up cos I knew I wouldn’t be able to solve it before I lost my temper and smashed it to fuck and stamped all over it.

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4 minutes ago, King Billy said:

I remember I had a Rubiks Cube and I didn’t have the heart to jumble it up cos I knew I wouldn’t be able to solve it before I lost my temper and smashed it to fuck and stamped all over it.

The original ones were cool. You could swap the coloured stickers around. Cube, solved. 

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8 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

Learned to solve the cube when I was about 14 - can still do it now.

@Witheredscrote - fuck off.

Clever cunt. I wouldn't know how to start. I can remember some freaky young kids on tele doing a cube in each hand in like less than 30 seconds. Mind you, I bet the little cunts cant make glass ships in glass bottles, like ol' 'eavens can.  @Wolfie

Edited by 'eavensabove
CRAPPING FOR THE NHS
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1 minute ago, 'eavensabove said:

Clever cunt. I wouldn't know how to start. I can remember some freaky young kids on tele doing a cube in each hand in like less than 30 seconds. Mind you, I bet the little cunts cant make glass ships in glass bottles, like ol' 'eavens can. 

I fucking hate clever cunt kids like them. If I caught any kid of mine being clever I’d drop it straight off at Barnardos and tell them I found it wandering on the motorway. Then I’d drive home like a bat out of hell and give her indoors a good thrashing with s leather belt. I’m just an old fashioned guy I guess.

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2 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Rubik was a Hungarian Cunt. I don’t think he made them all himself though.

Indeed, and Hungarian women use the Rubik cube as a pregnancy test. They shove it up their fanny, wait for 30 seconds, whip the fucker out and if its not solved they're pregnant.  

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30 minutes ago, King Billy said:

I fucking hate clever cunt kids like them. If I caught any kid of mine being clever I’d drop it straight off at Barnardos and tell them I found it wandering on the motorway. Then I’d drive home like a bat out of hell and give her indoors a good thrashing with s leather belt. I’m just an old fashioned guy I guess.

Just like Ronnie Kray (substitute rent boy for wife)

lol.

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1 hour ago, 'eavensabove said:

Ha!  I fired my one into a door once, and had to drill the spear out. It would make short work of a robbers backbone, that's for sure. Shark fishing on dry land.  

 

1 hour ago, King Billy said:

I was surprised at the power of mine too. I’ve never scuba dived in my life so why I thought having a harpoon gun indoors was a good idea still puzzles me. Most things I’ve done in my life puzzle me and that really puzzles me.

You two would have loved my 180lb pull, reverse draw crossbow.

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1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

 

You two would have loved my 180lb pull, reverse draw crossbow.

Powerful fucker... I had one of those small hand-held crossbows and that had some power (and speed) for its size.  

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25 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

 

You two would have loved my 180lb pull, reverse draw crossbow.

I used to love catapults. Funny I just remembered some great fucking capers with catapults years ago. Youngsters nowadays have completely missed out on proper growing up fun. Snowflakes  the lot of them. The future isn’t worth a wank IMO.

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Just now, King Billy said:

I used to love catapults. Funny I just remembered some great fucking capers with catapults years ago. Youngsters nowadays have completely missed out on proper growing up fun. Snowflakes  the lot of them. The future isn’t worth a wank IMO.

Too fucking right. Slingshots full of nails aimed for the eyes.

Or one of these fuckers, knocked-up in yer shed using yer neighbours fences. Home Education for yer kids!

See the source image 

 

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